


Daddy Dearest

by AquaWolfGirl



Series: Daddy Dearest Series [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Kid cuteness, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Single Dad AU, Single Parent AU, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:43:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 53,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7782025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaWolfGirl/pseuds/AquaWolfGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When single father Ben Solo moves into his new apartment in Bespin with 5-month old daughter Amy in tow, he hopes to hell and back that this life will be better than the one they left behind in upstate New York. It's not long before his life becomes a cycle of work, Amy, work, Amy. One night, while trying to fish his keys from his pocket without waking his infant daughter, Rey, his next door neighbor, offers a helping hand.<br/>Free time between classes and a need for money means Rey's soon taking care of Amy while Ben works at Starkiller Publishing. As the months pass, he falls harder and harder for the young college student with a smile like sunshine and who's the only one aside from him who can actually get his daughter to sleep. But between Amy, work, and his own insecurities, he thinks it's better that she doesn't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> After months and months of editing and rewriting, it's finally here! Welcome to Daddy Dearest, the 3 part saga of single father Ben and next-door neighbor Rey. Each part will be fairly long. It was intended to be a very long one-shot, but after much debate I decided to split it into three parts.  
> Expect lots of fluff, lots of hurt/comfort, a little bit of angst sprinkled here and there, and some smut sprinkled throughout.  
> Thanks for being so patient, and I hope you like it!  
> Original idea credit goes to the wonderful elenlith. The original post can be found here: http://elenlith.tumblr.com/post/137727958509/all-my-reylo-edits-single-parent-ben-solo-moves

**4 months and 3 weeks**  
**Thursday**

“Amy, my fingers are not food.”

He tries to remove his fingers from her mouth, skin damp from her drool. It doesn’t even bother him anymore, if he’s entirely honest with himself. Ben just groans softly as she looks at him, wide brown eyes terribly sad at the idea of the loss of her ‘food’.

“Sweetheart, I need those. I know you’re hungry, but please just wait a moment,” he mutters, pulling his fingers away from her lips to grab the keys from his back jeans pocket.

The brand new key sticks in the old lock, and he resists the urge to curse in front of very sensitive, very impressionable ears as he pushes against the door marked ‘404’ as hard as he can while holding his daughter in his other arm. Eventually the wood gives, and he breathes a sigh of relief as he practically stumbles into the space with her.

He looks around the living room, gazing at the new apartment for the just the second time. The rooms are bare, not furnished or decorated like the last time he’d seen it during the open house, but it’s something. He walks across the light hardwood floor, looking around the space in relief. It’s leagues better than the dangerous bachelor pad he had before, at the very least. The other place had been a new parent’s nightmare with its iron edges and exposed brick, its heavy windows and bare wood flooring. Here is all smooth walls and coated wood; it’s significantly happier, too.

Well, anything would be happier than that place, admittedly – what with the memories that were attached to it.

Their new two bedroom apartment is a bit more modern than he’d like, but the new building offered better accommodations for her than some of the oder, more distinguished buildings with cheaper rents. He’s happy with it, though, and it’ll work well for Amy. There’s a tub in the master bath for bathing her, and she’ll have her own room. Square footage-wise, it’s almost pitiful compared to the apartment he’d had back in New York, but they’ll manage just fine.

He sets the worn duffel bag down on the floor, still holding the 4-month old girl close to his chest. He crouches with her as he uses his free hand to unzip the bag, the old zipper sticking occasionally and nearly prompting him to curse as he drags it along the crooked teeth. Inside the duffel is a plethora of baby things – it’s just the start of her stash, the rest in boxes in the rented car. Rummaging around the onesies and teething toys, he finds the backpack with a relieved sigh. Bless whoever created this, he thinks as he fiddles with the straps to get it ready for her. Amy’s currently finding her own fingers very interesting and apparently delicious, and he’s grateful for the distraction as he sets her gently on the floor and hurriedly puts the backpack on.

Within moments she’s being lifted, and then she’s strapped to his chest. He tightens the straps as needed and reaches into the bag, coming up with a plastic toy giraffe. “Here you go, babe,” he mutters as he hands it to her. Tiny fingers clutch at the toy, and he smiles for the first time in a while as he closes the door behind them for safety’s sake.

The rented handcart’s in the back of the also rented car, and with some difficulty he manages to get it out without jostling or irritating Amy too much. From then on the moving’s easy; it’s a blissfully short process of carefully loading boxes onto the cart and bringing them up to his - their - apartment. He’s incredibly grateful that the building’s elevator’s working – he has no idea what he’d do otherwise.

It doesn’t take him too many trips to unload their things into the apartment; there are less than a dozen boxes holding their meager belongings. He has an air mattress as a bed for now, and one of those pop-up cribs for her for the time being. Furniture still has to be purchased from IKEA, or whatever other cheap place he can find. He’ll deal with that later, he thinks. For now, he has to get her settled.

She comes first. Always.

He glances down at her as she noms on the toy giraffe, drooling up a storm but seemingly content as they ride the elevator up to their apartment. He smiles a bit, bending to press a kiss to the top of her light brown, downy hair.

When the last box is unloaded in the living room, he lets out a relieved sigh and walks into the kitchen. It’s not the biggest kitchen, but the appliances are new and clean, at least. He’s relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about a faulty stove, or a leaky fridge. He settles himself against the counter, Amy still secure in the backpack. He looks down at her, pressing another soft kiss to the top of her head. She’s still mouthing at the head of the giraffe, and he allows himself a small, relieved smile as he rests his cheek against the top of her head.

“We’re here, love,” he mutters. “We’re here.”

He doesn’t get much of a break. His phone rings not two seconds later, and he scrambles to fish it out of his pocket. Warm brown eyes stare up at him as he swipes along the screen and puts the speaker to his ear. “Mom? Yeah, we’re here.”

-

**4 months, 3 weeks, 4 days**  
**Monday**

His job isn’t exactly what he wants to do - he’d much rather be writing the books than editing them - but it’s a goddamn dream when he considers that the company made an excuse for him to bring Amy in with him. Hux wasn’t exactly happy when he’d insisted bringing on his daughter to work, but the redhead caved eventually to his pleading and Amy’s cooing. After all, the company needs as many hands on deck as they can possibly get with the move and merger.

Now Amy sits in his office, rocking in the little mechanized swinger that he bought from a thrift shop back in his hometown. He has to improvise at nap time, the blanket he’d brought still letting light in despite him folding it over twice. The first day he walks around in just a dress shirt and pants, his jacket sacrificed to give her total darkness and his tie holding said jacket in place. Phasma had raised an eyebrow at the wardrobe change, but didn’t say anything as she handed him a prospective book.

When Starkiller Publishing moved to the bustling city of Bespin, he’d scrambled to leave his small town in upstate New York. He’d gone apartment hunting immediately, reluctantly leaving Amy in the hands of his parents as he explored housing options near the office building. Once he found a decent space for sale, he’d packed his and Amy’s things in less than a week, abandoning his former bachelor pad with its iron staircase and multiple hazards.

He’d been on constant watch there, his heart clenched constantly in fear of the worst. He ended up leaving many of his old belongings behind, letting the new owner decide what to do with his uncomfortable couch and his modern but very unsafe coffee table.

Here is much more baby-proof-able, rubber on every pointed surface even though she has yet to move on her own. He covers every outlet diligently, spreading blankets on the floor in lieu of rugs just in case the previous owner didn’t clean as thoroughly as they’d thought and an errant nail or shard of glass emerged from the wood. Amy reclines in her swing as he deep-cleans every inch of the place, her brown eyes entranced by the mobile overhead as he gets on his hands and knees and scrubs until his elbows hurt and his knees ache. He sweeps her into his arms afterwards, nearly collapsing into the rocking chair he’d bought the day after they arrived and holding her close. The entire place smells of baby-friendly cleaning supplies for hours afterwards. He’s perhaps overly careful, but when she’s all he has, he has to be.

-

**5 months**  
**Thursday**

Before he really realizes it, a week has passed. Their days are filled with trial and error; of figuring out that the window in her room lets off too much light and jury-rigging a way to keep said light out using a couple of large towels as curtains, and realizing that the air mattress he’d stolen from his parents has seen better days and apparently has an undetectable leak, leaving him on the floor at 2 in the morning.

He also figures out that Amy really, really does not like solid food yet – she spit the cereal/milk mix right back out; the proof is in the stained jeans he still has in the hamper. She fusses a lot, unused to the new place and all its little quirks, and he’s constantly catering to her needs as a result.

“C’mon, babe, just go to sleep,” he whines one night, kissing the top of her head as she cries in his arms. After an hour, she finally falls asleep against his bare chest. Too scared of waking her again, he walks outside in the apartment hallway for hours until the sun rises.

It’s not exactly a routine, but it happens often enough that he’s getting less sleep than she is constantly. Every single baby book and online article he’d read had told him that she should be sleeping through the night, but the new environment has thrown both his and her routine completely out of whack.

His life is quickly becoming a cycle; a constant roundabout of taking care of her and working on top of it with little to no time in between. The circles under his eyes only become darker as the days go on (as his redheaded boss points out every morning with no small amount of amusement), and he might not smile often, but they’re here and they’re okay and money is entering the bank account thanks to Hux.

The man may be a bastard at times, but Ben almost cries when he sees that said man added another $200 on top of his normal salary. The man nods at him in the hallway the next day, even going so far as to pat Amy’s head awkwardly as if she’s a pet. Ben doesn’t say anything, too tired and grateful for the extra cash to protest that his daughter is in fact a human being and not one of Hux’s cats.

Moments where she isn’t attached to his hip are still filled with her - making her food, buying things for her online since he doesn’t want to take her out just yet, and being on constant alert should she cry out or need him. He’s often up seconds before she cries, launching himself into her room to scoop her up and cradle her. She mouths at his shirt, sometimes, instinctively looking for the comfort of the mother that left them, and it hurts more than he thought it would. He gives her a pacifier instead, sighing as she’s soothed.

He might not be the best father, he thinks, and he might not ever be. But he’s trying his very best to be a good one, at the very least.

-

**5 months, 4 days**  
**Monday**

He has to work late. Hux demands it (though he has to give the redhead credit - the teetering stack of files is accompanied by a short apology), and Phasma casts a sympathetic glance into his office as another stack of files is placed on his desk.

They’re simple things that take more time than effort, forms and replies that have to do with the upcoming merger with the larger, more successful publishing company. But it’s still a pain, and he worries for his daughter’s bedtime routine as he looks towards the infant, who’s fussing in her little swing. He scoops her up and balances her on his lap, one arm around her while the other works on the paper. Her soft weight and warmth help him through the process, and he occasionally drops kisses to the top of her head just to hear her coo and gurgle at the feeling of his lips against her skin.

It’s past 9 pm by the time he finishes, slipping the files into the box on his desk for Hux to pick up the next day. Amy’s fast asleep in his arms by this point, and it takes quite a bit of slow maneuvering to attempt to get her into the backpack for the walk back to the apartment. Eventually he gives up on getting the sleeping baby into the backpack without waking her, and slips it in his briefcase instead.

He carries her in his arms, keeping her close to his chest as he walks the ten blocks to their home. He can’t afford a car, baby necessities and rent taking up most of his saved-up funds, but it doesn’t matter. The walking motion soothes her, thankfully, and she stays asleep for the stroll. He takes the elevator, wincing at the loud ‘ding’ that it makes when it arrives. Thankfully, she doesn’t wake, and he allows himself a kiss to the top of her head as they make the ride up. Amy snuggles closer to him despite the not-quite-comfortable cotton of his work shirt, and he smiles down at her in response.

When they reach apartment 404, he stops.

His keys. They’re in his briefcase, which is slung over his shoulder. He bites his lip, looking down at his sleeping daughter. Perhaps if he -

He shifts, but the movement of his shoulder causes her to whine and squirm against him. He freezes like a statue as she stretches, trying to get comfortable again. On the one hand, it’s a blessing when she remains asleep, but it’s also a curse - if she’d woken up, he could’ve gotten his keys without it making a damn bit of difference.

Ben bites his lip, trying another angle to see if that would work. It doesn’t, because life sucks, and he resists the urge to groan out loud as his shoulder twinges at the angle he’d tried. He shifts slightly, trying not to move his sleeping daughter much as he tries yet again.

“Do you need help?” He almost misses the question with how softly it’s asked. He turns as slowly as he can, dark eyes searching for the speaker in the dim light of the apartment hallway.

She’s a college student, if the backpack slung over her shoulder is anything to go by. She looks the part as well; her dark brown hair’s pulled up into a messy bun, and she’s wearing a ragged cream sweater and brown leggings with white Converse that have seen better days. She’s already reaching down before he can protest, letting her backpack fall from her shoulder. She sets it on the floor as quietly as she can, and offers her hands to him, presumably to take Amy.

“Please,” he begs quietly, turning his side to her so that she can reach into his briefcase instead. “Inner pocket, on the left side. The keychain’s a red lightsaber,” he whispers.

She reaches into briefcase, her small fingers emerging victorious. He reaches to take the key but she unlocks his door for him instead, opening it quietly and pushing it open for him with an ease that tells him that she knows these doors well. It doesn’t stick or squeak like it usually does, and he breathes a sigh of relief at the lack of sound.

“Thank you.” He slips through, and she stands awkwardly in the doorway. He turns his shoulder to her, holding Amy tightly with one hand and gesturing to the briefcase strap with the other. “If you wouldn’t mind-“

She’s beside him instantly, grabbing the strap and lifting it enough so that he can duck out from underneath of it. He takes it from her with his free hand and sets it on the ground beside the door. When he straightens again, she’s looking at him expectantly, and he’s startled at the warmth of her smile for a total stranger.

Amy squirms against his chest, and his gaze darts down to his daughter.

Right. Baby. That’s why she’s smiling.

“If you don’t mind waiting for a few minutes, I just need to put this one to bed,” he whispers. She nods, and he walks Amy to her room. There’s little in it besides the pop-up crib, the rocking chair and a noisemaker, plugged in and set on the floor. The crib has a changing table attached, so he doesn’t have to worry about that - yet. Her clothes and toys are still in boxes on the floor. He hasn’t managed to unpack, let alone buy furniture yet. It’s not the most welcoming room, but it’s all they have for now.

He sets her down in the crib, sighing softly as she stretches but doesn’t wake. He turns the noisemaker on the low setting before drawing the makeshift towel curtains and leaving her to sleep. The door’s still slightly open for his own safety reasons, so he turns off the hall lights and walks out to where his neighbor’s waiting. The girl’s standing in the middle of the living room when he emerges, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Thank you,” he says, voice quiet. “I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without your help.”

“It’s no problem,” she insists, and then she smiles and offers her hand. “Rey Jakksun, 402.” Her accent’s vaguely British, out of place in the midst of the cacophony of different tones he’s heard over the past week and a half. He feels his stomach flip-flop at the brightness of her smile, and offers the best smile he can back.

“Ben. 404.” He takes her hand and shakes it gently.

“I know. Well, the 404 part,” she explains quickly, letting go of his hand and crossing her arms over her chest, leaning back on her hip as she looks around the apartment curiously. “I’ve seen you with her before, but you never stopped to say hi. You just kind of rushed by.”

“Oh.” It’s the only thing he can think to respond with. She’s gorgeous, he thinks, now that he can look at her properly in the bright light of his apartment instead of the dim needs-to-be-fixed flicker of the hallway. There’s a scattering of freckles across her nose, and her soft, reassuring smile’s warm and very, very pretty.

No. He can’t do this, not yet, he thinks. It’s too soon, and by the looks of it she’s far, far too young. Pretty, she may be – available or willing, she is probably definitely not. He shifts, stiff in his work clothes and eager to fall right into bed - well, mattress. “Well, thank you for your help. It was a pleasure to meet you.” It’s a dismissal if he’s ever heard one, but she doesn’t seem to take the hint, instead still lingering in his living room.

Rey goes from smiling warmly to biting her lip in a second flat, looking just past his shoulder and avoiding his eyes. “I … noticed you only have pictures of the two of you,” she explains. “Sorry if I’m intruding, but I was just curious.”

She’s not wrong about the pictures. The small foldable table beside the door, one of the few pieces of furniture he has, holds two framed photos. One is of Amy herself, and the other one is of him holding her at the hospital. It isn’t much to go off of in terms of personal information, but he can assume her thought process. He feels his cheeks and the tops of his ears flush slightly, and is very suddenly regretting inviting her in. “

It’s only us two,” he explains, tone slightly hostile even though he didn’t mean for it to be. He thanks every deity he can think of when she just nods understandingly, and doesn’t bother to press. If she feels pity for or judges him, she doesn’t show it.

“And you work?” she asks, looking between the briefcase and him, taking in his ill-fitting suit and crooked tie.

“I’m lucky enough to have a job where I can take her with me without too much trouble,” he tells her.

“Oh.” She shifts a bit, hands twisting in front of her. She rocks slightly on her heels as she looks up at him. “All of my classes are in the evening,” she offers. She looks back at the pictures. “I just thought, I mean, if you ever need someone to-“

“Yes.” It sounds like a sob; it’s a choked, desperate sound, and it seems to shock her as much as it shocks him in its suddenness. He didn’t really think before he spoke, he realizes – it just sort of came out. He clears his throat, shaking his head. “I mean, that would be wonderful. I can pay you. Not very well, but I can pay you. Do you have any experience with kids?”

She nods, her face splitting into that pretty smile again. He suddenly thinks that she’s like sunshine, filling the dim, empty space of his apartment with much welcomed light. It makes the tension in his shoulders ease just slightly. “That would be great, actually,” she says. “I’m a student, up at Republic College - I’ll take what I can get in terms of jobs. I’ve babysat for my godson a few times.”

He’s opening his mouth to ask her about her godson when the baby monitor lights up, a shriek following shortly afterwards. He’s rushing to Amy’s room before he can even excuse himself, pushing the door open and sweeping the baby girl into his arms with practiced ease. “Sh, sh, you’re all right, it’s all right…” He can hear the street cleaner moving down the street, the loud rumble having scared her from her sleep. The little girl calms immediately in his arms, cooing and clutching clumsily at the buttons his work shirt.

Ben rocks her, pacing the room until she’s asleep again, fingers loosely clenched in his shirt. It doesn’t take long to send her back to dreamland, ten minutes at most, but to him it seems like an eternity with Rey out in the living room. Once she’s settled back into sleep, he sets her down gently, waiting until he’s sure she’s down easy before turning back to leave.

He’s surprised to see that Rey’s standing in the doorway of the bedroom, leaning against the frame and watching them with an expression Ben can only describe as ‘tender’. He walks to her, stepping out of the room and gesturing for her to come with him. She follows him into the dark hallway, standing and waiting beside him. He runs his hand through his dark hair again, offering her a sheepish look.

“Would you mind starting tomorrow, at 7:30?” he offers. “If that’s too early, I can adjust a little bit, maybe 8 or so, but -“

He can barely see it in the low light coming from the living room, but she smiles at him. “7:30,” she assures him. “I’d love to.”

-

**5 months, 5 days**  
**Tuesday**

The morning’s a whirlwind. He wakes up fifteen minutes later than usual thanks to being up half the night with his very needy daughter and the damn street cleaner, and opts to take a cold shower to wake himself up more. Amy cries out again as soon as he steps past the shower door, and he takes perhaps the fastest shower he’s ever taken in his entire life so he can get to her sooner. His hair’s still wet as he finishes getting dressed, and he ends up brushing his teeth with Amy balanced on his hip. She likes his tie, taking the loose end of the accessory and putting it in her mouth. He’s just grateful he chose a navy blue one - drool doesn’t show as much on dark colors. When the knock on the front door comes, he still has the toothbrush in his mouth as he rushes to open it.

Rey’s still in her pajamas. Or at least what he would consider pajamas - a large, paint-splattered t-shirt that comes mid-thigh, and a pair of black leggings with the same Converse she’d had on the night before. She wordlessly reaches for Amy, and he lets her take his daughter before rushing back to spit the foam out of his mouth. Hux is going to have a fit with him for being late, but Hux is also an asshole who is going to have to deal with it.

“I wrote out instructions last night. They’re on the fridge, and I’ll give you my number in case something happens,” he explains as he rushes out of the bathroom towards his closet, grabbing his shoes and tugging them on. He realizes he forgot socks as soon as he enters the living room again, and curses under his breath as he hurries back to his room.

“I’ll call myself from your phone, so we have each other’s numbers. What’s your passcode?” she asks, calling to him, and that’s when he remembers that he’d put his phone on the fold-out table so he wouldn’t forget it.

He yells his passcode over his shoulder - Amy’s birthday, a combination of 0’s and 5’s and 4’s - as he scrambles to find socks. He hears her phone ring a moment later, having called herself from his phone. “Now you have mine and I have yours,” she explains as he steps out of his room.

Amy’s finding Rey’s shirt entertaining, small hands stroking the soft cotton and poking at the bright colors splattered on the fabric. Rey coos softly, reaching down to press a kiss to Amy’s head. The 5 month old curls into the girl, hands finding a strand of dark brown hair next. Ben winces as Amy tugs at Rey’s hair, but relaxes a bit when Rey just laughs and pulls her hair from the baby’s fist.

“I can’t thank you enough,” he insists. “I’ll be back by 6, at the very very latest.”

“My class doesn’t start until 7,” she assures him. “We’ll be fine.” She turns Amy towards him for a goodbye kiss. He leans in and presses a kiss to her chubby cheek, squeezing her small hand. He doesn’t pull away until Rey pushes at his shoulder.

“You have to go,” she tells him, as if he doesn’t already know.

“Right,” he replies, nodding. “She’s started on solids, so there’s cereal and formula in the far left cabinet and some premade in the freezer. There’s also some avocado around here somewhere as well. Again, there are instructions for it on the fridge, but I can also text you if you want it there too-“

“Ben.” It sounds like an order, and his heart drops with the idea of leaving her. Though Rey seems capable already, it still makes him absolutely nauseous. He bends and chances one last kiss to his daughter’s cheek before straightening up again.

“Right.” He fiddles with the strap of his briefcase as he swings it over his shoulder. “I don’t suppose it would be too much to ask for an update every hour?”

Rey shakes her head, bouncing Amy on her hip slightly. Her eyes are on the child, but she’s speaking to Ben as she says, “Don’t worry about it. I can do that.”

“It doesn’t have to be on the hour,” he insists. “I’d just like-“

“I’ll send you updates,” Rey insists. “Now go before you’re late.”

He nods. “Thank you again.” He feels his heart clench in his chest as he closes the door behind him, and bites his lip as he starts towards the office. He casts a glance back at the building no less than a dozen times, trying to find their window on the front of the apartment complex.

His worries are abated when, not even fifteen minutes later, his phone buzzes. He opens the message to a picture of Amy on Rey’s lap, the baby stroking at the scratchy paint on the hem of Rey’s shirt. It’s accompanied by the caption, ‘She likes color’, with a smiley face emoji.

He smiles softly before continuing his walk as quickly as he possibly can without tripping.

-

True to her word, Rey updates him. Every hour or so, there’s a new photo or video waiting for him in his messages. He looks forward to hearing the sounds his daughter makes, to seeing her cooing and clapping clumsily at something Rey does. Rey’s not often in them, the camera focused on Amy as she does tummy time or bounces in her swing.

“You need new batteries for this,” Rey tells him in the video from 4:00. He can see her foot at the bottom of the mechanized swing. She’s the one making it move, much to Amy’s delight. His daughter reaches towards Rey’s blue-painted toes. “It just died on us. I’ll check if I have some when you get home.”

Sometimes he catches glimpses of the sitter’s work, papers covered in drawings and measurements and numbers piled on top of the boxes that are currently their ‘coffee table’. He can’t decipher any of them, his mind accustomed to working with words more than numbers. But the drawings tell him that she’s smart, at least, and artistic, and he feels a bit better about entrusting her with Amy.

He’s exhausted by the time work lets out, handing Hux the prospective book he’s been reading through with the pages marked in plenty of red. “Not bad,” he tells the redhead. “But not exactly good.”

Hux nods his assent, moving past the new father into his own office. Ben watches him go and books it out of there as soon as possible with a nod to Phasma in her office.

The walk to his apartment is entirely too long, and he practically stumbles through the door, dropping his briefcase on the way. It hits the floor by the door with a heavy clunk, and Rey’s smile when her head snaps up is brilliant enough that it makes his heart skip a beat.

“Daddy’s home!”

Rey’s grinning at him from the floor of the living room, Amy propped up in her lap. The older girl has graph and lined paper surrounding her, as well as an assortment of pens and colored pencils. Amy’s holding a ball of graph paper in her tiny hands, feeling the roughness of it with curious fingers. Ben walks towards them, opening his hands. Rey lifts the baby up so that he can take her, and he sweeps Amy into his arms. The little girl coos, curling into him while still holding loosely onto the ball of paper.

“How was she?” he demands, looking at his daughter and automatically checking her for any injuries or marks.

“A little angel,” Rey says as she starts to pack up her things, putting her pencils and drafting supplies in their corresponding cases. “Except for when it came to eating.”

“No luck?”

“Oh, there was luck,” Rey says. “She likes avocado so much she was nearly sick afterwards. Happy as a clam, just very messy.” She points to a spot on her shirt that’s definitely not paint, green mush pressed into the fabric.

He looks down at Amy, raising an eyebrow at his little daughter. “Really?”

“Really. Also, you need a high chair soon, now that she’s started on solids.”

“Noted.” He looks towards Rey, who’s now picking up her papers. “What major are you?”

“Industrial design,” she explains. “Which explains all the paper and drafting supplies.” She swings her backpack up and over her shoulders. “Do you need me tomorrow?”

“Yes, please.”

“7:30?”

“If that still works for you.” She smiles, and again he feels as if the room is lit from her presence alone. “I’ll be here.”

“Thank you,” he insists, cradling Amy and then shifting her so that she’s on his hip. “Thank you so much.”

She waves her hand in dismissal, and then in farewell as she leaves the apartment. He watches her go before looking down to Amy who has yet again found his tie.

“Did you have fun, princess?” he asks, bouncing her a bit to get her to look at him instead of the piece of fabric. His tie’s apparently more entertaining than he is.

-

**5 months, 6 days**  
**Wednesday**

He creates a new folder on his laptop the next day, saving all of the photos and videos to a folder titled ‘Amy’. He’d titled it ‘Amy & Rey’ at first, before deciding it was best to just title it with his daughter’s name.

He has a few favorites, mainly the short, 15 second video clip where Rey shows him that his daughter really likes her crinkly, bright green turtle toy. Amy’s small fingers are pretty much fascinated with the fabric and the sound that it makes. Her face is one of pure joy whenever it crinkles particularly loudly, and he can see Rey grinning behind her.

-

**5 months, 1 week and 1 day**  
**Friday**

By the time Friday comes around, he has a large collection of Amy and Rey media in the folder - pictures, videos, small story snippets and sound recordings of his daughter’s gurgles and coos and Rey’s resulting laughter. He looks at and listens to them when he has a chance to, picking a picture Rey shot with the phone wide-ways as his desktop background. Amy’s lying on the floor on her stomach, supported by a pillow. Rey’s papers can be seen spread around the floor, some of the corners a bit green from Amy’s lunch. Pencils and pens are spread around her as well, and Rey must’ve found his glasses beside the air mattress because they’re perched on Amy’s head. It had come with the caption ‘like father like daughter’, teasing that it was actually Amy working and not Rey.

When he returns that night, it’s to an empty living room. He’d worked later than he’d planned, and Rey’d assured him that she actually didn’t have classes on Friday, much to his relief. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if she’d had to go to class and take his daughter with her.

Trying to quell the fear that clenches his heart at the empty room, he rushes through the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Seeing a dim blue light coming from his daughter’s room, he stops in the doorway and stares at the scene before him.

Rey's watching a movie on her laptop with Amy fast asleep on her chest, the computer balanced on top of two boxes labeled ‘BOOKS’ while the girls are sprawled sideways across the plush rocking chair. He can hear some of the lines from Star Wars playing softly from her speakers, and sets his briefcase down as quietly as he can. Apparently it’s not quiet enough, seeing as Rey turns her head towards him with a smile.

“Episode IV?” he asks softly, toeing his shoes off at the door before walking over. She nods, careful not to jostle the baby sleeping on her chest.

“The originals are the best,” she whispers as he walks over. She moves her feet slightly so that he can sit next to the chair, on the floor, without getting hit in the head by her foot. He takes the space gratefully, watching as Han, Luke and Leia are almost crushed by the trash compactor. The volume’s low enough that their yelling and screaming is dull, barely hearable through the small speakers, but the captions are on.

“How long has she been asleep?” he asks quietly, looking towards his daughter. There’s a bit of Amy’s drool on Rey’s white t-shirt, and he feels himself flush slightly in embarrassment even though he knows from experience that drool with a 5 month old is entirely unavoidable.

“About a half hour,” she explains, her hand on the little girl’s back. “We had a bit of trouble today. She didn’t want to go down for her second nap.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, and Rey shakes her head as gently as she can without waking Amy.

“Don’t worry about it. Walked her around the apartment a few times, no big deal.” She leans down to press a kiss to Amy’s head. “She’s cute enough that it was worth it.”

“Thank you,” he says, gazing softly at the both of them. He feels like he’s inclined to say that his daughter takes after her mother, but he doesn’t want questions tonight, so he remains quiet as Rey’s hand moves to stroke his daughter’s downy hair. Amy whines at the contact, and both adults freeze as she wiggles on Rey’s chest. A split second later she cries out, and Ben stands to scoop her up.

“Nice while it lasted,” Rey mutters, sitting up and stretching as Ben cradles Amy to his chest, kissing the top of her head. He watches as Rey twists and turns, having been still for too long. He winces at the ‘pop’ that her back makes when she arches, but blushes slightly at her soft moan of relief. His eyes dart down when Amy whines again, but she seems to recognize her dad and rests her head on his chest, falling asleep again almost immediately.

Ben snorts, rocking her slightly. “And now I have to find a way to get her to bed,” he whispers, shaking his head as gently as he can. “Thank you, for everything.”

Rey shakes her head back at him before looking around the pretty much bare room. “… did the moving van get lost, or did you really leave everything behind?” she asks. “I noticed the air mattress in your room.”

“Left everything behind. A lot of it wasn’t exactly baby-proof-able,” he explains as he walks to the crib, clutching Amy to his chest. “Hold on, this won’t take too long.” She nods, and walks out to the living room as he puts Amy to bed. It’s a struggle since her small fingers cling to his lapels, but he eventually gets her off. He stays there for a few more moments than strictly necessary, just looking down at her in the small pop-up crib.

His daughter looks more like her mother, her slightly big ears perhaps the only thing he contributed to her genes. He’ll apologize more than a thousand times for them in the future, he knows. Or she might grow into them better than he had grown into his - he honestly has no idea. He watches her sleep for a few more moments, allowing himself the quiet peace of her gentle breathing and small, content noises before he walks back to the living room.

Rey’s leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for him. Her jeans are a little worse for the wear, her skin showing through the tears, and he can see that they’ve been patched a few times. She’s wearing one of her work shirts, multi-colored paints covering the white fabric at random intervals. Her shoes are abandoned by the door, old sneakers held together by sheer stubbornness at this point.

“She really is a sweetheart,” she tells him, smiling up at him as he joins her in the kitchen. “I love taking care of her.”

“Thank you, so much,” he says, settling against the counter across from her. He’s not used to the small U shaped space, much more acclimated to his big, open kitchen back in New York. But he’s getting to know the cupboards and drawers, and it’s a bit less trial and error now in terms of where everything is.

“I can take care of her tomorrow, if you want to go out somewhere,” she offers, and he just stares at her. The thought of going out hadn’t even occurred to him, to be honest. He hesitates, wondering for a moment who he would even go out with. Hux? Phasma? Both viable options, if he wasn’t sick of them by the end of the day. Plus he found Amy’s company much more pleasurable than Hux’s, by a long shot.

“I can’t,” he says, shaking his head. “I’d like to spend time with her. I feel awful for dumping her on you.”

She snorts. “Please. Take care of an adorable little girl while getting homework done, and get paid for it? It’s a dream, really.”

“Oh, right.” He pushes himself off of the counter, walking to the briefcase and pulling his checkbook out. “I’ve never paid for a babysitter before. I don’t know how much-“

“Just two hundred will do, one if you can't swing it. I don't know how to price it, really, I've never been paid for it before,” she offers, pushing off of the counter as well, and he nods. He jots down the larger number she gave him with an extra twenty bucks on top as a tip, tears the check off, and offers it to her as she walks over.

“Thank you, really,” he says as she takes the slip of paper and tucks it in her pocket. “Will you be available next week?” She nods, and he gives her a relieved smile. “Fantastic. If you wouldn’t mind-“

“Not at all.”

“Thank you.” She shakes her head, grinning up at him, and his stomach does the strange flip-flop thing that he’s started to associate with her smile. “Stop thanking me, Ben. It’s really no problem. I’ll see you on Monday?”

“See you on Monday,” he affirms, nodding at her and trying to ignore how the way she said his name makes his stomach do somersaults even harder. He watches as she packs up her things, gives one last wave, and watches to make sure that she gets into her apartment safely. As soon as her door shuts behind her, he closes his own. And immediately wishes he has something aside from an air mattress to collapse face-down onto.

-

**5 months, 1 week and 2 days - 5 months, 1 week and 3 days**  
**Saturday and Sunday**

The weekend’s uneventful, as far as his weekends go. He takes Amy to the farmer’s market around the corner, her small body tucked into the baby backpack strapped to his chest as he walks around and gathers food for the both of them. Though he doesn’t have a bed, he does have a food processor so that he can make her food homemade when he has time. As he picks up some zucchini, he briefly wonders if his priorities might be a bit skewed before putting it in the bag.

He works on his book as much as he can with Amy rocking in the swing beside him. He’s propped himself up against the wall near one of the outlets, a spare pillow behind his back and his glasses perched on his nose as he types. He deletes more than he adds, much to his disappointment.

It does, however, comfort him slightly that his daughter has no idea about his inner turmoil and obvious frustration, content with her swing and simple thoughts. Rey had kindly given him batteries for it, and his daughter swings happily as he works, trying to put her foot in her mouth. He looks at her more than he looks at the screen, if he’s honest with himself, smiling softly at her little giggles. He tries peek-a-boo once, but she’s too distracted by the bouncing turtle above her to take notice of him.

-

**5 months, 1 week and 5 days**  
**Tuesday**

Amy wakes up at 3am Tuesday morning, screaming at the top of her lungs - it’s loud enough that he’s sure half of Bespin can hear her. He launches himself off of the half-deflated air mattress, running into her room. He knows before he even reaches her that it’s gas, the sound of her cry and Daddy-Spidey senses helping him with the cause. It’s rare now that he’s started the milk/cereal mixture with her as well as other more solid foods, but he still scoops her up and hoists her over his shoulder, patting on her back until she burps.

Unfortunately, while it quiets her, it doesn’t get her back to sleep. Instead she mouths at his bare shoulder, and he sighs as he walks out to the hallway, unlocking his door and grabbing his keys just in case as he steps out.

To his surprise, he almost runs right into Rey.

She looks like she vaulted out of bed as well. He stares down at her, eyes wide. Her hair’s free from its usual updos, falling down around her freckled shoulders. He’s unused to seeing so much of her skin, noting the loose tank top, the sweatpants that reveal a strip of tan skin where the waistband and the hem of her shirt don’t cover, and her obvious lack of bra.

He also notes how Amy practically falls towards her, pitching out of his arms and towards Rey. He lets her go, the college girl reaching out instinctively to cradle the little girl to her chest. He watches, a bit lost, as Amy tugs on Rey’s hair, calm but wide awake.

“Gas,” he explains awkwardly. He’s suddenly aware of the fact that he’s shirtless, but Rey doesn’t seem to notice, her brown eyes entirely focused on the baby in her arms. He acknowledges, admittedly not for the first time, that they look like Amy’s in their warmth. He always thought of his as the color of coffee that’s been sitting on a desk for far too long, cold and dull.

If she thinks it’s weird that he’s walking outside the apartment shirtless with an awake Amy, she doesn’t say anything, instead letting the baby tug at her hair wordlessly. She bounces his daughter a bit, and turns to walk down the hallway. Ben watches her as she walks to the end and back, rocking and soothing Amy with soft ‘shushing’ sounds. Hers sound a lot quieter and a lot more calming than the shushes he’s ever made, to his dismay. He bites his bottom lip as she makes the round two more times, the final time returning with a fast asleep babe in her arms.

“How did you do that?” he whispers as she grins at him, victorious. “It takes me three hours sometimes.”

“I know - I can hear you pacing. My bedroom’s right here.” She jerks her head towards the wall next to her, and he’s overcome with embarrassment as he realizes just how often he’s walked by that wall with a fussy - sometimes screaming - Amy.

“Oh my God,” he mutters, running a hand down his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she whispers back before nodding to his door. “I would hand her to you, but I think she likes my tank top,” she explains. He looks down and sees that Amy is clutching one of the straps, the heather-grey fabric victim to her tiny fist. He turns, walking forward and opening the door for them. Rey steps through, still holding his daughter close to her.

He follows them back to Amy’s bedroom, and watches as Rey sets her down in the crib. He leans against the doorway as Rey stays for a few moments longer than necessary, leaning over the crib and talking softly. He can’t make out many words, instead just listening to the calm hush of her accented voice.

Eventually she straightens, having rescued her top from Amy. She grins as she walks over to him, shooing him out of the room so that she can close the door a bit. “She’s fine,” she assures him. “My bets are on her sleeping through the rest of the night.”

He sighs in relief. They were getting better, or rather he was getting better at finding out what plagued his daughter and fixing it one way or another. “Thank you,” he sighs. “It’s getting easier, but it’s still a new place to her.”

“Understandable,” she says. “Where’d you move from?”

“Upstate New York.”

“Small town to big city?”

“Something like that.” She nods, leaning against the wall. He leans against the opposite, their positions mirroring their countertop discussion a few days before. “What brings you to Bespin?” she asks. “I know some about the daughter, but very little about her father.” She tilts her head with something akin to a smirk gracing her pretty lips, a strand of dark brown hair falling into her face. He resists the urge to brush it away, instead watching as she does it herself.

“Job,” he explains curtly. “And … wanting to get away from things. Certain people.”

She stares at him, and he braces himself for a slew of questions. But they never come. Instead, she looks towards the living room. “You really need furniture.”

He follows her gaze to the empty room, boxes still acting as makeshift tables. “IKEA’s a bit difficult to navigate with a five month old. Those flat carts don’t exactly have child seats.”

“I could go with you,” she offers. He hesitates for a moment, unsure. But the idea of actually having furniture in his home is too tempting to ignore. He can picture a home, colorful and bright and thankfully cheap thanks to the Swedish brand. He nods. “If you’d like to.”

“I’d love to. I can even rope in some more hands,” she explains. “My best friends, Poe and Finn. Finn has a pickup truck.”

He’s seriously starting to think that she’s an angel, given to him by some generous deity to make his life better and a hell of a lot easier. He lets out a sigh of relief and nods eagerly. “Yes. Yes, that would be fantastic, thank you.”

“I’ll bring my drill,” she pipes, and he resists the urge to laugh out loud at how eager she looks to be able to construct something. He’s seen some of her sketches, of the way she draws out instructions for the things she designs. It’s no surprise that she’s excited to be able to put something together on her own time.

“Saturday?” he offers.

She nods. “I would offer tomorrow after you get off of work, but I have a test the next morning and I have the feeling this is going to be an all day thing,” she says. “Sorry if it messes up any of your weekend plans…?”

He shakes his head. “No plans.” He has a child, now - any plans of anything that doesn’t involve Amy are out the window. He recalls nights at bars back in New York, heart lonely and tongue tasting of bourbon. He remembers sometimes driving to the big city and losing himself amongst the nightlife, wandering gum-coated pavements. He doesn’t look back on those nights fondly. “Saturday would be great.”

“Great.” She grins at him, looking back at Amy’s room one more time before giving him a small wave. “Well, I’ll see you in the morning?”

“See you in the morning,” he confirms, walking her to the door. Again, he watches until she’s safely in her own apartment. This time he lingers a bit longer, staring at the place where she’d been before returning to his own ‘bed’.

-

**5 months, 2 weeks**  
**Thursday**

He’s surprised his mom managed to not call him every single day. He guesses he has his dad to thank for the small lengths of silence. But he knew she’d call again eventually, and he’s only just put Amy to bed when his phone starts to vibrate against the floor of his bedroom.

He settles down on the air mattress before reaching for the device and answering it. “Hey, Mom.”

“How’s our granddaughter?” she demands as soon as he answers. He sighs, running a hand down his face. “Good,” he says. “She’s doing really well. We’ve started her on solid foods, and she’s starting to sleep through the night more.”

“We?”

Apparently he’s on speakerphone. Fuck. Han sounds incredulous, and Ben can hear Leia shushing him. Ben inwardly curses at his use of the plural pronoun.

“WE?” Han repeats, sounding aghast.

“The sitter,” Ben explains quickly. “My neighbor, Rey. She babysits Amy while I’m at work. She goes to college around here, and her classes are in the evening so she can do it.”

“If you’d told us you were struggling with taking care of her-“

“Mom, I can take care of her on my own,” he insists. “Rey’s just the easier option.”

“But the more expensive one,” his father mutters. Ben can’t deny that, but he says nothing as he hears his mother scoff at Han’s words.

“Those pictures I’ve been sending you?” Ben asks. “Yeah, Rey took them.”

“Did she? She’s a very talented photographer,” Leia says. “They’re adorable!”

“Kid has your ears,” Han pipes. “Tell her I say ‘sorry’.”

“Han.”

“What? It’s true.”

Ben rolls his eyes as his mother continues to scold his father over the phone. “Is there a reason you called?” he sighs, running a hand through his hair again and flipping onto his back. The mattress squeaks and creaks as he does so, and he winces at the loudness of the sounds. He’s hyper-aware of Amy in the other room, but she doesn’t cry out and the baby monitor doesn’t shriek, so he thinks he’s all right.

“I just wanted to know how you were doing,” Leia insists. He can still hear Han muttering in the background. “Do you need us to come down?”

“No, I’m fine,” he mutters. “Though some extra funds to furnish the place would be appreciated. I’m sleeping on an air mattress.”

“There he goes, asking for money.”

“Oh, shut up,” his mother says to her husband. “I’ll transfer some money into your account.”

“Thanks, Mom.” He sighs, relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about budgeting on their trip to IKEA. Amy’s room would come first, of course, but maybe with his parents help he could maybe, maybe afford a couch and a bookshelf as well. Sleeping on a couch might be a bit more comfortable than an air mattress, at the very least.

“Leia-“

“Your father’s hungry,” his mother interjects, and Ben smirks as Han mutters again, something that sounds like ‘unbelievable’. “I’ll call you soon, okay?”

“Okay.”

The series of goodbyes are a bit too long for his taste, but they eventually happen and he hangs up much to his relief. The phone falls from his had to the floor with a clatter and he freezes. Amy whines from her room, and he shifts immediately, on high alert and waiting for her to wake up. Much to his relief, no sound follows the whine.

He allows himself to relax, if only for a moment.

-

**5 months, 2 weeks and 1 day**  
**Friday**

The more pictures he receives, the more he starts to think of it as the ‘Amy and Rey’ folder instead of just the ‘Amy’ folder. There are a few pictures of the both of them now, selfies taken by Rey while Amy’s settled in her lap. His daughter looks more than content to be resting against a chest much cushier than his own, Rey’s slender arms wrapped around her as Amy mouths at her toys.

Occasionally he’ll be sent an out of focus, very random photo taken by Amy herself, her sticky fingers having gotten ahold of Rey’s phone.

Hux sees a picture, once. It’s a cute one of Rey leaning over Amy’s shoulder, Amy’s favorite giraffe toy in the baby’s mouth. There’s plenty of drool on Amy’s end, sure, but both of them are smiling and happy and radiant, in his opinion. Rey has graphite smudged from her drafting stick on her cheek, and he can see some on Amy’s hands as well - probably from Rey guiding her hands away from something she shouldn’t be grabbing.

“Girlfriend?” the redhead asks, smirking as he leans over to get a better look. “Bit young, don’t you think?”

“Sitter,” Ben says, perhaps a bit more snappishly than he intended to.

Hus just continues to smirk, dropping off another stack of papers onto his desk. “I need these done by four. Five, if you absolutely have to spend time staring at your child.”

Ben feels shitty for the rest of the day, and ends up sending a few of the pictures including Rey to the trash. He pulls them out not five minutes later, and puts them in a folder disguised as “Tech”, deeply hidden between the printer and software txt files.

_Bit young, don’t you think?_

-

“Daddy’s home!”

It’s becoming a regular thing, Rey’s calling of “Daddy’s home!” as soon as he opens the door. He’s incredibly grateful it’s Friday as he sets his briefcase by the door, tie already half tugged off by the time he reaches for his daughter.

“Hang on,” Rey warns, reaching a hand out to stop his hands. She holds onto his right hand, stopping him in his tracks. He frowns as he looks at his daughter who’s lying on her back, arms akimbo.

“Why, what’s wrong?” he demands, brain shifting into hyperdrive with worry.

“Nothing! Just watch, she’s so close,” Rey tells him. He notices the pencil in her hair, tucked into one of the three buns she’s taken to wearing. It’s either one or three, but never two, he’d noted.

He tears his eyes away from her when she starts bouncing slightly in excitement, looking back at his daughter. He watches, stunned, as Amy kicks herself over, rocking slightly before finally landing on her stomach, little legs kicking. He stares at her in awe as Rey grins, reaching forward and scooping her up. Amy’s hands immediately reach for the necklace around the student’s neck. Rey wraps her fingers around the chain, keeping it short enough that Amy can’t put the metal in her mouth.

“She did it around lunch time,” Rey explains, letting the baby play with the sealed glass charm, eyes constantly on her fingers just in case. “I’d really hoped she’d do it when you got home, because sometimes it’s kind of a once and done thing, you know? But she’s done it a lot since then.”

He’s smiling too, though he can’t ignore the pang of sadness he feels when he realizes that he wasn’t there for the first time. “She has?”

“Yeah, that was like the fifth today.” She has her hands around Amy’s torso, letting the little girl prop tiny feet on her thighs. Amy giggles brightly as Rey helps her walk up and down her thighs, bouncing her occasionally. “She’s getting pretty good at it, now. So be careful – it’s the next step before she starts becoming mobile,” she warns. Ben watches as she leans back, letting Amy ‘walk’ on her flat stomach. Amy giggles as Rey bucks her hips up, sending her pitching forward slightly - enough for a little thrill.

“Wow,” he says, at loss for any other words as he watches them. Rey’s grinning, playing with his daughter with an ease he wishes he had.

Take care of? That he was good at. But play with?

He suddenly feels lacking next to the 23 year old, watching as Amy lets out a peal of laughter. He settles beside them, not having the heart to tell Rey to go so he could spend some alone time with his daughter. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” he finds himself saying. He hesitates for half a heartbeat before saying, “It’s the least I can do since I was late last week.”

Rey turns her head, looking at him curiously. “Sure, if you’re offering,” she says, lifting Amy again, much to the little girl’s delight. “What were you thinking?” she asks, never taking her eyes off of the baby.

“Pizza?”

“Perfect.”

-

Rey takes it upon herself to walk down to one of the corner stores to get drinks when he revealed that he pretty much only had apple juice, milk, and a small amount of good alcohol given to him by his father, the bottle dusty from lack of use. He sits with Amy in the bedroom, settled into the rocking chair. The pizza’s on the counter in the other room, steaming in its cardboard boxes as he waits for his daughter to fall asleep and the college girl to return.

He lets her coo up at him, his foot on the floor, pushing them back and forth. Her eyes are a lighter brown than his, bright and beautiful. Everything about her simply screams her mother, and he’s spent a good amount of time trying to figure out whether it’s better or worse for his heart that she looks like her. As of yet, he hasn’t decided.

Ben’s startled out of his thoughts when Amy makes a sound that’s a cross between a hiccup and a yawn, and he snorts in amusement. The sound seems to startle her, and she looks up at him in surprise, eyes wide and curious. He smiles softly down at her, lifting her slightly to press his lips to her forehead. “Time to go to sleep, princess,” he tells her. He stands and walks over to the crib, setting her down on the firm mattress. She struggles for a moment, clinging to his hands. He pries his fingers away as easily as he can, resting his hands on the side of the crib and instead watching her. Whereas a week ago she’d fuss, instead she puts her own fingers in her mouth to sate herself. He smiles and strokes her cheek before reaching up to adjust the towel-curtains.

… the towel-curtains that aren’t there anymore.

He frowns as he sees the black fabric that’s replaced them, thick and heavy and very effective at keeping the light out. They’re nothing like his rigged curtains, nicely made and put up securely. He stares at them for another moment, before hearing the door open to the living room.

He gives Amy one last kiss, right on her chubby little cheek, before walking out into the living room again. Rey’s sitting on the counter beside the boxes of pizza, two bottles of Coke beside her as well as two bottles of water. She’s swinging her feet, stopping them just before they’d hit the cabinets below. “Hey, hope this is okay,” she says, offering him one of the Coke bottles as he walks towards her. “I saw the empty bottle in your briefcase on Monday and figured you liked it.”

She’s not wrong. He takes the bottle from her and leans against the opposite counter. “Did you replace my curtains?”

Her smile threatens to split her cheeks. “I was wondering when you’d notice. Yeah, on Wednesday.”

“Why? Did you pay for them? Did you put them up yourself?”

“Because towel curtains look awful and fall down a lot. No, I didn’t pay for them. And yes, I did put them up myself.”

He blinks, the rest of his face emotionless. “… where’d you get them?”

“Poe had them from BB,” she explains, grabbing her own bottle and unscrewing it. Rey holds it over the floor as it hisses. It doesn’t bubble too much, though, and when she’s satisfied with the lack of foam she pulls it back in, putting the bottle to her lips. He watches as she takes a swig of the soda, waiting for her answer. She finishes a moment later, sighing and wiping her lips. “They had them in a back closet, honestly. I thought I’d ask if they still had the blackout curtains, and it turns out they did. Finn brought them over after you left for work on Wednesday morning, and I had her in the swing while I put them up. Don’t worry, she was in the same room.”

“I wasn’t worried.” It’s a flat out lie, and she knows it. He can see her smile around the lip of her soda bottle. “I was just wondering.”

“Think of it as a gift from one parent to another,” she explains, gesturing towards him with the bottle. “Well, a gift from a friend of parents to another parent. BB is 4 now, so he doesn’t really need them anymore. He likes more light now. The kid has more glow in the dark stickers in his room than anyone else I know.”

“Do you know a lot of people with glow in the dark stickers in their room?”

She tilts the bottle in his direction, tilting her head slightly with a knowing grin. “I know me?”

He snorts. He reaches for the pizza box, opening the cardboard and letting the smell of pizza waft through the apartment. The cheese has been given plenty of time to settle, and he’s grateful for it as he reaches for a piece. He’s surprised when her small fingers dart forward and cut him off, taking a piece of pepperoni pizza without a plate. Ben watches her as she cradles the slice with one hand easily, guiding it to her mouth.

“I take it you eat pizza a lot,” he says, smirking as he takes his own piece and puts it on one of the paper plates she’d bought with the drinks. Rey shrugs, her mouth full. He offers her a plate, smirk broadening as she takes it sheepishly. She sets the piece on it, finishing chewing and swallowing.

“I’m a college student. Of course I eat pizza a lot,” she tells him once she can speak again. “Thank you, by the way.”

“It’s the least I can do.” He takes a bite of his pizza, and outright moans. He tries to have a healthy lifestyle, he really does. He brought Amy with him to the market with him on Sunday, filling their basket with fruits and vegetables for the food he’s trying so hard to make by hand for her. But sometimes pizza is needed. After all, he thinks, absence makes the heart grow fonder - or stronger, or whatever it was. Rey’s watching him, amused, as he practically devours his first piece, his fingers left greasy with orange oil.

“… what?” he asks once he’s finished, grabbing a paper towel from the nearby dispenser. She smirks around her own piece.

“Nothing,” she says, still smiling.

They eat in silence after that, the only sound being their soda as it fizzes softly every time one of them takes a sip. She takes one of the boxes, slipping four leftover pieces inside of it as he puts two in the other box. She leaves briefly to slip her box into her fridge, and he takes the time to retreat to his bedroom, fishing out more comfortable clothes from the boxes that have yet to be entirely unpacked. He’d moved the security lock in between the door and the frame so she can get back in without taking his key, and he hears her return as he’s pulling his t-shirt over his head, the door closing behind her.

When he comes back out to the living room, she has one of her sketchbooks in her lap and a pen tucked behind her ear. She’s sitting smack dab in the middle of the room, her back propped up against a few of the boxes containing his books. “Figured we’d make a list of the things we need,” she explains as he settles down across from her. “A bed and a mattress, for one thing. No way in hell are you sleeping on that thing for another month.”

He says nothing as she jots the two words down in neat print. ‘BEN’S ROOM’ is already written at the top, underlined and in caps. “Dresser?” he offers. She nods and writes it down.

“Bedside table?”

She jots that down, too.

It turns into a comfortable little back and forth. Rey shifts often, crosslegged to kneeling to having her legs spread out in front of her. When she spreads her legs out, her feet almost touch his knee. He resists the urge to smile when he sees that her toe nails are now painted bright orange. She finally settles with her knee pulled up, acting as a desk for her sketchbook. The other is stretched out towards him, her toes brushing against the fabric of his sweatpants.

“All right, so we have beds and dressers and living room stuff,” she says, her words slightly muffled from the pen hanging from her lips. “Kitchen.”

“Utensils, plates, and cups,” he says. He watches as she pulls the pen from her mouth and starts writing again. “I have knives in a box somewhere. Organizers, if they have them.”

“It’s IKEA, of course they have organizers,” she mumbles around the pen cap. “Anything else?”

“Desk,” he says.

She looks up at him and grins, jotting it down. “Desk. Bookshelves?” She taps the pen against one of the ‘BOOKS’ boxes currently acting as her back support.

“Bookshelves.”

By the time they have a decent list and the measurements from the notes in his phone back from the open house, it’s past 10. The window in the living room shows a not-so-sleeping city, the streetlights bright and warm. He’s sitting so that his ankles are crossed, his knees bent upwards and elbows resting on top of his knees. She’s changed to sitting crosslegged, though she’s pulled her legs out from under her a few times to wake her feet up again.

“All right,” Rey says, turning a few pages. The list is at least two long. She folds the paper along the perforated line and tears it out as quietly as she can. She offers him the list, reaching across the floor to hand it to him. “That’s a good set of basics, for now. You might be able to get some deals online, too, for some of the more high-end stores out there. But I figure that $17 dollar tables will do for the time being, and you can get the expensive pieces later.”

He nods, dark eyes scanning the list. If there’s something he’s forgotten, it can’t be too important. Amy’s room is the main agenda, in his opinion, and they seem to have everything written down. He notices that very important things are underlined once, twice, or even three times. He smirks a bit when he sees that his bed has been underlined four times, with the high chair underlined three.

“You really don’t want me sleeping on that air mattress,” he teases.

“It can’t be good for your back,” she insists, shifting so that she mirrors his position. “And I doubt you fit on all of it. I bet your feet stick off of it, don’t they?”

“My feet stick off of most beds.”

“Maybe you should stop being so damn tall, then.”

He allows himself a soft snort, shaking his head as he folds the list up. “Thank you.”

Rey shrugs as he stands, shifting and stretching to alleviate the tightness in his muscles. “It’s no problem, really. Finn and Poe are already on board. Do you mind if a rambunctious little boy comes along?”

“Not at all.”

“Then we’re good.” She offers her hands to him. “Help me up?”

He obliges, bending to take Rey's hands. Her left hand’s slightly sweaty from holding the pen for so long, but he doesn’t say anything as he tugs her to her feet. She stumbles slightly, almost right into him, as she gets her bearings again. He holds onto her hands for longer than strictly necessary as she regains the feeling in her legs again.

“Sorry,” she admits, grinning sheepishly up at him. He can count her freckles from how close they are, a little sprinkling of brown dots across her nose and cheeks. There are some on her forehead, too, though not as many. “Feet’re asleep,” she explains.

“It’s fine,” he mutters. He lets go of her hands once she seems to get her balance again, though he lets go reluctantly.

They’re close, too close to be professional. He can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think. She doesn’t seem to have the same problem. She smiles up at him as he looks down at her. It’s a soft, understanding sort of smile as she steps back, gesturing to the list in his pocket. “I’ll be here at 9?”

It takes him entirely too long to respond. He blinks, her words registering dimly in the back of his mind. He finds himself nodding, agreeing to something he didn’t entirely hear.

“Great. Do you have a car carrier? Stroller?”

Again, he nods, this time a bit more aware of what she just asked him. “It’s in the hall closet.”

“Perfect.” She wipes her hands on her jeans before bending to get her things. “See you tomorrow, then.”

“Let me walk you to your door?” The words tumble from his lips before he can stop them. He immediately wants to smack himself on the forehead for his stupidity.

To his surprise, she just smiles.

“Sure, if you want to.” He nods mutely, and braces the security lock against the frame again so he doesn’t have to take his keys. He makes sure that the door will remain open before walking her the ten or so feet down to her door. He suddenly wishes he had her backpack or something to carry for her, to give himself an excuse for why he’s doing this. She unlocks her door as he watches, standing beside her awkwardly. Just before she slips inside, she turns to grin at him. “9?”

“9,” he confirms, nodding.

“I’ll knock on the door,” she explains, still smiling. “Well, good night.”

He thinks he says good night, or something along those lines, before she closes the door. He finds himself standing there for a moment or two before walking back to his own apartment, pulling the security lock back and slipping inside.

The air mattress is slightly deflated when he walks into the bedroom and settles down on it. He resists the urge to groan as he sinks, feeling very much like he’s in some kind of raft on uneasy waters. Maybe Rey’s right about the whole mattress and bed thing.

-

**5 months, 2 weeks and 2 days**  
**Saturday**

He’s not used to dressing her for public. He’s used to dressing her for Rey, who doesn’t criticize him for putting a green onesie with blue pants or pink leggings with yellow and orange mismatched socks. To find an entire outfit is kind of nerve wracking, and Amy ends up in the swing in just a diaper, rocking happily as he stares at the assortment of baby clothes before him.

He practically jumps up when the knock at the door comes. He’s half-dressed, in a white v-neck and dark jeans, just needing the black leather jacket he’d picked out and his shoes. He yanks open the door, blinking helplessly at Rey.

She looks good, he thinks. Her eyes look bigger and warmer than usual, though he can’t even begin to comprehend how she’d made that happen. She’s in a cream-colored henley shirt and skinny jeans, brown leather boots covering her feet and most of her calves. She looks really good.

On top of looking good, she also looks like she’s trying not to crack up.

“I need help,” he admits.

“Clearly. Ever heard of a comb? Your bedhead is downright scary,” she teases as she pushes her way past him into the apartment. “What’s up?”

“I can’t dress her,” he blurts. “I mean, I can, but I have no idea how to put any of the outfits together or what the weather’s like or-“

She pushes against his chest, her hands against his pecs as she pushes him back to the bedrooms. “I’ll take care of that, you go fix yourself.”

He obeys once she’s inside of Amy’s room, heading to his own bedroom. She wasn’t wrong. The hair on the left side of his head is a mess, a testimony to the crappy air mattress and how it makes his pillow slide to the floor most nights. He runs a comb through it, followed by his fingers. He’s halfway through getting his Converse on when he hears giggles from both girls coming from the other room.

“Hold still, wiggle worm, you need pants!”

Amy’s laugh is more like a shriek, and he walks down the hallway with untied shoes. He peers into the baby’s room to see Rey with Amy resting on the floor, little legs moving as Rey tries to get pants on her.

“Ben, come here, hold your daughter,” she orders, and he goes to obey. Amy coos up at him and makes grabby hands towards him as he kneels beside Rey. The distraction’s enough for Rey to wiggle the rest of the pants up, the college girl grinning triumphantly as she reaches for a pair of socks. Once those are on the little girl’s feet, Ben’s allowed to scoop her into his arms and rest her on his hip. Rey watches, somewhat breathless.

“Diaper bag?” she questions, tilting her head. Her hair’s pulled into a messy bun on top of her head, and Ben notices as a few strands escape at the movement.

“Hall closet,” he instructs, and she stands to go get the bag. He watches her go, damning himself for momentarily admiring her ass in the skinny jeans she’s wearing. Instead, he lets his attention drift to his daughter. He balances her on his thighs like he’d seen Rey do, and bounces her up and down slightly. She coos and gurgles, even giggling slightly as he lifts her a bit higher. He grins as she does so, lifting her higher again. He lifts her above his head next, enjoying her shriek of delight.

He can do this, he thinks. He can definitely do this.

“Careful!” Rey warns teasingly as she returns with the bag. She sets it down and packs two spare onesies and two more pairs of pants, along with three pairs of socks just in case. She checks the rest of it, making sure they had enough diapers and other supplies. “Food?”

“There are zipbags in the top drawer to the left of the dishwasher,” he tells her, his eyes on Amy as Rey goes to get food for the little girl. He’s grinning as Amy shrieks again. He’s grateful for the workouts he’d done before she was born, his arms barely straining with the effort of lifting his tiny daughter. He bounces her again before setting her down as Rey walks in. She has the carrier from the hall closet in the one hand; the car attachment’s in the other, Amy’s milk and cereal and a jar of butternut squash mush settled into the seat. “I’ll drive you guys over,” she explains as she puts the food in the diaper bag. “Finn’s going to be taking the pickup truck, and Poe has the minivan.”

“Minivan?” he asks, raising a dark eyebrow as he passes Amy over to be set in the carrier. Rey takes her easily, guiding her into the seat. As soon as Amy starts to fuss at being contained, Rey snags the giraffe from the bag and hands it to the baby. Amy’s sated, the horns of the giraffe immediately going into her mouth.

“Minivan,” Rey repeats as she swings the bag over her shoulder. She’s holding the car carrier piece in her other hand, and Ben assumes that the stroller part is out in the living room. “You got her?”

He nods, rushing to the other room to grab his jacket. He returns to pick up Amy in the carrier, allowing himself a small smile as she wiggles against the restraints. “Stay in there, princess. It’s to keep you safe.”

He doesn’t see Rey’s smile as she stares at the two.

She tosses him his keys as they walk out the door. He thanks his dad for his good reflexes, hand reaching up to catch the keys before they fall into Amy’s carrier. “Watch it,” he warns, and the college girl just grins as they head towards the elevator, her with the car piece, the stroller piece, and the diaper bag.

It’s 9:30 on a Saturday morning, and so the city’s fairly quiet as Bespin mornings go. People are milling about, but there’s a quiet hush over the morning. He assumes that people are nursing hangovers from the night before as they walk down to the garage of the apartment building.

Her car’s a little dull red thing, a case of form following function in that there’s not much form at all. He can tell it’s been fixed a few times, the bumper sanded down and painted over. She has to pull out in order for them to get the carrier in properly, the spaces of the garage tight and narrow. He puts the car half of the carrier in as Rey waits beside with Amy, kneeling on the dirty concrete to entertain the little girl. He hears the older girl’s laughter and nearly turns around, but he’s so close to getting the clasp. It ends up taking him another two minutes anyway, and then Rey takes over. Her smaller fingers get it almost immediately, and yet he somehow can’t bring himself to feel jealous or annoyed, especially not when she tosses a smile over her shoulder.

He opts to sit in the back with Amy as Rey drives. He volunteers his phone for the navigation system, putting in the address of the IKEA and setting it in the cupholder. Amy startles at the sound of the robotic woman’s voice coming from the device, turning her head in an attempt to figure out where the voice came from. Ben chuckles at that, and continues to smile as she does it throughout the ride.

Rey’s not a great driver, but she’s a fairly good one. He bites his lip to keep from laughing as she stops herself from cursing a few times. She does curse under her breath, once, damning the driver from New Jersey in front of her who uses his break a bit too often for her liking. It’s a bit too often for Amy’s liking too, seeing as the jolting back and forth makes her cry out.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Ben says, reaching over to soothe her. She grabs at his fingers, and he offers her a toy with a mirror in it that he’d forgotten was even in the diaper bag to begin with. She’s enchanted by the idea of something shiny and reflective, and plays with the small, plush activity cube. It falls on the floor no less than a dozen times, but he would be a bad father if he didn’t pick it up, wouldn’t he? He can see Rey’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He didn’t believe that eyes could smile until he saw hers, watching him as he picks the cube up yet again and hands it back to his daughter.

IKEA’s a twenty minute drive away, so he spends most of his time entertaining Amy. She doesn’t mind the car – a blessing in his opinion, and ends up dozing for about five out of the twenty minutes. He watches her, sacrificing his jacket when the sun slips through the cracks of the buildings. He drapes it over the side of the carrier, smiling when she stops squinting into the light. As cute as the expression was, little eyes need to be protected. He reaches over and braces his arm across the carrier, keeping the jacket on.

They’re about five minutes from the furniture store when Rey’s phone rings. The sound blares through the speakers, startling Amy. Ben watches as she turns yet again to find the strange sound, her head moving in an attempt to find the source. Rey answers, the car making a ‘bloop’ sound as the call’s picked up.

“Rey?”

“Poe!” There’s a grin in her voice. Ben looks towards Rey. She’s smiling as she glances briefly between the call screen and the road.

“Where are you?” The man’s voice comes through the speakers again, further confusing Amy as she tries to find the man who’s not there. Ben snorts, bending down to kiss her fingers in an attempt to distract her.

“Five minutes.”

“Great. Someone’s –“

“AUNTIE REY!”

Ben jumps as a little boy’s voice crows through the speakers. Amy visibly jolts at the sound.

“… excited to see you,” Poe finishes.

Ben hears Rey laugh from the front seat. “Tell him I’ll be there soon, okay? We’re pulling onto the main road now. Four minutes, tops.”

“You hear that, BB? Four minutes.”

The call cuts out a moment later from Poe’s end, and Ben can hear Rey snickering.

“So BB is his son?” Ben asks, frowning as he tries to put everything together.

“Mhm. BB is four,” Rey explains, looking back at him in the rearview mirror. “BB is Poe’s.”

“Mom still in the picture?”

“Adoption. Think Juno scenario.”

Ben hums, frowning. “And Finn is…?”

“Poe’s boyfriend.”

“I see,” he replies as Amy tries to suckle on his thumb. He lets her, not caring as he meets Rey’s eyes in the rearview mirror. Rey turns ever so slightly to smile at him, but turns right back around when he gestures that the light’s turned green. She turns and pulls into the parking lot, navigating the lanes and shoppers as best as she can.

He sees the family immediately, a dark-haired man standing next to a white-blond-haired child who’s bouncing excitedly as Rey pulls in a few spaces back from them. She barely has time to open her door before the little kid is rushing towards her, barreling into her and nearly knocking her over. Ben snorts as she lets out a soft ‘oof’ as she’s tackled, her lithe arms wrapping around the little boy and scooping him up onto her hip. “Hey, BB!”

“What does BB stand for?” Ben asks as he gets out as well, walking around to Amy’s side of the car to unlatch her.

“Bryce Bennett,” the dark haired male explains as he gets closer. He’s a good deal shorter than Ben, but looks friendly enough in dark jeans, a black t-shirt and what looks like an old military jacket. Ben’s surprised when he sees that the man has some grey at his temples. He would’ve figured that he was Rey’s age, a young father, but no – he looks to be about Ben’s, probably a bit older. The man offers a tan hand, grinning. “Poe.”

“Ben.” He shakes the other father’s hand, looking towards the little boy currently rambling to Rey. She watches in rapt interest, holding him on her hip as he talks to her. “Do I have that to look forward to?”

“And a lot more,” Poe teases. “You need any help getting her?”

“I think I have it.” He reaches down and unlatches her, pulling the carrier out and setting it on the ground for the time being. He reaches across to grab the diaper bag as Poe crouches, grinning down at Amy. Ben watches in surprise as she immediately stops nomming on her giraffe, and instead reaches towards Poe. The other man grins, reaching towards her. She grabs onto his hand and immediately tries to put Poe’s fingers in her mouth.

“Amy, no,” Ben tries, but Poe waves him off with his free hand.

“Don’t worry about it – I kind of missed it,” Poe assures him, grinning even as his fingers are quickly becoming coated in drool. He turns to see what his son’s doing, and Ben watches as the other father’s face immediately hardens into something that’s half annoyed, half amused. He pulls his fingers gently from Amy’s mouth and stands, his hands on his hips. “BB! Rey’s not a tree, and you’re not a monkey.”

Ben looks up to see that the two have somehow contorted themselves into a strange position that ends with BB upside-down and Rey’s arms tangled with his legs. She rights him almost immediately, pulling the little boy around and letting him hook his legs around her waist in a piggy-back position. “I can carry him, really,” she insists, bouncing the four year old and laughing at his shriek of delight. “He’s not that heavy.”

Poe sighs, shaking his head at the two. “You spoil him, you know that?” he asks, before looking towards Ben. “You need any help?”

The new father shakes his head. “I’m all right, thanks.” He swings the diaper bag over his shoulder and opens the trunk, getting the stroller out. He sets it up before picking Amy up and setting the carrier into it, adjusting all the bars and straps and security features so that she’s safe. Once it’s all set, he starts to walk beside Rey and BB with Poe in the lead. Rey occasionally bounces, the little boy on her back laughing brightly whenever he goes a bit higher or a bit lower.

Ben’s focus is on Amy. She doesn’t look too upset to be in the stroller, content with her giraffe and the dangling stroller toys attached to the handle of the carrier.

“Got the list?” Rey asks as they walk in. He’s hit in the face with the smell of the food court, of wood and plastic. He looks up at the large space, glancing briefly towards the available daycare before deciding against it. Between him and Rey, they’ll have Amy covered.

Realizing that Rey asked him a question, he raises one dark eyebrow at her. After she repeats herself, he pulls the list out from his pocket, tilting it at her. “Got it.”

-

Finn meets them a bit into the show room, in the office section. Ben’s kind of surprised at how easily he fits into the little family, slipping in without notice. One moment Poe’s standing with Amy as Ben sits at a desk to try the height, and then the next another man is standing next to Poe and kissing the father’s cheek. “Sorry I’m late – accident on 42nd,” the man mutters.

Ben, in his surprise at Finn’s sudden appearance, ends up banging his knees on the bottom of the desk. Rey stops playing with BB in the next “room” over and instead peeks around the bookshelf to investigate the sound, an amused smile gracing her lips as he grips the tops of his knees in pain.

“Guess you’re too tall for that one,” she teases as he tries to get his long legs out from under the short desk. He stands, albeit with a bit of discomfort, and walks back towards Amy, who seems to be comfortable playing with Poe, her little legs kicking.

He’s not surprised, honestly. The other man’s proven himself to be a good, attentive father already, having caught BB with fantastic reflexes when the kid thought that letting go of Rey entirely was a better way to get down than asking to get off of her back. And besides, he seems to ooze friendliness and trustworthiness, much like Rey. Amy stares up at the other father and his boyfriend with something akin to awe, not used to so many men in one place.

“Ben,” Finn states as the tall man walks over from the showroom, knees still aching a bit. Finn’s smile is warm and inviting as he steps forward and offers his hand to the slightly limping new father.

“Finn,” Ben replies, taking the man’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“You have no idea how much Rey talks about you,” Finn gushes, and Ben feels the top of his ears flush hotly at the realization that Rey talks about him to her friends.

“Does sh-“ he starts to ask, before he’s interrupted by Poe’s soft curse. He looks down to see that Poe’s looking towards the other show room, his fingers still held hostage in Amy’s mouth.

“BB, stop trying to climb the bookshelves!” Poe insists, straightening from where he’d been bent over. “Sorry, hang on, sweetheart,” he tells Amy before he walks over and tugs the four year old from the shelves, setting him back down. “Bryce Bennett, we don’t climb them at home, we don’t climb them here.”

The little kid doesn’t take the reprimand too harshly, nodding before darting around to find Rey who’s wandered into the next office in search of a desk tall enough for Ben’s long legs. Finn’s smiling, shaking his head at the two. “Little rebel,” he says before looking down at Amy. He bends a bit, his face now the same level as hers. She stops chewing on her giraffe and stares at him, rubber hoof resting on her lower lip. Finn’s grin broadens as he extends his large hand towards Amy’s small one. “Hello there, little princess. How are you doing?”

Ben watches as Amy reaches towards Finn’s hand, grabbing at his fingers. He looks more Rey’s age, dressed smartly in dark jeans and a grey button down shirt. Ben’s kind of amused at his white Converse, a complete contrast to his boyfriend’s bright orange pair. Ben stands with one hand protectively on the stroller as Finn continues to play with his daughter. Finn uses the hand not currently being held by her to tap at one of the dangling toys, and her attention’s caught by the swinging turtle character almost immediately. Ben watches as the other man grins, tapping it again.

“Amy, right?” Finn asks, casting a glance up at Ben once Amy’s attention is off of him. The new father nods, looking down at his daughter. “Rey’s told me a lot about her. Tells us all the time about how sweet she is.”

“Thank you?” Ben offers, not entirely sure how to respond to a compliment like that. Finn just grins, continuing to interact with Amy. She’s taken with his large fingers, continuing to attempt to put them into her mouth.

“Ben! C’mere!” He turns, raising an eyebrow as Rey beckons him over with a wave of her hand. He looks towards Poe, who’s walking back from getting his son in order - the endeavor seemed to be successful, at least for a moment. The kid’s running around through the desks, hopping onto one of the rolling chairs and giggling as it rolls with the force of his jump, but at least he’s staying in one area.

“Do you mind-?” Ben asks the other father as he comes to stand next to the stroller, nodding down towards Amy. “I think Rey’s found something.”

Poe shakes his head. “Not one bit.” He bends to press a kiss to Finn’s cheek. The younger man straightens up from being bent over the stroller, and the three men walk over to where Rey and BB are standing, Ben pushing his daughter over. Amy continues to make grabby hands at Finn and Poe, the two following behind.

“How about this one?” Rey sits down at a dark desk with an extra panel off the side. “Think. Printer, or something,” she says, putting her hand on the extra little space. “… rest of your stuff.”

He checks the price tag of it, and the measurements. Compared to some of the other desks, it’s not bad price wise, and it’ll fit in the back corner of the living room well without taking up too much space. He nods his agreement, jotting down the number next to the written ‘desk’ on the list.

“How about this one?” Poe asks, walking past Ben. The new father looks up, still bent over, to see the other man walking towards a light pink desk with metal filigree legs, obviously designed with a little girl in mind as it’s significantly shorter than the rest of the desks around it. Poe smirks, putting his hand on the pink surface. “What about it, Ben? Want to slam out some work on this thing?”

“I like it!” BB insists as rushes back over. Rey catches him before he can go tripping over something, swinging her onto her hip with practiced ease. “It’s pretty!”

“That it is,” Poe says, all teasing gone. “Maybe I’ll get it for you when you’re a big boy and have homework to do?”

“What’s homework?”

“You don’t want to know,” Ben tells him, before pulling out his phone and taking a picture of the tag just in case. He walks over to the wall of desk chairs, gravitating towards one of the sleeker but also more expensive chairs with a high back. He sits down in it, and is surprised when his head actually hits the back of it instead of dipping back like with most chairs. “… I like this one.”

“BB liked that one too,” Rey tells him, setting the little kid down. “Good spinning ability.” She walks over and smiles down at him. “Want me to take a picture of the tag?”

“Please.” He offers his phone to her. He’s about to tell her the passcode when she taps it in, squatting down to take a good picture of the tag. “You remembered my passcode?” he asks, remembering vaguely back to the first day, when he’d yelled it over his shoulder in his haste to get to work on time. “Yeah, it’s her birthday, right?” she says simply, straightening and handing his phone back to him. And then she’s off to get BB who’s being spun in a cherry red chair by Finn, shriek-y childish laughter echoing through the showroom.

Ben stares after her.

-

“Remember, no jumping on the beds!” Finn calls as he walks beside Ben, the taller of the two pushing Amy into the show room containing the beds and mattresses. “That goes for all three of you!”

Ben can’t imagine A+ Father Poe jumping on the furniture, but judging from the disappointed look he casts back at Finn, it’s a very real issue. “How long have you and Poe been together?” he asks as he pushes Amy.

“About four years,” Finn explains, reaching over to tap at the turtle again. Amy gurgles, and the man smiles. Ben stops the stroller next to a few beds, where they’re out of the way. He stands beside it as Finn continues to entertain his daughter.

A tap at his elbow has him turning after a moment of watching the two. He looks down to see Rey, and he stares as she slips her hand through the crook of his arm and starts to tug him away. “C’mon, you need to pick out a bed and a mattress,” she explains, jerking her head towards the several beds spread out across the showroom floor.

“I’ll take care of her,” Finn insists, his eyes never leaving the little girl even though he’s speaking to her father.

Ben nods, and lets himself be led away by his sitter/neighbor/friend. She waits until they reach the mattresses before pushing him down onto one of the firmer ones. He immediately groans, spreading out a bit as he lets himself relax. So much better than his half-deflated air mattress. “Is this what a bed’s supposed to feel like?” he asks, opening one eye to look up at her. He frowns when he realizes that she’s not standing beside him, like he’d thought, but then looks to his left when he feels the bed dip.

She spreads out beside him, turning onto her side and propping her head on her elbow. “Yes, Ben,” she teases, grinning down at him. “This is what a mattress that isn’t full of air feels like.”

He feels his heart skip a beat at her so close. “Is it really?” he teases right back. “It’s so comfy I might fall asleep right here.”

“Don’t you dare, Ben Solo.”

He yelps as there’s a sudden weight on his chest that’s definitely too light to belong to Rey but too heavy to belong to his daughter, and looks down to see a child on his chest. “… Hello?” he asks, blinking down at BB who’s decided that Ben’s a good climbing structure.

“Hi!” BB replies, all bright and cheery and girnning.

“Oh, heck, sorry,” Rey apologizes, reaching over to grab the kid. Ben’s jostled slightly as BB is tugged over his torso. Rey settles the kid on her stomach instead, grinning at him as he lies on top of her. “Hello there.”

“Hi!” the little boy chirps back. Ben can see that one of his lower teeth is missing, the next one growing in after it. His sweatshirt matches his older father’s shoes - bright orange with Luke’s helmet from Star Wars on it. He kicks his little feet, nearly hitting Rey in the shin a few times.

“You’re heavy,” Rey tells him.

“No, I’m not!” Bryce insists.

“Yes, you are,” Rey says teasingly. “Why don’t you go pick out what bed you think Mister Ben should get, huh?”

“Okay!” Rey lets out an ‘oof’ sound as she’s kicked by his trainer as he wiggles off of her. Ben snorts at her face of discomfort, but notices she smiles as BB darts away on his mission. She turns to look at him once Bryce is completely gone. Ben realizes with sudden clarity that if he moved his hand just an inch to the left, their fingers would be brushing.

“So, this one?” she asks, as if it was totally normal for them to be lying here on a mattress, together, in the middle of IKEA. “Or do you want to try others?”

“This one,” he affirms, and to his disappointment his response results in her standing from the mattress. She holds out her hand and he lifts his hips, pulling his phone from his back pocket and putting it in her hand. Again, she takes a picture of the tags, and reads him the number so he can write it physically on the list.

“They might have to deliver this one, but who knows?” she asks as he stands, tucking the pen in the pocket of his t-shirt and the list back into his other back pocket. She hands him his phone as he walks around to meet her.

Ben can see BB running towards Rey, and opens his mouth to warn her a second too late. Rey yelps, pitching forward as BB clasps both arms around her legs. The new father reaches forward to help her get her balance, but she manages it herself and laughs as BB starts bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I found a bed for Mister Ben!”

He watches as her face splits into a mischievous smirk. “C’mon,” she says, jerking her head towards where BB is pointing. “Wanna bet on whether he picked a kid’s bed or not?”

-

He ends up entertaining the little kid (and Rey) by attempting to fit his form into the kids’ beds. Finn snorts from where he’s standing with Poe and Amy, and Poe almost busts a gut when they realize that even his ass hangs off the edge of most of the beds. It’s a strange sight to be sure - and one they now have photographic evidence of, thanks to Rey.

It ends up being her turn to pull him up now, small hands grasping his large one in an attempt to yank him up from the pink bed. He chuckles softly as she stumbles backwards with the weight of him, smiling at her before walking back over to where Amy’s now fussing. Poe’s taken her out from the stroller and is holding her, but it’s obvious it isn’t him that she needs. Ben reaches over to take her and she calms almost immediately, curling into his chest as he shushes her and presses a kiss to the top of her head. Poe takes the stroller for him, and pushes it into the kitchen section with Ben bouncing Amy slightly in his arms.

Rey follows BB as he pretends to be an X-wing pilot, zooming through the kitchens laid out for inspiration. She’s stopped playing with him for the time being, instead just following along to make sure that he doesn’t destroy anything. Ben’s list and phone have been surrendered to her, and she points to things that Ben might want for the apartment before taking pictures of them. He’s not picky, really, picking light wood that won’t show scratches or dings too much as Amy ages and starts to get into things.

Amy’s in his arms as he walks into the example kitchen that looks most like his with its light wood cabinets. He looks up at some of the decorations, humming at the ‘example’ children’s drawings that are held between brightly-colored magnets and the show fridge. They’re here for big pieces of basic furniture, yes, but maybe he could pick up a potted plant or some tea towels while they’re here as well to home-up the apartment a bit.

He looks down as his daughter starts fussing again, wiggling in his arms. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothes, trying to get her to calm down. But it’s apparently too much with all the other customers walking about, and she looks about ready to break down. He presses his lips to her forehead in an attempt to soothe her to no luck.

“Want me to take her?”

He turns to see Rey leaning against the archway that leads into the next model kitchen over, her arms crossed over her chest with his phone in one hand and the list in the other. She sets both on the counter, reaching out towards Amy who’s immediately sated by Rey’s smile. He lets Amy go, watching as Rey disappears through the archway again with his daughter in her arms. He grabs his phone and the list and follows her around to the other kitchen; it’s a dark, steel-filled room with blacks and dark browns throughout. It appeals to him, but Rey doesn’t seem impressed, moving right through to the next kitchen. She grins as she finds Finn and Poe.

“Honey, don’t look now, but there’s a stranger in our kitchen,” Poe teases as Ben comes around the corner. BB moves to go tackle Rey again, but Finn catches him by the back of his pants. “Not while she’s holding the baby,” he warns.

“Can I see her?” BB asks, looking up at the small girl in Rey’s arms.

Rey looks towards Ben for permission. The new father nods, and Rey crouches down to let BB get a look at the five-month old. BB frowns as he looks at Amy, and then towards Ben. “Why doesn’t she have dark hair like you?”

“BB-“ Poe says warningly, but Ben just shakes his head.

“Her hair will probably get darker as she gets older, but it may look like her mommy's,” he explains patiently. “She got her mommy’s hair, and nose, and eyes. But she got my ears.”

“But her ears are smaller than yours?” BB asks, frowning. “You have big ears!”

Poe groans and turns to hit his head against the nearest hard surface, which happens to be a stainless steel fridge. Finn just pats his boyfriend’s shoulder awkwardly, not tearing his eyes away from the trainwreck that’s unfolding.

Ben just smiles sheepishly as Rey stands again, cradling Amy to her chest. “It’s fine, really,” he mutters. “I know I have big ears, just like Dumbo,” he says as he looks back down at the little boy.

BB blinks in confusion. Ben looks back up at the boy’s parents, raising one dark eyebrow at their apparent lack of Disney education.

Finn just shrugs. “Frozen and Tangled, so far,” he replies. “With a lot of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and some Star Wars.”

“Disgraceful,” Ben mutters darkly, much to Rey’s amusement as she snorts so hard it surprises the baby in her arms. Amy whines softly, fist going to her mouth.

“I think she’s hungry. Food court for lunch, and then pick up the actual furniture after?” Rey offers, glancing towards Ben.

The new father nods, extending his hands to take his daughter. “Good with me,” he replies as he holds her to his chest. She calms, still trying to suck on her fist. Rey takes the stroller as Poe and Finn walk with BB between them, one hand each. BB swings slightly, shrieking in peals of laughter when Poe and Finn count down, resulting in the kid being lifted up between the two.

“How’d you meet them?” Ben asks, Rey walking beside him.

“Finn’s a photography major at my school,” she replies simply. “He came in to take some pictures of the freshman class and was interested in the bike I was working on. He spent two more hours there than he should’ve.”

Ben snorts; though, honestly, he can understand why. Rey’s captivating, at least in his opinion. He can imagine losing two hours in her company is incredibly easy. “And Poe?”

“Package deal,” she replies. “Finn had met Poe two weeks earlier. They were seeing each other a little bit – it didn’t really start to get serious until over the winter holiday when Finn joined them for Christmas.”

“Cute,” Ben offers, watching as the couple swing the kid again. Perhaps he’s overly protective and too nervous as a new parent, but his heart stills every time BB looks like he’s about to tip backwards. “They’re good together.”

“Damn right they are,” Rey says, much to Ben’s amusement. She guides the stroller to one of the tables near the windows, putting the lock on so that it doesn’t go anywhere. She then reaches for Amy. “I’ll take her while you get lunch.”

“I can wait,” he offers, handing her his daughter. He pulls out one of the chairs for her since she has her hands full of Amy, and she casts him a grateful smile as she sinks into it, holding Amy on her lap. He bends to grab the diaper bag, setting it on the table and rummaging through for her food. “You hold her, I’ll feed her? She can’t sit up quite on her own yet.”

“I know. Sounds good,” Rey replies, turning Amy around so that she’s leaning back against the student’s chest. She reaches for a bib, decorated with a monkey and the saying ‘Go bananas!’ as Ben grabs the jar of butternut squash mush and pops it open, rummaging in the bag for his daughter’s soft-coated spoon. Rey holds the baby in her lap as Ben takes a small bit of the yellow mush and guides it to her mouth.

“I don’t understand why she likes this stuff,” Ben mutters, watching as his daughter takes the food eagerly, some already dropping onto the monkey bib.

Rey just laughs and reaches into the bag for a cloth, wiping the baby’s face as Amy accidentally lets some spill through her lips, the food moving down her little lower lip. “You’ve tried it?” she asks, glancing towards him.

“Of course,” he replies. “I wanted to know what my daughter was tasting. Let me tell you, it wasn’t fantastic.”

Rey smiles as Amy squirms slightly, trying to get comfortable in her arms. “Have you started her on any other solids?”

“Just the cereal and butternut squash so far, avocado here and there,” he replies. “She doesn’t like the cereal very much, but she’ll take it occasionally. I figure I’ll ask Mom when I can start her on the rest of the mush. I heard you start with other vegetables first.”

“Because once you go sweet, you never go back,” Rey explains. “BB only ate the peaches and sweet potatoes for a good two weeks before they finally forced something green into him.”

Ben reaches forward to wipe some mush from his daughter’s cheek, absentmindedly wiping his thumb on his jeans afterwards. “How old was BB when you met him?”

“About two months,” Rey replies, eyes still on the baby in her arms. “Poe met Finn pretty soon after BB was adopted.”

“How soon?”

“A month,” the student replies, stroking the top of Amy’s head as the baby continues to eat. It’s a messy process, even as careful as Ben is with guiding the food into her mouth.

“It was love at first sight,” Poe teases as he comes back with two trays of food. Finn has BB on his hip, walking back from the register. “Wasn’t it, pookie?”

“Pookie?” Finn asks, making a face as he sits the kid down on one of the chairs. Ben smirks at the pet name. “Call me that again and you’re sleeping on the couch in the game room.”

It’s Poe’s turn to make a face. “Noted,” he mutters, still standing as Finn sits down next to BB, reaching over to start cutting the chicken nuggets they’d gotten. “What do you two want to eat? I’ll get it.”

“I’ll get it, really,” Ben says. “I just need to get this one fed first,” he says, jerking his head towards Amy. “We’re a quarter of the way through the jar, it shouldn’t be too long now.”

Poe finishes his sip of soda before continuing to watch. “She’s five months, right? Rey said she’s turned over onto her stomach.”

“Unfortunately,” Ben admits. “It’s making changing her a little more difficult.”

“Wait until they start running,” Finn offers around a mouthful of Swedish meatball.

“And discover that they don’t like pants,” Poe mutters wryly, glancing towards his son who’s happily munching on his chicken nuggets. Ben chuckles, returning to feed his daughter. She pushes the food out with her tongue almost immediately afterwards, Rey laughing as Ben dives to catch the food before it hits her bib. “All right, all right, I get it, you’re done for the moment,” he mutters.

Rey helps the little girl sit up a bit more, lifting her and letting Amy’s little feet brace against her thighs. “You were hungry, huh?”

Poe drops his fork and knife and reaches for her. “Give her to me, I’ll watch her while you and Rey get food.”

“What if I want to hold her?” Finn asks, glancing towards his boyfriend.

“Too bad,” Poe replies. Ben just laughs and nods at the older man. Rey stands and walks around to the other side, offering Amy to the father. Poe takes the little girl and grins brightly. “Hi there, princess,” the older man coos, Amy staring wide-eyed back at him before she offers him a soft smile. “Hey, look at that!”

“You might not get her back now,” Rey warns Ben teasingly. “Think you can burp her for us? If she needs it, I mean."”

“Yeah, of course,” Poe replies, Finn reaching across the table for a cloth to drape across the older man’s shoulder. “You guys get food, we’ll be fine.”

Rey just nods, grinning at Ben before jerking her head towards the food line. “C’mon, before the lunch rush comes in.”

He nods back, following her to the line. She hands him a tray before grabbing one for herself. “So,” she asks, as they’re waiting in line to get their food. “What do you think of Poe and Finn?”

“They seem great,” he offers after he asks for the meatballs, standing next to her and watching as the server starts to make his plate. “Poster gay parents. Poster parents regardless of sexual orientation, actually.”

She laughs, the sound bright and easy, and he watches as she reaches up to grab her plate. He notices she’s grabbed a chocolate cake too, positioned on the corner of her tray. “Aren’t they?” she asks. “Seriously, they’re so cute I want to throw up sometimes.” She makes a gagging sound, and Ben chuckles softly as he grabs his plate.

“You should’ve seen them at first, though,” she says, grabbing a fountain drink cup to fill and a packet of cookies on the way to the register. She reaches over to plop a cup onto his tray as well. “Finn was completely oblivious.”

“Was he?” Ben asks.

“You’d think Poe biting his lip every time he saw Finn would be a pretty big clue, but apparently not,” Rey says, reaching up to grab utensils for the both of them.

They’re in line to pay when there’s a tap on Ben’s shoulder. He turns, startled, and looks down to see a middle-aged blonde woman standing beside him, grinning brightly. Rey peers around his shoulder, confused as well.

“So sorry,” the woman offers, holding both hands up as he stares at her, confused. “I just – I saw your family, over by the window? And your daughter is downright adorable.”

Ben blinks. He’s never gotten that she’s adorable before. Well, he has, but back in New York it was accompanied by a soft, pitied gaze and hesitant smiles. The woman in front of him is giving him neither, all bright eyed and bright smiled. “O-oh, thank you,” he says, stuttering softly in his embarrassment.

“She looks just like you,” she says, and it’s in that moment he realizes that she’s talking to Rey, since his daughter looks absolutely nothing like him. His eyes widen, and he glances back towards Rey to find she has the same expression of surprise, her eyes flicking to him before looking back towards the woman.

“Oh, I’m not the mother,” Rey explains quickly, and Ben can see her cheeks starting to flush as she offers the woman an awkward smile. “I’m just the babysitter, came along to help.”

“Oh!” the woman says, eyes going wide. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s all right,” Ben soothes, giving her the best smile he can in a situation like this. “Thank you. That’s very kind.”

The woman just nods, smiling at him with red cheeks before hurrying away back to a table with an older man who’d been watching the encounter. Ben offers a hesitant wave before turning back to the register. Rey’s apparently shell-shocked, because she doesn’t even protest when Ben offers his card to the cashier and gestures to both of their trays.

“Huh,” Rey says, on the way to the drink dispenser. “… do you think she looks like me?” she asks, reaching up to fill the cup with ice and Coke.

“Well, she looks nothing like me,” Ben mutters, filling his with Diet Coke. “It’s not surprising she drew that conclusion. Her hair color’s much closer to yours than to mine.”

Rey’s quiet for a moment, struggling to balance the heavy drink on her tray. Ben wordlessly takes it and puts it on his, the weight now balanced. “I’m sorry,” she finally offers when they’re on the way back. “I didn’t even realize that people would think that. I shouldn’t have come.”

Ben nearly stops in his tracks, almost tripping over his own feet. “What?” he asks, glancing down towards her. “No, you’ve been a huge help. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you here. You made sure I bought a mattress, and a bed. If it was just Finn and Poe, I can’t promise that I wouldn’t have bought out the entire kids department instead.”

She smiles at that, walking back towards their table. Poe’s apparently finished burping Amy, and Finn now has her, holding her and playing with her. The older of the two men is frowning at them as they return to their seats. “What did that woman say?” he asks, leaning forward.

“She assumed that Rey was the mother,” Ben explains simply as he sits down, grabbing Rey’s drink and putting it back onto her tray. She accepts it with a quiet, nearly whispered, “Thanks.”

“Oh, shit,” Poe breathes as Ben takes a sip of his soda, and the new father’s eyes widen as they dart to the four year old currently playing with two matchbox cars on the end of the table.

“Papa! Language!” BB scolds, and Ben nearly snorts his soda from his nose at the kid’s look of scorn towards his father.

“I know, baby, I know,” Poe replies, trying to hide a smile. “Papa won’t curse again.”

Seemingly satisfied with the answer, the kid returns to playing as Ben tries to drink normally again. The couple across from him are looking at him with concern. He nearly frowns, unfamiliar with the expressions they’re giving him. Pity, he knew, but downright concern? From his parents, yeah, but not from others. “You all right?” Poe asks. “I mean, I don’t know what happened, but –“

“It’s fine,” Ben replies softly. “I don’t mind. It might be a bit better, you know? It looks more normal than a single dad.”

Rey’s pushing her meatballs across her plate awkwardly. “Are you sure?” “Positive,” he mutters, trying to ignore the fact that his heart is beating a mile a minute at the idea that people assumed Rey was Amy’s mother. In all honesty, she could be with her looks; her smile’s certainly warmer than his, and her eyes are a lot more close to Amy’s in color than his are. Not to mention the obvious hair color. Amy’s is far from black, and while Rey’s is dark, it’s still much lighter than his. He casts a glance towards the sitter, who’s since started eating. “… do you mind?”

She nearly chokes, and he instinctively reaches out for her in case she needs help. But she manages herself, and then looks at him with wide eyes. “No!” she insists quickly. “I mean, not really,” she adds. “They’re only assuming, right? No harm done in that.”

“Right,” he replies. “Right.” He nods, feeling the tips of his ears burn bright as he looks back down to his meal, shoveling a spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. When he looks up next, Rey’s eating, Finn’s busy with Amy, and Poe’s looking directly at him.

He swallows nervously, looking back at the older father who just smiles and turns back to playing with the five-month old in his boyfriend’s arms.

-

They can’t get the entirety of what he buys into the pickup truck, as much as they may try. They get some of the smaller items and boxes into the back of the minivan, and Rey’s car. The rest will be shipped that night to the apartment, and again Ben’s grateful that they have a working elevator.

“Want us to stop by and help put some things together?” Poe offers, securing Bryce into the car seat of the minivan. They managed to get Ben’s bed, Amy’s new crib and two of the dressers into the back of the pickup truck with plenty of strings and a few bungee cords that Poe had thought to bring along. “We can probably get Jess to watch BB tomorrow, if you want.”

Ben just shrugs as Rey helps put Amy back into the car carrier. “If you’d like. I’ll buy pizza.”

“And I’ll bring drinks,” Poe offers, looking towards Rey. “You putting anything together tonight?”

“Ben’s bed,” Rey declares as she pulls back, Amy now secure in the car carrier. “And potentially one of the dressers so that he can actually put his stuff away.”

“In my defense, I didn’t have hangers before this trip,” Ben protests.

“No sympathy,” Rey says flatly, before reaching around to hug Poe. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You’re helping, too?” Poe asks, hugging her tightly.

“Of course!” she insists. “Someone has to build while Amy’s taken care of.”

Ben can’t argue with that, though he feels awful that she’s given up her weekend to help him. “I can do it myself,” he offers softly. “I just need the tools, if you have them.”

“I’m helping whether you want me to or not, Solo,” Rey threatens as she lets Poe go. “We’ll see you back at the apartment. Remember, same building as mine, 404.”

Poe salutes her, grinning before walking around to the driver’s side of the minivan. Ben can barely see BB playing with his matchbox cars through the tinted windows, but he offers a wave to the kid anyway. The little boy waves back, and Ben can just see his gap-toothed smile.

“Cute kid,” he says as he slides in beside his daughter.

“He’s a sweetheart.” Rey starts up the car, and waves to Poe as the other father lets them out first. “A little bit of a loner sometimes, but a sweetheart. Loves his father to death, barely leaves his side.”

“I can understand why. Poe’s good with him.”

“Not bad for coming into it having no idea what he was doing, right?” Rey pulls back onto the main road, knowing how to get back to the apartment from there. Ben’s quiet, reaching over to let Amy play with his fingers. He can’t help but think of himself in regards her words; he has no idea what he’s doing either.

He glances towards Rey in the rearview mirror.

No idea what he’s doing at all.

-

“Where’s the screwdriver?”

“To your left.”

He accidentally reaches around to the right, mind focused more on the directions than anything else. “Where?”

“Your other left.”

“Oh.” He turns the other way and finds the tool next to his thigh. “Okay, good. What’s next?”

Rey leans over, looking at the directions that they have spread between them. She has one hand pushing at Amy’s little bouncer seat, the other on the paper as she tries to find the step they’re on. “What are we on, 16?”

“18.”

“Okay, so I’m going to do what?”

“You’re going to take this big piece – “ she says, tapping a the last side of the crib. “And you’re going to put it on top, and then screw it in with four of these.” She picks four screws from the assorted piles she’d split the supplies into, and puts them in his hand.

They don’t have too much left to do, admittedly. The crib itself is almost done; she put the drawers that go beneath it together about a half hour ago, and they’re lying in wait to be slipped beneath the crib itself. The mattress is already nearby, ready to be put in and slept on.

Ben looks down at the pages of directions and follows them, finishing securing the side of the crib. He locks everything in place, screws the feet to the bottom and crawls backwards to look at his handiwork. His jeans and t-shirt are dusted with wood dust and bits of Styrofoam from the packaging, but he has to admit that the crib doesn’t look half bad. It’s far from the fancy crib he’d envisioned, with its pink and painted walls and princess-vibe, but he knows that the simple white crib will serve him well. He glances down towards where Rey’s watching him.

“Help me tip it up?” he asks, getting to his feet. Rey stands as well and they guide the crib upright. He pushes it to where her previous pop-up crib had been and grins, hands on his hips as Rey comes to stand next to him.

“Congratulations, you have furniture,” she says, patting him on the shoulder. “Now time for your bed.”

“I need something to drink, first,” he replies, glancing down at where Amy’s trying to put her foot in her mouth. He smiles softly, bending to sweep her up into his arms. She coos up at him, hands immediately moving to his hair as he smiles and presses a kiss to the top of her downy hair. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Water or Coke?” Rey asks, getting the crib mattress from its place on the floor and slipping it into the crib. “We can put her down for her nap and put the bed together while she’s asleep.”

“Coke,” he replies, bouncing his daughter in his arms. She gurgles in an imitation of a laugh, and he grins as he props her on his hip. “You can grab whatever you want.”

“On it,” the college student says, saluting him before she leaves to walk towards the kitchen.

Ben bends to press a kiss to his daughter’s chubby cheek. “Look at that, sweetheart,” he mutters. “You have a crib now. A real, solid crib. With drawers for things.” He reaches forward with his leg, using his socked toes to pull one of the drawers out. She seems mesmerized by the movement, and he grins as he pushes it back in. “Neat, huh?”

“You know what will be cooler?” Rey asks, walking back into Amy’s bedroom with two bottles in her hands.

“What?”

“When her Daddy has an actual bed,” Rey coos, grinning as she pecks Amy’s cheek. The baby makes a soft cooing sound before resting her head on her father’s chest, eyes slipping shut. “Someone’s tired.”

“It’s been a long day,” Ben replies, moving to set his daughter down. Rey checks to make sure the mattress is secure before he puts Amy on it, and he watches her squirm for a few moments. He looks up as the lighting in the room dims, and sees Rey adjusting the black-out curtains. She also turns off the white floor lamp she’d put together, casting the room in almost-total darkness, the light from the hallway the only source.

“Night, babe,” Ben mutters, bending to press a kiss to his daughter’s head. She squirms, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. He smiles, stroking her chubby cheek with the back of his finger before walking out. Rey’s waiting for him at the doorway, arms crossed over her chest and shoulder braced against the frame as she watches them.

“Finn tugged the boxes into your room, right?” she asks as Ben pulls the door shut, grabbing the baby monitor and hooking it to his belt for safekeeping.

“Both the bed and the headboard boxes should be in there,” he explains.

“Good.” She walks in front of him, down to where his bedroom is. “This might take a while.”

The mattress is propped up against one of the walls, the boxes for the bed, headboard, and his dresser. The suitcases and boxes containing his clothes and other things have been shoved aside to sit next to the bags of hanger and organizers he’d bought at the store as well.

He opens the bed frame boxes first, handing the hardware and the instructions to her for sorting and reading. He pulls out the pieces, grunting a bit at their bulkiness. They’re not particularly heavy, to him, but their size makes them hard to manage.

“Step 1?”

“Step 1 is to wait until I figure out what Step 1 is,” Rey replies, looking at the directions. “These are awful.”

“IKEA is Swedish for ‘fuck this shit’,” Ben deadpans as he bends to take the paper from her. “No, I get it.”

“Good, what do you need?”

They make a good team. Amy’s noisemaker helps to drown out the sound of Rey’s hammer, though Ben has to admit what should’ve taken two strong hits takes about fifteen moderately soft hits in their effort to be as quiet as possible. Ben helps her lift the heavier and larger pieces into place, but lets her do most of the building since there’s no baby to entertain. He just sits beside her and hands her the hardware she needs.

“Okay, long silver thingy.”

“Rey, there are about ten different kinds of those.”

She holds up a screw, long and thin.

“Long silver thingy coming up. How many?”

“Four.”

He grabs three more in addition to the one she already has and hands them to her. “We make a good team.”

“You’re better than a lot of my partners at school,” she mumbles as she screws them in, securing the last side of the frame before they slip the wooden slats in. She taps the side of it to check its sturdiness before pushing up off of her knees to grab the slats. “They always want to do their thing, their idea.” “

What are your ideas?” he asks, handing her one of the slats.

“Thanks,” she says, taking it from him and slipping it into the frame, pushing it up towards the head of the bed. “I want to do sustainable industrial design. Things made from reusable parts, or found objects.”

“That sounds awesome.”

“It is, sometimes,” she admits. “But others just want the new, shiny things. It makes it easier for projects, yeah, but I hate being wasteful.”

He slips a slat in beside hers. “I’ve seen some of your designs in the photos that you send. They look … “ he says, searching for the right word to use. They’re amazing, to be sure, but he’s not sure what she wants to hear.

“Complicated?” she asks.

“Well, yeah, but not what I meant.” He hands her another wooden slat. She slides it into place before getting another one.

“What do you do? I just realized I never asked.”

“Publishing,” he explains. “Starkiller Publishing Company. We just moved from New York.”

“So you’re a publisher or an editor?” she asks, settling another slat into place and standing, putting her hands on her hips.

“Agent, technically,” he replies. “With the merger we’ll be getting more employees soon, but for now it’s Hux, Phasma, and myself.”

“So you read books and decide if they’re good enough to be published?” she questions as he sets down the last slat for that side of the bed. He starts on the next, aligning it in the track.

“I’d much rather be writing the books,” he mutters, toeing the slat into place.

“Why don’t you?”

“It’s not that easy,” he replies as she starts to drag the mattress over. “Writing takes a lot of time, and effort, and with Amy-“

“You don’t have that time,” she says, scooting the mattress along the floor. He finishes putting the last slat in and guides the mattress into the frame, grinning as it hits the wooden slats with a ‘thunk’. “Well, you may not have time, but at least you have a bed!”

“Thanks to you,” he replies. “I’d be sleeping on that air mattress until my parents came down to help me.”

She walks over to the bottles of Coke still by the directions, grabbing them and holding his out to him. “They in New York?” she asks, a bit breathless from lugging the mattress. Ben watches as she downs another quarter of the bottle, licking her lips free of soda. Her cheeks are flushed pink and she’s grinning as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Still in New York, yeah,” he replies. “What next?”

“Well, I was thinking headboard, or-”

Amy cries from the next room over to be taken out, and Ben groans as the sound comes through the monitor, significantly more shriek-y and crackled. “Or we could go take care of her,” Rey finishes.

-

As far as furniture, they don’t get much done. They get his bed, her highchair and her crib, but as far as the rest of it, they have a while to go. Ben looks at the boxes, both from their move and their shopping trip, and leans back against the kitchen counter. He managed to sweat through his white t-shirt, and has downed about three glasses of water as Rey bends and feeds Amy.

“You deserve a raise after this,” Ben mutters, taking another sip of water as Rey tries to get Amy to eat the milk/cereal mix Ben had made. Amy gurgles again, and more slips down her chin and onto the pink bib the sitter had secured around her neck.

“Ben, you were using boxes as a coffee table and an air mattress for a bed,” Rey replies as she uses the spoon to scoop mush up from Amy’s chin. “I’m happy to help.”

“The rest should be coming tomorrow, with Poe and the delivery,” he explains.

“And we’ll be there to help,” she insists. “But you’re buying pizza.”

“Pizza for lunch, Chinese for dinner?” he asks.

“My stomach’s going to hate me, but heck yes,” Rey says, throwing a grin his way just as Amy smacks her palm down on the tray. Her fingers hit the end of the spoon that Rey had set in the bowl, and cereal mixture splatters – over Amy, over the new high chair, over the floor, and over Rey.

The college student blinks, cheeks splattered with white mush as she turns to look at Amy. Ben’s chest tightens. His hand flies to his mouth in both surprise and in a vain attempt not to crack up at how the girl is slowly and dramatically turning to look at his daughter.

“… did you do that?” Rey asks, playfully angry towards the baby who’s now wearing an absolutely shit-eating grin and gurgling in laughter.

Ben can’t help it. He promptly loses it, laughing as Rey turns to grin at him, shaking her head, and touching where some of the milky cereal has landed in her hair.

“Fuck you, Solo,” she says, but she’s obviously trying not to laugh herself as Amy just continues to coo and giggle, pleased with her destruction.

He laughs. He laughs until his stomach hurts, and he laughs until tears prick his eyes, and he laughs harder than he has in a really, really long time. He’s not sure he can remember when he was this happy; not any time in recent memory, that’s for sure.

“I’m sorry,” he says, once he gets a fraction of a handle on himself. “I’m sorry, I just-“

“It’s fine,” Rey assures him. “It could’ve been squash. That’s a lot stickier, and a lot grosser, trust me.” She uses Amy’s bib to wipe the mush from the baby’s face. “Got any paper towels?”

He grabs a few and runs them under the tap before handing them to her. He helps to wipe down the rest of his daughter’s face as Rey wipes at her own cheeks, still grinning as she bends down to wipe white goop off of the floor. “She really got me, didn’t she?”

“A bit,” he replies as he finishes wiping Amy’s face. He takes the bowl far, far away from his daughter and sets it on the counter, the baby seemingly finished with her meal. “I really am sorry. I didn’t know-“

“Lesson learned,” Rey says, tossing the paper towels into the trashcan. “Never leave a spoon in a bowl unattended. Otherwise that happens. Did she get any on the ceiling?”

Ben looks up. “Don’t think so.”

“Good, that’s a whole ‘nother problem I had to deal with with BB,” Rey replies, looking back down towards Amy. “Nice one, sweetheart.”

Ben walks over and pulls the bib from his daughter’s neck, setting it aside to be washed. He scoops her up into his arms, holding her and cuddling her as Rey takes the bib to the hamper in Amy’s room. By the time she comes back out, Amy’s curled into his father’s chest and his heart’s lighter than it has been in a really, really long time.

“I’m going to go shower this stuff out,” Rey says, gesturing to the glops of cereal still in her hair. Though she sounds annoyed, she’s grinning, and so Ben just smiles back and nods.

“We’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks. “What time are they coming over?”

“When you get up, text me, and I’ll text them,” Rey explains as she walks over to the kitchen to grab her purse and the two small succulents she’d bought in the plant department. She juggles them in one hand and her apartment key in the other, and Ben watches her as Amy wiggles a bit in his grip. “And then we’ll get started, all right?”

“Thank you,” Ben says sincerely, offering her what he hopes is a somewhat soft smile as Amy curls into his chest. “Thank you, so much, for everything.”

“What’re friends for?” Rey asks, shrugging and grinning and tossing a wave back as she slips through their apartment door.

Friends.

Ben kisses the top of Amy’s head as he walks back into her room.

That’s right. Friends.

-

His new bed’s fantastic. The mattress is a lot better than the half-deflated mess of plastic and air he’d been lying on. He no longer feels like he’s floating on some raft in the middle of an ocean, and his body aches from a day of activity. There’s really no reason why he shouldn’t be asleep right now.

His body’s certainly tired enough; his brain, however, is another case completely.

_Just … just take her, Ben, please._

_... are you sure you don't want her?_

_… no, I don’t._

He clenches his eyes shut, trying to push his face more into the pillow before deciding he should see what time it is. He blinks blearily at the brightness of his phone, squinting at the blurry picture of Amy on his lock screen. Between the late hour and his lack of glasses, she’s just a blob of color on the bright screen. He can just barely make out the numbers 3:14, and groans softly, turning the phone off and setting it back on the mattress.

He huffs, flipping so that he’s face down in the pillow. “Fuck,” he mutters, but it’s muffled by the cotton and feathers and comes out more as a “Fumph” than anything else.

Ben sighs, turning his head back to the side so that he can breathe properly. He opens his eyes to see the moonlight filtering through the somewhat dirty window, the shadow of the fire escape and its ladders on the floor of his bedroom. He pushes himself up, pulling his knees towards his chest so that he can brace his elbows on them and bury his hands in his hair.

_… It was her choice, remember. She didn't want Amy, but she carried her anyway. Stop it. Stop thinking of her. She didn't want her, and Rey doesn't either._

He sighs again, fingers clenching against his scalp as he tries to push those thoughts out as best as he can. No, Rey doesn’t want Amy. Rey’s helping take care of Amy because it’s a nice thing to do, and because he’s paying her. That’s it. That’s the only reason, he’s entirely sure of it.

She likes him, sure, as a friend.

And he likes her, too.

A lot more than he fucking should, for a single father with a 5 month-old little girl and a shitload of problems shoved in a dark closet he never, ever wants to open.

His fingers pull at his hair to the point of pain, yanking until tears prick behind his eyes and he has to tell himself to let go in fear of yanking out strands. He tries in vain to push the thoughts to the back of his head, to settle back down against the new mattress (the new mattress Rey had insisted upon, he reminds himself briefly), but it’s no use.

The next time he looks at the clock, its 3:59, and he resolves himself to just not getting any sleep at all as he watches the moonlight shift across the floor.

-

**5 months, 2 weeks and 3 days**  
**Sunday**

“Finn, I want a baby girl.”

Ben looks up from the box he’s unpacking towards where Poe’s lying on the newly-delivered sleeper couch. It’s a dark black fabric, perfect for stains when Amy gets a bit older, and the cushions need a bit of sitting on to get really soft, but it’s comfortable so far. Plus it has the sleeping option for his parents, once they make it down like Leia said they would.

After it had been delivered and assembled, Poe’d taken it upon himself to be the babysitter. Currently, he’s lying on his back with his knees propped up, Amy leaning back against his thighs with her diaper-covered butt resting on his stomach. She giggles as he lifts her, the older father grinning brightly as she coos and gurgles.

“Can’t exactly help you with that, babe,” Finn pipes from where he’s following the instructions for Ben’s desk. Rey’s holding the final piece up as Finn reaches to drill the metal screws in place. “Don’t have the right parts.”

“Rey?” Poe calls. “Would you consider-“

“Nope,” Rey replies, popping the ‘p’ as she and Finn push the desk upright. “And done! Ben, can you help me push it between the two bookcases?”

The young father had bought two large bookcases to flank either side of the desk. Ben’s in the process of unpacking his boxes of books so that they can collapse the boxes down and get them out. As Rey starts to push the right side of the desk, Ben sets the pile of books down and walks to help her with the left. The two of them slide the desk into place, and Finn comes along behind them with the desk chair. Ben grins as he looks at the new office space, looking towards the young woman who’s grinning as well and holding up her hand for a high-five. He indulges her, reaching up to hit her palm with his.

“All right, bookshelves down, desk down, couch down, chairs down,” Rey says, putting her hands on her hips. “I vote lunch next.”

Her dark ripped jeans are covered in wood dust, cardboard bits, and Styrofoam pieces, and her cream tank top’s streaked in sweat, but Ben just takes in her accomplished grin and smiles back.

“Yeah, sure. What does everyone want on their pizza?”

“Anything except for anchovies, artichokes, or peppers,” Poe says.

“I’m fine with anything,” Finn pipes up from where he’s brushing Styrofoam balls off of one of the bookshelves.

“How about cheese and pepperoni?” Ben offers, walking to where his wallet and phone are still on the fold-out table by the door.

“Good with me,” Poe calls. Ben glances back towards the other father to see that he’s now sitting up and bouncing Amy gently on his knees. Her fist is in her mouth, and she smiles around it at the motion. Ben smiles to himself as he orders, watching out of the corner of his eye as Rey walks to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of cream soda from one of the six-packs Poe and Finn had brought.

“Should be here in a half hour,” Ben explains, slipping his phone back into his pocket and leaving his wallet on the table. “She doing okay?”

“She’s fine,” Poe insists, not even looking up at Amy’s father and instead just grinning at the little girl.

“She’s a sweetheart, isn’t she?” Rey says, sitting on a free end of the couch with the bottle in her hand. She takes a small sip before looking for a place to put it. She looks towards Ben and offers it to him. “Mind taking this? I don’t want her getting a hold of it.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ben says, taking it from her and setting it on the kitchen counter as she takes Amy from Poe. The younger father watches as she holds Amy, both of the girls’ smiles bright as Rey bounces her on her knees.

“She sleeping all right?” Poe asks, standing and walking to grab his own bottle of soda.

“Most nights, yeah. 80% I’d say. It’s still pretty new to her, so sometimes she’ll wake up. But most nights she sleeps through.”

“How was your night last night? New bed, mattress and all,” Rey asks, looking over towards him. “Better than the air mattress?”

“Slept like a baby,” Ben lies as Poe comes to stand next to him, taking a swig of his soda as the older father watches Rey with Amy.

“…. Ben?”

Ben looks up to where Finn’s been pulling books out of one of the boxes. He raises his eyebrows at the younger man, who holds up a simple silver frame. Though Ben can’t see the photo from across the room, by the look on Finn’s face he can guess what picture it is.

“… do you want me to put it somewhere, or…?” Finn offers as Ben walks over, holding out his hand for the picture of Amy and her mother. The young woman’s holding the infant, the little girl having just been born. It’s one of the few pictures he actually kept of his daughter’s mother. Finn puts the frame in Ben’s hand, and the young father looks down at the picture.

It would be sweet, if he didn’t know what transpired afterwards. The woman’s not even smiling; she’s just looking down at her daughter, face blank. He can see his own hands on the rail of the hospital bed, the hospital band still around his wrist as he waits for the chance to hold his daughter.

“I’ll keep it out for now,” Ben mutters, looking down at it. “I’ll save it for when she starts to question it.”

“What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?” Poe calls from across the room. Ben glances towards the other father, and just barely catches Rey making a quick and frantic ‘no!’ motion across her neck, mouth forming the word as well before she stills and turns with wide eyes towards Ben.

“She didn’t want her, simple as that,” Ben explains, setting the frame down on the desk and reaching into the box to pull out the remaining books. He starts to put them on the shelves, pushing them to the side to keep them upright. “She left, I stayed. And then our company decided to move, and I went with them. Left everything, moved here with her.” He jerks his head towards his daughter, who’s finding the neck of Rey’s tank top very entertaining. He blushes as he catches a glimpse of pale blue lace before Rey realizes what’s going on and tugs the tank back into place.

“Hey, no grabbing,” Rey scolds, pulling his daughter’s hands away from her top and holding Amy’s little fingers instead. “That’s not nice.”

The 5 month old just gurgles slightly, and Rey goes from looking vaguely annoyed to grinning. “All right, I’ll forgive you because you’re cute,” she teases, and Ben feels like his heart’s about to burst out of his chest as she bends to press a kiss to the top of the little girl’s head.

“Want me to take her?” Ben offers, already setting the books aside and jumping as the ones on the shelf fall with a ‘bang’ from lack of support.

“I’m on it,” Finn says, walking and pushing the books back up against the side of the shelf. “Any way you want them organized?”

“As long as they’re on the shelf, they’re organized,” Ben mutters as he walks forward, reaching for his daughter. Rey hands the baby to him, and he smiles as he pulls her close, letting her rest against his chest. She’s not quite able to sit up in his arms on her own, but she can pull back a bit and touch at his hair where it curls near his ears.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he mutters, watching her eyes as they dart around his face. He lets her explore, touching his cheek and his nose and his hair. Her eyes find his, eventually, and hold as she continues touching his skin, reaching for his lips. He smiles as she brushes small fingers against his lower lip.

“How the fuck is she so cute?”

Ben’s head snaps to the left so he can look at Poe, who’s watching them and grinning, cream soda bottle dangling from his fingers. “Thank you, I…” Ben starts, unsure of what to say aside from that.

“Seriously, Finn, I want a baby,” Poe insists, looking towards his boyfriend.

“Let’s get married first, then we’ll see,” Finn calls as he puts books on the shelf.

“Great. Let’s go this afternoon, after we shower and change.”

“Poe,” Finn scolds, looking over his shoulder at his boyfriend.

“I know, I know,” Poe says, taking a sip of his soda. “Degree, then marriage, then more children.”

“Yeah, I can understand his - ow!” Ben exclaims as his hair’s tugged harshly, and he turns to glare at his daughter as she giggles at his response. He reaches up to where her tiny fist is in his dark hair and tries to pry her fingers away.

“Yeah, that’ll happen more, now,” the older father says as the doorbell rings.

“I’ve got it,” Rey calls.

“Tip’s in my wallet on the table,” Ben offers. “Give him a ten.”

“Right,” the college girl says as she opens the door. Poe follows, taking the money from Ben’s wallet as Rey takes the two boxes of pizza. The father hands over the bill as Rey sets the pizzas down on the counter.

“I’m going to go put her down,” Ben says, carrying Amy over. “Say night night.” Rey leans forward to press a kiss to Amy’s little chubby cheek. The 5 month old reaches for Rey immediately, and the college girl looks towards Ben as if to ask permission.

“If you want to,” Ben says, letting Amy go towards Rey. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all. Save me a soda and two slices of pepperoni?” she asks, taking Amy and holding her close.

“Will do,” Ben replies, watching as Rey presses her lips against Amy’s head and carries the little girl into the other room to be put down for a nap after playing with Poe for the better part of the morning.

“You like Rey.”

It’s not a question. Ben looks to see Poe leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest and smile just a bit lopsided as Finn retrieves plates from the set they’d just put away. He gets cheese for Poe and offers the pizza to his boyfriend, who takes the plate while his eyes are still focused on Ben.

“She’s fantastic with Amy,” Ben tries, in an attempt to brush it off. “It’s nice having the help around, and it’s –“

“Bullshit,” Poe warns. “You like her, don’t you?”

Ben blinks, and tries the oblivious route once again. “Of course I like her, she’s wonderful.”

“What he means,” Finn says, moving and leaning back against Poe. Poe gladly holds him, his hands coming around his boyfriend’s waist to dig his hands into Finn’s front pockets. “Is that you want to date her.”

Ben stares at the couple, watching as Poe plants a soft kiss on Finn’s cheek. It’s tame, as far as PDA goes, but it makes his heart hurt just a bit when he tries to remember the last time he’d held someone like Poe’s holding Finn. Sure, he hasn’t had time at all – he barely has time to breathe anymore, let alone go out with anyone. Let alone go out with Rey, even if she would accept his offer.

“… yeah,” he admits, taking a sip from his soda. “But it’s not an option.”

“Bullshit,” Poe repeats. “It is too an option.”

“What’s an option?” Rey comes around the corner, pulling her tank top back up from where Ben assumes Amy’s tugged it down in an attempt to cling to the college girl.

“Getting a white sofa instead of the black,” Poe lies flawlessly. “There’s something called bleach.”

Rey just stares at Poe, raising one dark eyebrow at him as she leans next to Ben. The father tries to keep his heart from leaping from his throat and falling out of his mouth as she settles just a few inches from him, close enough to touch. Finn notices the closeness as well, and smiles around his pizza, meeting Ben’s eyes as Rey replies, “You’re insane, Dameron. With a 5 month year old? She’s going to be crawling and walking with sippy cups and sticky fingers soon.”

Poe shrugs. “Maybe,” he says, grinning. “But it’s an option, trust me.”

Ben catches the other man’s wink, though Rey misses it as she reaches for her soda bottle.

-

“Where’d we put the cups?” Ben asks, looking around and frowning.

“No idea. In one of the big blue bags,” Rey offers from where she’s building the coffee table.

“That is really not helpful.”

“Cups are already in the cabinet,” Finn says, emerging from the kitchen and dusting his hands off. “Utensils are in the drawers, plates are in the cabinet, too.”

“Yeah, you did the easy stuff,” Poe breathes, emerging from the bedroom. “Dresser’s done.”

‘Thank you,” Ben sighs, running his hand through his hair as he watches Rey whack at the coffee table with her hammer. Amy’s swinging happily beside her. “Thank you, thank you all so much.”

“Sure. Free food, get a little workout, get to play with this princess,” Poe coos, bending and scooping Amy out of her swing. The little girl coos as she’s pulled into his arms and bounced around a bit.

“I wanted to hold her,” Finn protests, walking around and crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against the wall that separates the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. There’s a large cutout in the wall, rectangular with the counter extending through it. Ben guesses it’s supposed to be some sort of bar, but he doesn’t want bar stools when there’s the possibility of Amy pulling them down and on top of her when she gets old enough to toddle around.

“You put away cups, I made a dresser. I get to hold the baby,” Poe insists, tone teasing but also slightly dangerous. Finn just holds up his hands and walks over to Rey who’s working to tip the table over onto its legs. She grins once it’s upright, pushing it so that it’s even with the couch. Two chairs are on either side of it, the seating forming a ‘u’ shape with the coffee table in the middle.

He just has the two storage units and the TV table to go across from the seating to put together, but that’s a project for another day. Poe managed to put together the dresser and his bedside table. Rey finished the coffee table and one of the side tables between the chair and the sofa, and Ben and Finn have been unloading the things in the boxes so that they could take the cardboard out to recycling.

Most of the things he’d brought were books and personal items, clothes and the like. He has yet to put his own clothes away, but he and Rey decided that they’d work on Amy’s clothes while eating Chinese for dinner. Poe and Finn want to go back and eat with BB, which Ben completely understands and has told them several times is totally fine even when they offer to stay a bit longer. Over the past hour, he’s counted three offers to stay even though it’s not needed.

There are still four blue bags of things to put away, but he doesn’t mind too much. They’re little things like a more colorful shower curtain instead of the clear plastic one he has up now, and tea towels for the kitchen, and the bath towels he’d bought that were much better than the worse-for-wear ones he’d brought from New York.

“What else do we need to put together?” Finn asks, glancing towards Ben.

Ben shakes his head. “Nothing, for now. There’s the TV stand and the two storage units to go on either side of it, but that’s a bigger project. You two need to get home to BB, I’m sure he’s missing you.”

“Please, without us the kid’s probably having chocolate chip waffles with chocolate syrup and whipped cream for dinner,” Poe insists, holding Amy up a little higher to see her smile at the sudden change in height. “I love Jess, but she has no concept of nutrition.”

“Says the man who downed three bottles of cream soda and four slices of pizza,” Rey says flatly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I have no problem with chocolate waffles or whipped cream,” Poe tells Ben, looking over at the other father. “It’s the chocolate syrup that’s overkill.”

Ben can see Finn shaking his head, the younger man smiling sweetly as he walks over to Poe. “All right, c’mon, we gotta get home so we can make a somewhat healthy dinner that doesn’t involve chocolate or whipped cream,” Finn teases. He leans up to kiss Poe on the cheek. “Put the princess down, Poe.”

“I think you just spit on her from all those ‘p’s,” Poe replies, but hands Amy over to a waiting Rey who sets the baby back down in her swing. “Nice seeing you again, Ben.”

“Thank you both so, so much for your help,” Ben insists, walking over to shake Finn’s hand. The younger man grins up at him. “I have no idea when I would’ve been able to get all this done.”

“Over the course of six months or so,” Poe teases. Ben offers his hand out to him, but the other man goes right in for a hug.

Ben freezes at the gesture. He … honestly can’t remember the last time he’d been hugged by someone who wasn’t his mother. Even Han preferred a handshake to a hug, though his father’s hugged him before. The feeling’s … a lot better than he remembered it being, honestly, and after a moment of hesitation he wraps his arms around the other man.

“Let us know if you need anything, all right?” Poe mutters. “I don’t … have any experience with whatever the hell you’re going through, but if you need any parenting advice or whiskey we’re just a call away. Rey’ll give you our numbers.”

“Thank you,” Ben breathes, and though it’s the simplest offer a bit of the weight he didn’t even know he was carrying feels like it’s been lifted. Two more people. Two more people who can help in a crisis, who can lend a hand if he really really needs it. He hopes he won’t. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

Poe claps him on the back and pulls back, grinning. “I swear – anything, you just call, we’ll do the best we can,” he offers. “Even it means, you know, babysitting. If you want to go out with anyone. Like on a date. Or something.”

“Your subtlety knows no bounds,” Rey deadpans, walking over from playing with Amy. “If you try to put him up on a blind date, I will jam my drill into your chest and turn it on.”

“Savage,” Poe replies just as flatly before grinning at Ben. “See you around?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Ben replies, slipping his hands into his back pockets as Rey stands next to him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Thanks again.”

“Sure thing, handsome,” Poe says offhandedly as he steps through the open door, Finn holding it open for him. “Text you later, sweetheart!”

“See that you do,” Rey replies before the door closes. The last Ben sees of the couple is Finn’s sheepish but bright smile as he closes the door behind them. “Oh, my God, remind me why I’m friends with them?”

“Because they’re nice enough to help a complete stranger get his shit in order?” Ben offers, glancing down at her. She’s pulling her hair out of the topknot she’d pulled it up into, and is in the process of shaking it out before pulling it back up.

“Valid reason,” she mutters with the tie in her mouth. “Chinese and baby clothes?”

“Chinese and baby clothes,” he repeats, going to get the takeout menu she’d brought over, his phone, and his credit card.

-

**5 months, 2 weeks and 6 days**  
**Wednesday**

“You can go home early.”

Ben blinks, looking up from the email from the author he’s communicating with. As far as plot and original idea goes, the book’s phenomenal. As far as the author’s obsession with using a thesaurus … well, let’s just say he has yet to find an editor who clicks well with the man he’s penning the email to. “Wait, really?”

Hux leans against the doorway and shrugs. “Yeah,” he replies. “With the merger done, I sent a lot of our projects to the other office. If we have less, we can spend more time on the ones we have and more effort doing the best job we can. So if you’re done for the day, you can go.”

“I’m just sending an email to Mr. Jackson,” Ben explains, nodding down towards the laptop.

“Isn’t he the one who basically rewrote the word ‘bad’ using twenty different synonyms? Over the course of two pages?”

“That’s him.”

“Good luck with that one,” the redhead mutters as Ben reaches for his phone to call Rey. “I’m staying for a bit, but I’ll be leaving soon.”

“Thank you, as soon as I shoot this off I’ll be gone. Phasma?”

“Already out.”

“Fantastic.” He clicks on Rey's number – she’s one out of his two ‘favorite’ contacts, the other being his mother. “Let me call Rey and tell her.”

“Say hi to your girlfriend for me,” Hux says, smirking as he pushes himself off of the doorframe.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Ben calls, glaring at the redhead as he leaves, throwing a pale hand back in complete dismissal of his colleague’s protest. Ben sighs as he waits for the girl to pick up.

It’s pretty quick – two rings, and then she’s breathing a cheerful, “Hi!” into his ear. He can hear the smile in her voice, and instinctively smiles back.

“Hi there. I’m leaving early.”

“Wait, really?” she asks, voice pitching upwards in question. “That’s fantastic! I was going to tell you earlier, but we had a little diaper issue that needed my attention. My class was canceled!”

“Really?” he parrots. “Why?”

“Fire because freshmen are stupid,” she breathes. “It should be fine by tomorrow, they’re just airing everything out and giving it the all clear.”

He frowns at her breathlessness. “You all right?”

“Yeah, fine, why?”

“You’re pretty much panting.”

“Oh, I’m holding your daughter up. She likes to pretend to be an airplane,” Rey explains, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world. “But she’s getting heavier.”

“Is she?” Ben asks, propping the phone between his cheek and his shoulder as he finishes up the email. “Is it worrying? Did it come on suddenly? Does she look heavy to you?”

“Ben, she’s a baby,” Rey replies matter-of-factly. “Babies grow at an alarming rate.”

“True,” he admits, finishing the email with his signature and sending it off. The application makes a loud ‘swish’ sound as it goes, and he grins, closing his laptop and slipping it into its protective sleeve. “And I’m out!”

“Fantastic!” Rey cheers. “It’s pretty warm this evening, want to take her out for a walk in the park?”

“Sure,” he says, slipping his laptop into his briefcase before slinging it over his shoulder. “Do you want to come with?”

“If you don’t mind. I was planning on taking her out earlier today, but it was drizzling.”

“Sure,” he repeats as he leaves his office and throws a farewell wave to Hux. The redhead doesn’t look up from his computer, but does give a little half-wave back. “Dinner?”

“I’m thinking making something since we had both pizza and Chinese last night.”

“Mac n’ cheese?” he asks, walking towards the elevators. “Homemade, none of that Kraft stuff. I have pots now, so I can make it. I’ll stop by the store and get some ingredients on the way back.”

“Absolutely,” she replies. “Sounds fantastic.”

“Great, see you at home.”

“See you soon!”

He hangs up as he steps inside the elevator, grinning at the reflective inside of it. It’s not until he’s walking out of the building and down the street that he realizes. He realizes just how domestic the conversation they just had was, and he realizes that he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

-

“Daddy’s home!”

The stroller’s already put together, and Rey grins at him from where she’s bouncing Amy on her hip. Ben smiles back, setting his briefcase down and walking over to press a kiss to Amy’s cheek. “How was she?”

“Good, as always. Well, didn’t sleep much in the way of an afternoon nap, but maybe if we’re lucky she’ll do down during the walk. Want to change, and then head out?”

“Sure.” He shows her the plastic bag of mac n’ cheese ingredients. “I can make enough for leftovers.”

“That would be fantastic,” she breathes, grin broadening. “I have two tests this week, not having to worry about dinner would be great.”

“Done. Let me change really quickly.”

“How cold is it?”

“Jacket,” he calls back. “Can you get her dressed?”

“Sure,” she replies, and he hears her behind him as he walks into the bedroom. She strolls past into Amy’s room, and he hears the opening and closing of drawers and the closet door as she finds warmer clothes for his daughter. He changes into a sweatshirt and jeans, toeing off his work shoes and slipping into his Converse. He steps out and runs a hand through his hair, walking into his daughter’s room. Amy’s on Rey’s hip as she searches through her outfits. She emerges with red pants and a matching cardigan, and a onesie with a strawberry on it. Ben has to give credit to his mom on that one; he’s not the best at picking out entire outfits, preferring to just mix and match the easiest pieces.

“How long ago was she changed?” Ben asks, walking over and holding Amy up for Rey. The little baby gurgles as Rey swiftly unbuttons the bottom of the onesie. Ben sets Amy down on the changing table as Rey tugs the onesie up and over the baby’s head. He takes the onesie and tosses it in the hamper as Rey tugs the new strawberry one on.

“Fifteen minutes,” Rey replies. “Figured a fresh one would be good for the walk, but you never know. They’re tricky sometimes.” She grins down at Amy as she tugs the little pants up. “Aren’t you? You’re a little trickster sometimes, aren’t you?”

Amy grins up at her sitter, fist going towards her mouth. Ben watches, smiling, as Rey pulls her up to tug the pants up all the way before handing her to her father. “All right, jacket. Can you hold her?”

“Sure.” He holds his daughter around her chubby little middle and kisses the top of her head as Rey tugs the jacket around, and pulls Amy’s arms through. Ben shifts Amy so that she’s on his hip as Rey finishes and turns, bending over to rummage through the drawer and produce a pair of matching socks.

“Ah ha!” She emerges victorious a moment later, producing a pair of white socks with the same strawberry print and grinning. “I can’t believe we have the full outfit.”

“Thank Mom,” Ben replies as he holds Amy relatively still so that Rey can slip her socks on. “She’s the one who bought the whole thing.”

“What’s your mom’s name?” Rey asks as she slides the last sock on.

“Leia.”

“Thank you, Leia,” Rey says, grinning. “All right, walk? I have the bag just in case. Diapers, some milk, one of the food pouches, extra outfit, water bottles for us.”

“I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you,” Ben admits, watching as Rey tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

The college girl just continues grinning, shrugging. “You’d probably do okay, but you wouldn’t have a bed. Or an actual crib.”

“Or my sanity,” Ben replies wryly as he turns and walks out of the bedroom. Amy goes into her stroller, and Ben hands her the giraffe toy. She immediately puts it in her mouth and then takes it out, examining it with tiny fingers before slipping the hoof between her little lips again.

“Yeah, I know, you like Sophie,” Ben mutters as he buckles her in. He can feel Rey beside him, and turns to see her swinging the bag over her shoulder.

They exit the apartment and walk to the elevator. Rey looks down at her nails as Ben sweeps his finger along Amy’s cheek, smiling at the little coo he gets from her at the affection.

“She was good today.”

“That’s great to hear,” he replies as the elevator comes and he pushes her into it. Rey steps in behind him and presses the lobby. “Do I want to know what happened regarding the fire?”

“It’s nothing,” she says with a shrug. “Some fumes, some fire, nothing too bad. It’ll be cleared out for my class tomorrow. I’m just glad that most of my things are in the other building, so they weren’t in any danger.”

“’Some fumes, some fire’, she says,” Ben repeats, glancing down at her and shaking his head and looking down at Amy. “She’s funny, isn’t she?”

Amy just giggles around the giraffe’s hoof.

The elevator opens to the lobby, and Ben pushes Amy through as Rey goes to get the door. They walk down the block and turn right, the park a few blocks away. Ben’s only been there a few times, when the farmers market’s there on Saturdays to pick up veggies and fruits. He’d tried to make Amy baby food once, using the maker that his mother had kindly bought him, but after getting zucchini on the ceiling and his work shirt he decided that it was just easier to buy it premade.

The park’s pretty big, as far as parks go. He hasn’t explored all of it, yet, or seen the rest of it. Ben stops to look at the map of the large area of land, frowning. “They have a baseball field?”

“A few leagues play on weekends, yeah,” Rey replies, peering around to look at the map. “Let’s just walk until she starts to fuss?”

“Yeah, good with me. We’ll find our way back eventually,” he says with a shrug. “Do need to get her home in time for dinner and sleep, though.”

“This isn’t going to be a 2 hour walk,” Rey says teasingly, looking up at him and hoisting the diaper bag more on her shoulder. “C’mon.”

It’s mid September, so it’s getting cooler. Ben pushes Amy along the concrete walkways, trying to look at her and where he’s going at the same time. Rey walks beside him, close enough to leave the other side of the pathway open.

“Favorite color?” she asks, after about five minutes of comfortable silence.

Ben replies immediately with, “Blue. You?”

“Green.”

“Really?” he asks, glancing towards her.

She shrugs. “It’s pretty, and reminds me of being outside. Spring green’s the prettiest, the color of the leaves just as they start to come out again.”

Ben hums, glancing down towards Amy. “Do you think she’ll be a pink person?”

“Only time will tell,” Rey says, grinning. “What if she is?”

“Then she will get every single pink thing possible,” Ben replies, to which Rey just laughs and shakes her head.

“And if she’s into blue and likes sports?” she asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Then I’ll put down firm rules about not kicking a soccer ball in the apartment and take her to the baseball field whenever she wants,” Ben says seriously, glancing down at Rey. “She’s my kid. I’ll do whatever she wants.”

Rey bumps her hip into his thigh and smiles. “You’re a pretty good dad already.”

“Having a fantastic sitter makes a difference,” he admits. “Seriously, I have no idea what I’d be doing without you. I’d be taking her in to work every day, we’d both be getting minimal amounts of sleep, she’d probably be fussy all the time, my parents would have to come down more often. It would be awful.”

“I’m glad I’m here, then,” she says, and when he looks down at her, her smile seems to make even the sun above seem dim. He smiles back, looking towards the walkway again and trying to keep his heart rate from getting too high after a simple grin.

His eyes find a couple in the grass ahead, sitting crosslegged in front of a car carrier. The stroller frame’s beside them, as well as the diaper bag, and his smile falls just the slightest bit when he sees the mom scoop the baby boy up and cradle him to her chest. The baby’s significantly younger than Amy; 2 months old, maybe 3 months at most, and Ben politely averts his eyes when the young mother starts to breastfeed him.

He looks down at Amy, teeth worrying at his lower lip as he looks down at her mouthing at the giraffe hoof.

She could’ve had that, he thinks. Maybe. If he’d begged her to stay, begged her to try.

Amy could’ve had a mother if he’d just tried harder.

He looks up when he hears talking nearby, a bit loud.

“Do we have chicken nuggets?”

“No idea, when’s the last time she had them?”

“Last night, I think there were a few left.”

The voices belong to two more parents. Like Ben, the father’s pushing the stroller of the toddler who’s currently playing with a stuffed Dory fish. He watches as the toy tumbles from her little fingers, and stops as Rey bends to pick it up and hand it back to the little girl with a smile and a “Here you go, sweetheart.”

“Oh, thank you!” the mom says, offering Rey a sheepish smile as the sitter straightens again.

“No problem,” Rey offers as the other father throws her a grin. The mom gives a little wave in thanks before they’re off again, continuing their conversation.

Ben watches them go, heart feeling just a bit empty as he looks back down at Amy. His daughter has her father pushing her stroller as well, yeah.

But there’s no mom beside him.

“Ben?”

He startles a bit, looking up from watching his daughter to where Rey’s standing a few feet ahead, frowning at him. He realizes that he hasn’t moved from where they’d passed the other parents, and Rey’d walked on without him.

“You okay?” she asks, walking back and looking up at him.

“Yeah,” he replies, the word coming out slightly choked. He coughs, shaking his head. “No, yeah, I’m fine, was just thinking.”

“Do you want me to take her?” Rey asks.

“No, no, it’s fine, I have her,” he replies, giving her the best smile he can manage. “I have her.”

The last three words feel a bit heavier, just a bit more meaningful as he looks down at his daughter before looking back at her caretaker. Rey smiles at him again, and that empty space in his heart feels like it’s filled just the tiniest bit. It’s far from completely fixed, but at least the sorrow and regret clawing at his mind seems to ease just a bit.

His daughter might not have a mother, but at least they have Rey. “I’m fine,” he assures her. “C’mon, let’s go.”


	2. Part 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Sexual Content  
> DISCLAIMER: I don't have any children, and it's been a while since we've had a baby in our family. I did the best research I had time for, but if something is glaringly obvious, please tell me! I'll fix it immediately.  
> Thank you all for your patience on this chapter - you rock!  
> I also don't own Mr. Brightside by the Killers. Though I wish I did.  
> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! Comments seriously make my day so much brighter and I love getting feedback from you all. You're the greatest for hanging in here this long!

**5 months, 3 weeks, 3 days**   
**Sunday**

It’s getting easier. 

The wall on the same side of the door to his apartment is covered in pictures of Amy, now. Some are ones that he took, but most of them are pictures that Rey sent him before. That was a project and a half, his daughter cooing in the bouncer while he pried and positioned and pinned the pictures on the wall, held up by black clothespins and some poster putty. 

The picture of Amy’s mother sits firmly in the drawer of his desk, beneath the file folders he’d hung inside. 

He orders some prints for Amy’s room and spends the weekend securing them onto the wall, putting up shelves and displaying some of her gifted stuffed animals on them so his daughter doesn’t have the bare room she’d had before. He smiles as he turns the night sky nightlight on, sending projected stars across the ceiling. Amy stares up at it as he holds her in the rocking chair, and Rey grins at the room when she steps in after knocking on the door about the racket he was making. 

“Finally have a theme, huh?” she asks, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall as he changes Amy. 

“I liked the whole ‘night’ idea, Starry Night, you know?” he explains, shrugging as he dumps the dirty diaper into the trash and reaches for the new one. His daughter likes to kick, now, and tries to roll off of the changing table. “Oh, no, you don’t!” he exclaims, putting his hand down on his daughter’s little belly as she giggles and gurgles. He can hear Rey laughing behind him.

“You know, I can cut out vinyl decals at school,” Rey offers. “I know I’ve seen a few in magazines that say ‘Twinkle twinkle little star, do you know how loved you are?’”

Ben stops, holding the diaper over Amy just in case she decides there’s more to come, but not actually securing it yet. He frowns, glancing towards Rey. “… I can’t decide whether that’s adorable or just really cheesy.” He turns back and secures the diaper down before rebuttoning the onesie. “All right, baby girl, all dry now.” 

Amy gurgles and Ben grins at her little gummy smile before lifting her into his arms again. She’s starting to be more independent, and he’s noticing that she’s starting to progress into sitting up on her own. It was a wakeup call the morning he walked in and found her sleeping on her stomach instead of her back, having rolled over by herself. That had been a phone call to Leia, Ben in somewhat of a panic as his mother assured him that his daughter was perfectly fine.

“I can cut a few stars, if you want,” Rey offers. She’s looking at the constellation prints he’d bought online, and raises an eyebrow as she turns to him. “Are these all the star signs? The constellations?” 

“And a few others,” he replies, bringing Amy over. “So that I can teach them to her.” 

Rey laughs, shaking her head. “That’s cute.” She smiles. “I have to go study, quiz tomorrow. I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” 

“If that works for you,” Ben replies. “I paid you for last week, right?” 

“Right.” She leans forward to press a kiss to the top of Amy’s head. Ben lowers his daughter so that Rey doesn’t have to go all the way up on her tiptoes. “See you tomorrow, baby girl.” 

Amy reaches for Rey, and stares, wide-eyed and confused when her beloved caretaker moves away instead of taking her. “Ba,” she babbles, and Ben snorts, shaking his head. 

“She’s starting,” he says. “No words yet, but if you wouldn’t mind reading-“ 

“You say that like I haven’t already,” Rey says teasingly. “Don’t worry, I’ll up the reading a bit.” 

“Thank you. I’ve been reading to her every night, too,” he replies. “See you in the morning?” 

“See you in the morning,” Rey repeats, and throws a wave his way with that sunshine-y smile he’s grown to love so much. 

“Bye,” he says quietly, startling a bit once Amy starts to wiggle and nearly pitches out of his arms. “Hey, stop that, monkey!” 

 

**5 months, 3 weeks, 5 days**   
**Tuesday**

“If I ask what you’re doing, will I understand any of it?” 

Ben frowns as he looks across to where Rey’s doing her homework. He’s holding Amy on his lap and bouncing her a bit, her gaze towards him as Rey’s spread out on the couch next to him, her feet almost touching his thigh as she finishes the homework she’d been assigned. 

Rey reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear and looks at her sketches, then to him, frowning as well. “I mean, I can try? But do you have any idea what this is?” 

She points to some swirling sketch of some pipe bit he’s sure is a standard in the industry, but he’s never seen anything like it in his life. “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. 

“Then this will mean nothing to you.”

“Good to know, thanks for clarifying,” Ben says with a chuckle as she grins back sheepishly. Within seconds she’s looking back down at the paper, and Ben can hear the soft skritching of the pencil as she shades something in.

Ben hums softly, looking down towards his little daughter. He smiles and kisses the top of her head gently, keeping his lips there for a moment before he turns and rests his cheek against her hair. “She’s going to need to have a bath soon, and then go to bed,” he mutters, watching as Rey tucks a pencil behind her ear. 

“Want me to take her?” Rey asks, looking up from her sketchbook. “Or I can help.”

“Getting the changing table ready and her pajamas out would be a great help, thanks,” he replies, pulling Amy from sitting on his knees into his arms so that she can rest against his chest. 

“Sure,” she says. “Now?” 

“Finish that sketch first? How many have you done so far?” 

“This will be number ten, I need fifteen. This is a pretty good stopping point as any,” Rey admits, looking back down at her sketches. 

Ben looks over, and smiles softly. The array of tools she has around her is insane. Stencils, rulers, compasses, pens and pencils. In her three buns, she has about six drawing utensils. He watches as she feels for the one she wants and pulls it out, putting the one pencil she’s constantly using between her lips as she outlines a screw or something of that sort. 

She’s just in jeans and a t-shirt from the college, no makeup and what Ben assumes is some sort of pimple cream dotted on some spots on her face, but she’s softer and sweeter than his ex had ever been. He can’t recall seeing his ex in spot cream, ever, or even a pair of loose, worn-out jeans. Then again, they weren’t exactly together long, and didn’t spend much time at each other’s places. He wonders, briefly, if he would’ve ever seen her like this. 

Heart aching briefly, he turns his attention back to his giggling daughter as he continues to bounce her, hearing the clicks and clanks of Rey’s utensils and stencils. His calves and thighs are burning by the time she taps his shoulder, and when he looks over, she’s set her drawing board aside. Rey grins at him, eager for a break. “Ready, set, go?”

“I’ll wash her, you pull out pajamas,” he says, lifting Amy into his arms as Rey stands and stretches. He hears her back and shoulders pop as she raises her arms above her head, and shakes his head at the soft moan that she lets out at the relief. “Every time. You sound like bubble wrap.” 

“Feels good,” Rey insists, grinning at him as she walks by. “See you in the bedroom?” 

Nursery. He knows damn well that she means nursery, but the question still brings heat to his cheeks as he nods and smiles nervously back at her. “Yeah, see you there.” 

“Ba-ba,” Amy babbles, reaching for Rey. 

“That’s right, bath time,” Ben replies, whisking her away into the bathroom. He gets out the small blue tub that fits into the bigger tub, and starts the water, holding his free hand out to make sure that the temperature’s all right. Once it’s filled, he undresses her and sets her into the water. 

Almost immediately, he’s splashed as he reaches over to get the bath toys he’d bought just the other day to keep her from doing … well, what she just did. 

He blinks at the sudden feeling of wet cotton clinging to his chest, and looks down at his daughter to see her radiant, gummy smile and hear her little giggle. “… that wasn’t very nice, now Daddy’s all wet.” 

She just does it again, slamming her little palms down against the water and splashing his chest, his face, and his jeans. He closes his eyes against the onslaught, and reaches down to grasp her wrists. He pulls her hands up to kiss her fingers. “No, little hands are for kissing and feeling, not splashing.” 

She gurgles again and he rolls his eyes as he reaches for the baby shampoo. Her hands find the water again, and he turns back to her once he’s splashed again. “Hey!” 

The giggle he hears next doesn’t come from his daughter. He looks up to see Rey standing in the doorway with the hooded baby towel, and watches as she leans against the frame. “Having trouble?” she asks, her smirk barely concealed.

“Little bit,” he mutters, looking back towards his traitor daughter. Her hands find the pink rubber ducky after a moment, and he’s saved as her attention’s caught by it. She’s not quite strong enough yet to squirt it, and he’s thankful for that as he wipes her down and washes her hair. He gets a bit more soaked just from bathing her, but it was to be expected, honestly. None of his clothing is safe anymore, not when he has a baby.

By the time she’s cleaned and he’s lifting her out of the tub, his t-shirt’s pretty much soaked through, and his jeans are uncomfortably damp. He wraps her in the towel Rey offers him and hoists her into his arms, looking at the brunette. “Can you dump it?” 

“On it,” the young woman replies, nodding and switching places with him as he carries Amy into the bedroom. 

Rey’s set out the arsenal; diaper cream, powder, diaper, footed pajamas, lotion, everything. Ben sets his daughter down on the changing table and smiles as she calms once he starts rubbing lotion on her. She settles, looking around at the nightlight that’s casting stars on the ceiling. 

“Twinkle twinkle little star…” he frowns and stops with his hands on her little tummy. “… what the hell is that next line?” He knows this, he’s recited this dozens of times, but of course the words fly from his mind when he needs them the most.

“Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky,” Rey finishes from behind him, wiping her hands on a handtowel and tossing it into the hamper beside the changing table. “Really, Ben?” 

“Mind blank,” Ben admits with a shrug as he moves up to Amy’s arms, lavender lotion smell smacking him in the face. Everything smells like lavender and baby powder, nowadays. “I’m not much of a singer.” 

“Well, we’re going to have to fix that, aren’t we?” Rey asks, smiling as she repeats the first verse, voice soft and sweet as Amy stops trying to put her foot in her mouth and stares at the girl instead. 

She has a pretty voice. It’s a lot prettier than his, at any rate, and a lot more soothing if the way Amy stills under his hands is anything to go by. He tunes out Rey’s soft singing, focused on tucking his daughter into her diaper. He tugs the footed pajamas up and slips her arms through, kissing her stomach to hear her little laugh as he zips up the pajamas and scoops her into his arms. She rests her head on his shoulder almost immediately, and he notices Rey’s soft smile as she comes up to kiss Amy’s head. 

“I still have a few more sketches to do,” Rey explains. “Want to watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ben says softly, barely above a whisper. “There’s not much to eat in terms of dinner, but there’s cheese and crackers and chips and salsa and things like that.” 

“Sounds great,” she replies, pressing another kiss to Amy’s cheek. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sweet dreams.” 

Amy’s too tired to even babble, and Ben smiles as Rey leaves the room. 

He takes a few moments just to walk around the room with her, his lips pressed to the top of her head and rocking her slowly in his arms. When she’s settled, he moves and sets her down in the crib. She goes down easily, and he smiles at the sight of her arms above her head and her legs spread in a complete starfish position. 

“Night, love,” he mutters before leaving the room, grabbing the other end of the baby monitor and closing the door behind him. 

He walks out and finds Rey with a can of salsa and a bag of chips. He settles down next to her, her legs spread out along the couch and feet just barely touching his thigh. She reaches over, offering him a chip and a glass of water with a smile. 

“We’ll have to turn it really low,” he says, of the movie. He can see that she’s picked the first Harry Potter, the first scene just starting. She must’ve paused it and waited for him. 

“Subtitles,” she explains, nodding towards the words coming up at the bottom of the screen. “Besides, I’ve seen it a dozen times.” 

“Me too,” he says, starting the movie again with the volume at a barely-hearable level. 

They get through the first one. Rey switches positions halfway through, tucking her legs to the side and leaning against the back of the couch instead of the arm as she continues to work, her pen between her lips. Ben spreads out a bit more, stretching his arm out along the back of the couch in an attempt to get more comfortable. She selects The Chamber of Secrets almost immediately after The Sorcerer’s Stone finishes, and he can barely keep his eyes open for the first fifteen minutes. 

It’s not his favorite out of all the movies, but Rey seems to enjoy it. He enjoys hearing Rey’s soft intake of breath at the suspenseful moments, her little laughs at Ron even as she shades pipes and sheets of metal. She sets the drawing board aside after the twelfth sketch, shaking her hands and smiling sheepishly. 

“Cramps,” she explains, and he just smiles and nods before looking back to the frozen Hermione. 

With the drawing board set aside, Rey’s free to splay how she wants, and he nearly stops breathing as she chooses to move closer. She leans into him a bit, her arm against his, and he doesn’t dare move in fear of making her scoot the other way.

His t-shirt’s still wet, his jeans still damp from bathing his daughter. Ben’s about to get up and change into something more comfortable and a little drier, and get a bit more water, too, when he feels Rey rest her head on his shoulder. 

Ben freezes, not wanting to move in fear of dislodging her. He glances down to see that her eyes are closed, dark lashes against her freckled cheeks. Her breathing’s slow and even, and he realizes that she must’ve fallen asleep and tipped onto him. Ben watches her for a few more moments to see if she’ll wake up, but she remains asleep; a soft, warm weight against his shoulder. 

He smiles a bit, resisting the very real urge to press a kiss to her forehead like he’d done when Amy fell asleep on his shoulder just an hour or so before. Instead he tries to turn his attention back to the movie, but pays more attention to his hammering heart and the girl sleeping on his shoulder than the visuals and dim audio. 

When she wakes about a half hour later, it’s due to Ben shifting to give his numb arm a bit of relief. He nearly jolts when he feels her move, and then she’s apologizing. 

“Oh, my God, what time is it? I’m sorry, I should’ve left,” she insists, voice low as she struggles to keep her yawn down. 

“It’s fine,” he says quietly, smiling as she tries to reorient herself. She rubs at her eyes as she sits up, and he immediately misses the warmth of her next to him. She yawns again, reaching up to pull her hair from the buns. It falls around her shoulders, slightly kinked from the hair ties. 

“I need to get some sleep,” she mutters, running her hand through her hair. “I still have more sketches to do.” 

“Can’t you do them tomorrow?” he asks, brow furrowing in confusion. “Put Amy in her swing for a bit?”

She stops and blinks, face quickly forming a confused frown. “… Oh, yeah, I can do that.” 

He laughs and stands, offering his hands to her. She takes them and he hauls her up, smiling down at her as she slips her ratty old sneakers back on. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” he asks.

She grins. “Definitely.”

He waits at his door like he always does, making sure she gets into her apartment before retreating back into his with his heart lighter and cheeks a bit warmer.

 

**6 months, 3 days**   
**Sunday**

Is it a bit ridiculous? Yes. 

Would he be humiliated if anyone found out? Most likely. 

But she just looks so damn cute, bouncing in her little jumper toy and grinning at him as he tries to make scrubbing the kitchen and cleaning the dishes a bit more entertaining by dancing. Just a little. 

_Coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine – gotta gotta be down, because I want it all._

Amy bounces a bit as the chorus comes on. Ben grins, watching her through the window in the kitchen as she sits in the jumper and watches her daddy, smiling around her fist. 

It’s, admittedly, one of the catchiest songs he has on his iPod, bought years ago. And Amy seems to like it, grinning and ‘dancing’ as best as she can while strapped in the ocean-themed jumper.

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss,” he sings softly, wiping the counter so that it’s free from the apple pouch mush he might’ve squeezed too hard. With the counter clean, he pops the trashcan open to the beat and throws the paper towel in, looking towards Amy to see if she’d seen the shot.

She hadn’t, too busy with the hanging octopus that’s captured her attention. He grins, glad she’s entertained for the time being. The jumper’s been a godsend the past few days, with him getting things done around the apartment to make it feel more … well, theirs. 

She isn’t quite sitting up yet, but she’s working on it. He has no doubt that she’ll manage to do it while he’s at work; after all, that’s what happened with the rolling over. He worries he might miss her first word, too, but has no doubt that Rey will catch it on video for him if he does. 

“Now I'm falling asleep, and she's calling a cab while he's having a smoke, and she's taking a drag,” he mumble-sings, just as his phone rings. He reaches for the device across the kitchen, turning the song off of the speakers and putting it to his ear. “Hello?” 

“Ben!” 

“Hi, Mom,” he greets, grabbing another wipe and wiping down the handles of the fridge, somewhat sticky from the afternoon’s lunch of mashed squash ending up more on his hands than in Amy’s mouth. “How’s it going?” 

“Good. How’s our granddaughter?” 

Ben snorts as he wipes down the front of the fridge. “Really?” he asks teasingly. “You don’t want to hear how your son’s doing?” 

“Well, how are you doing?” 

He snickers again, shaking his head as he tosses the wipe away, watching his daughter through the hole in the wall as she bounces a bit in the jumper, tugging on one of the shiny seaweed spirals. “I’m doing great, Mom. Finally got Amy’s room together.” 

“And how’s our granddaughter?” Leia asks again, and this time Ben just grins. He walks out to the living room and leans against the wall, smiling as Amy presses a button on the jumper that plays some little ditty of a tune. 

“She’s good. Hasn’t quite learned to sit up yet, but is getting there. Babbling a lot. No words quite yet, but maybe soon?”

“In a few months. 9’s usually the start,” Leia explains. “Any ‘Da-da’s yet?” 

“Not yet,” Ben admits, walking over to sit cross-legged next to his daughter. He smiles and spins one of the toys on the jumper, watching as her eyes are immediately drawn towards it. His smile turns into a full-out grin and he does it again, the toy rattling a bit as it spins.

“… any ‘Ma-ma’s?” 

“Not yet, either,” Ben mutters, smile falling a bit as he stops the toy from spinning and touches it to see if Amy will do it by herself. She leans forward, small fingers touching the toy before she clumsily spins it. Ben’s grin returns. “Good, very good!” 

“What did she do?” Leia asks, and Ben’s grin broadens at his mother’s eagerness. 

“Spin the toy on her own,” he explains. “You said something about coming down, soon. Any thoughts on that?” 

“Well, your father and I were doing some thinking,” she says, and Ben can hear the trail off that says there’s more, “and we were talking about maybe coming down next weekend?” 

“I mean, I don’t exactly have another bedroom…” he admits. “I have a sleeper couch, if you and Dad are okay with that.” He frowns, looking over at Amy as she tries to pull the dangling clownfish into her mouth, lips barely fitting around its tail. 

“I’m sure we can manage,” Leia says, and Ben knows just by her tone of voice that she’s smirking slightly. “Han’ll sleep in the Falcon if he has a problem with it.” 

Ben just snorts, shaking his head at the mention of his dad’s old sports car. “I don’t doubt it. Any timing in mind?”

“We’ll drive down Saturday morning, stay Saturday night, drive back Sunday evening?” 

“She’ll be happy to see you,” Ben replies, watching as Amy spins the toy hard enough to prompt the music and lights again. “We’ll see if she recognizes you.” 

“We’ll see,” Leia replies, and Ben can hear the smile in her voice. “You sound like you’re having fun. I’ll talk to you later?” 

“Sounds good. Bye, Mom. Love you,” he says, hanging up as soon as his mother gives her own farewell. He turns the music back on and stands, bending and scooping Amy into his arms. 

“Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis … ” 

His mediocre singing is accompanied by a butt wiggle, and bouncing Amy a bit to the beat. He grins as she giggles, holding her with one arm and using his other hand to move her little hands to clap to the beat as the chorus continues. He grins down at her as she laughs again, a shrill sound that’s nearly ear-splitting but makes his heart soar. “There we go!”

She giggles, and he bounces her a bit more, wondering briefly how she came to be his and in awe that she is. 

 

**6 months, 1 week, 1 day**   
**Friday**

Ben can tell when big projects are due. It’s not that Rey gets more irritable, because she somehow manages to be a ray of sunshine even when there are dark circles under her eyes and she’s wearing the same shirt as yesterday. But there’s a noticeable difference in her demeanor, the slightest dimness to her usually bright smile.

[I’m not going to class], she’d texted him, around 4. He’d frowned at the words, typing back a quick [Why?]

[Tired.] That was her response. 

He hadn’t heard from her since. He still received the picture of Amy in her little bouncing jumper, grinning gleefully at the Nemo hanging from one of the coral branches, but as far as speaking to Rey herself he’s gotten nothing. 

Time slips away from him. He has more work than he realized, and he texts Rey telling her where she can find the carry-out menus if she needs them, and a promise that he’ll reimburse her. 

He gets a simple [Thanks. Take your time!] in response, and smiles at the smiley face emoticon that comes soon after.

It’s almost 7:30 by the time he’s sliding his computer and the file folders into his briefcase. Hux is still working, and Ben walks over to pop his head into the other man’s office. He knocks, the sound brief, before he blurts, “I’ve sent Parker’s things over to First Order. Hoping to get a response tonight, but I’ll forward it to you when I get it.” 

The other man just hums, and Ben accepts the small sound as the Hux version of, “Good night, good work, see you tomorrow.” 

He makes his escape after that, incredibly happy to be making his way home. 

\- 

There’s no “Daddy’s home!”. 

He stops in the doorway, unnerved by the silence. There’s the soft ambient crackle of the baby monitor, the hum of the noisemaker from Amy’s room. 

There’s no sign of Rey on the chairs, or on the couch – from what he can see, at least, since he’s facing the back of it. 

He frowns deeply and sets his briefcase down as quietly as possible on the floor, toeing his shoes off and kicking them to the side before walking forward. A soft shuffle to his left as he passes the seating area catches his attention, and his gaze snaps to the couch. 

And there’s Rey. 

There are blueprints all around her, thin pieces of paper covered in marks and notes and blue pencil. She has a few papers smushed beneath her cheek, sure to leave crinkled marks on her skin once she sits up. She’s curled up on the couch, breathing slow and even. Undoubtedly passed out. 

He snorts in amusement, shaking his head and walking quickly into the nursery to check on Amy. She’s conked out as well, on her back with her arms – as always – above her head. He smiles at his sleeping daughter, not daring to touch her in fear of waking her. Instead he just looks over the railing of the crib, watching her sleep for what he’s sure is long enough to be kind of creepy before leaving the room and walking back out. 

Rey’s still asleep, not having moved at all since he last saw her. He watches her for a moment before turning and making his way into his own bedroom. He’ll need to wake her up in a few minutes, he knows, but he can let her sleep during the time it takes for him to change into more comfortable clothes. 

When he comes back out in sweatpants and a t-shirt, she still hasn’t moved an inch. There are still papers beneath her cheek, still writing utensils tucked in her buns, and he’s pretty sure he can see Sharpie marks along the skin of her jaw from the small open pen she’s lying on. He walks over, looking down at the pretty girl and loathing the idea of waking her up. 

He’s not sure how long she’s been asleep, but he can guess from the fact that she hasn’t moved and her breathing pattern that this is the longest, deepest sleep she’s had in … he doesn’t really know when. 

He knows that the big project’s due next Friday. He knows that she has time over the weekend to complete her work in the labs. He knows that, if worse comes to worse, he can ask his mom if she’ll stay for another day or two so that Rey can use her time during the day to work instead of take care of Amy. 

And he also knows that she needs this, needs sleep. Preferably sleep that’s not on an IKEA couch. 

He doesn’t have a key to her apartment, and carrying her while opening the door would be impossible anyway. His options are to leave her on the couch, or carry her to his own bed. If he carries her to his bed, he can then take the empty sleeper sofa, which he needs to get ready for his parents anyway. 

Ben bites his lip. It’s the easiest way, honestly. 

He pulls the Sharpie away, first, careful not to leave another black dot on her skin. He smiles a bit at the slight mark that the pen left before lifting her just enough to get the papers beneath her cheek. Setting her back down, he smooths the papers out as much as possible, setting them with her others before reaching down and pulling the writing utensils out of her hair. They come out easily, thankfully, and he sets them aside to put away with the others after he carries her to bed. 

She’s adorable, honestly, with crinkled paper marks and Sharpie dots along her cheek. Her brow is smoother than he’s seen it in a week, and though he can tell that she hasn’t been getting much sleep, she looks better. He smiles a bit as he bends, sliding one arm under her back and the other under her knees. He lifts her into his arms relatively easily. She’s heavier than he would’ve expected, more muscle than he would’ve thought for someone so small. His smile broadens just a bit as she shifts and rests her head on his shoulder. 

It’s a moment of incredibly self-indulgent weakness, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. But it feels right to give it to her, his lips pressed against her hairline as he carries her from the living room into his bedroom. He might slow his steps a little, telling himself he’s being quiet for the two sleeping girls in his apartment when really he’s stalling to keep her in his arms for as long as possible. She’s a comforting weight, sleep-warm and soft in his grip, and he’s reluctant to put her down.

She moves a bit in his arms at the kiss, but doesn’t wake. Her little sleepy hum sounds more like some sound Amy would make, and it makes him chuckle softly as he walks her into the bedroom. His covers are already a mess from that morning, since he’s not one to make the bed each and every day. He’s grateful for it, now, grateful that he doesn’t have to pull the covers down to slip her beneath them. He sets her on the mattress, carefully laying her on the pillows before pulling the sheet, blanket, and coverlet up and over her shoulders. 

Much to his relief, she doesn’t wake. Instead, she curls into the warmth of the blankets, and he can see her feet shifting beneath the covers as she gets comfortable. 

He knows she’ll probably wake and leave before he gets up in the morning, but hopefully she’ll get some amount of sleep before she makes her escape. 

It feels strange to watch her, like he’s encroaching on something private and almost intimate, so he walks to the bathroom and quickly brushes his teeth. He does it quietly and slowly, not even daring to turn the electric toothbrush on in fear that the buzzing will wake her. 

She’s still asleep when he comes out, and he turns the lights out in the bedroom and the hallway as he leaves. He casts one more glance back at her, just to make sure she hadn’t thrown the covers off while his back was turned, before retreating to the living room. 

It’s still early, at least by his standards. He’d eaten a salad from the cafeteria at the office, so he’s sated for now. The apartment’s quiet, and he hates to break the silence as he walks over to the couch. 

No. No, he won’t pull the bed out now. He’ll work for a bit, maybe hit a few hundred words out on his novel before he goes to bed. He grabs his briefcase and lugs it over to the desk, leaning it against the side and pulling his laptop out. 

He sets it down as quietly as he possibly can before pulling out the file folders, opening the drawer and shoving the ones in it aside to make way for the new. 

In the process of pushing the other files aside, he catches a glimpse of the silver frame, and freezes. 

He stares at the woman in the picture for maybe half a moment before he’s slamming the file cabinet shut so hard he freezes, eyes widening in horror as he realizes what he’s just done. “Shit…” he whispers, waiting for all hell to break lose. 

Ben waits one heartbeat, two heartbeats, three heartbeats. He can feel them in his throat, pounding away as he waits, frozen, for the shriek that he’s sure will come. 

Four heartbeats. Five heartbeats. 

Still silence. 

He calms down slightly, eyes darting to the baby monitor near the sofa where Rey’d left it. It’s still crackling slightly, but there’s no cry of distress. There are no soft footsteps, either, no sound of his bedroom door opening. He stays still for a moment more before allowing himself to relax, nearly slumping onto his desk. 

She doesn’t cross his mind as often as she probably should. Sure, there’s the occasional twinge of regret, the wish that she’d stayed so that Amy could actually have a mother figure, but that thought’s usually cut short. 

He doesn’t hate her, or her decision. He’s actually incredibly grateful that she chose to carry Amy all the way through. It was a case of the 1%, the odds of protection having been in their favor but still failing them. 

A month of dating turned into a few weeks of figuring out what the fuck they were going to do, and then several long months of awkward silences and doctor’s appointments and legal documents and mutual talks when needed. He can’t hate her, not when she’s given him Amy when she was totally in her right to deny him. 

Not when she made the decision at a time when he wasn’t even sure he wanted a baby, when he would have gone with her to the appointment and been in full support of whatever she decided. 

No, he can’t hate her. Not when she was kind enough to smile and say, “You want one, don’t you?”, and give him Amy. 

Ben sighs, reaching for his laptop and opening it. Immediately after logging in, he’s greeted by his background photo; Amy on Rey’s lap, grinning. He can see the first tooth starting to cut through on her lower gumline, the little bit of white beneath the skin. And then his gaze shifts to Rey briefly, taking in her hunching so that she can be in the picture as well, and her sweet smile before he opens the text file.

 

**6 months, 1 week, 2 days**   
**Saturday**

It’s 9:30, and she’s still not up. 

He wonders just how much sleep she’s been getting as he spreads more bacon on the pan, adding to the small pile he already has. The pancake beside him hasn’t yet bubbled up, so he turns to look at Amy who’s in her little seated entertainer, tapping at the monkey hanging from the green plastic ‘vine’ in front of her face. He smiles as she slaps her little palm against one of the banana-shaped buttons and a soft monkey sound plays. 

“Good job, sweetheart,” he mutters, knowing full well she can’t hear him as he returns to check the bacon and pancakes. He’s about to flip the pancake over when a knock on the door startles him into nearly dropping the spatula. He looks towards the clock, frowning. Still 9:30, or just about. 

Next weekend. Parents. Shit, they’re here already? 

He turns the stove down and rushes to the door, yanking it open and blinking down at his mother, nearly a full foot shorter than him and carrying a small white suitcase. Ben looks towards his father, who has the other larger two suitcases and a box tucked under his arm.

“Uh, hi?” Ben offers, blinking down at Leia as she reaches up and tugs on his arm to pull him down. He’s given a cheek kiss, and he kisses her cheek back before looking up at Han. “I thought you guys said you were leaving in the morning?” 

“We did,” Han grumbles. “We left at around 5.” 

“Shit,” Ben mutters, running his hand through his hair. “I … I didn’t expect you so soon.” 

“Got enough bacon for all of us?” Han asks, squeezing past. Ben snorts, shaking his head at his father as he bends to kiss his mother on the cheek again. 

“Good to see you, Mom,” he mutters, pulling back and smiling as he takes the suitcase from her. She looks as beautiful as ever, greying hair pulled back into a loose bun and dressed in a pair of jeans and a white sweater. Her smile’s soft as she steps inside, looking around. 

“There’s a lot more furniture than I expected,” she teases before she makes a beeline for her granddaughter. Amy’s stopped playing and is instead holding the monkey to her mouth, eyes wide as she stares at Han, who’s crouched beside her. 

“I forgot how fast they grow,” Han mutters, and Ben smiles as he takes the suitcases and sets them behind the couch. He walks back over to the kitchen to check the bacon and pancakes. “How old is she now?” 

“6 months,” Leia replies immediately as she kneels beside the entertainer. Ben looks up and sees her stroking Amy’s cheek, and catches sight of Amy’s gummy smile as she kicks her little legs, not quite able to touch the ground quite yet. “Oh, look, she’s getting her first tooth! Is she whining yet?” 

“Not really,” Ben admits. “I read that the first four are the easiest. And then the molars happen.”

“You were hell teething,” Han says. “I told Leia to put some whiskey on your gums to stop you from screaming.”

Ben watches as his mom rolls her eyes and looks towards her husband. “Han,” Leia says, voice warm despite the irritation seeping through it. “That was generations ago. They make medicine that does the same, now.” 

“Whiskey’s usually more accessible.” 

“Maybe for you,” Leia mutters, turning back to her granddaughter. “She looks like you.” 

“No, she looks more like her mom,” Ben mumbles as he flips the pancake over and turns the bacon, standing a few feet away as it spits at him. “Someone thought Rey was her mom at IKEA.”

Leia frowns. “Really?” she asks. “I think she looks like you.” 

Ben shrugs as he waits for the pancake to finish on that side, glad he’d accidentally made a bit more batter thanks to being sloppy with his measurements. “Are you guys hungry?” 

“Starving,” Han says from nearby, and Ben looks over to see his father steal a piece of bacon from the towel-covered plate. “Woman let me have coffee but nothing else.” 

“I asked you if you wanted to stop for doughnuts.” 

“I don’t like sweet,” Han mumbles around the bacon as Leia scoops Amy up from the jumper and carries her over, smiling brightly. Ben gives a smile of his own as he watches Amy play with his mother’s necklace; a big, smooth crystal piece, polished and shiny. 

“Careful, she likes sticking things in her mouth,” he warns just as Amy lifts it to her lips and starts to mouth at it. 

“Why do you think I wore it?” Leia asks, smirking a bit. “It’s too big for her to swallow, and the chain’s the thickest I have.” Still, she keeps her fingers close as Amy continues to mouth at the jewel. Ben smiles and turns back to the pancake, flipping it. 

“Oh, and you must be Rey!” 

The pancake falls just to the side of the pan, near the burner. “Shit,” Ben hisses as he scoops it up to keep it from catching the flame, setting it on the pan again. 

Disaster avoided, his eyes snap to the hallway where a wide-eyed Rey is standing, in the sleep-crumpled clothes from the night before with her hair loose around her shoulders. “Um-“ she starts, voice soft.

“Hey.” It comes out as a breath as he looks at her before he realizes how this probably looks to his parents. “Uh-“

“If you told us you had a girl spending the night, then we would’ve come over later.” Ben grimaces at the smugness in Han’s voice, looking towards his father to find him smirking as he steals yet another piece of bacon. 

“I, uh … “ Rey starts, eyes still wide as she points to the door. “I can go?” 

“Ben’s already made breakfast,” Han pipes. “Stay a while.” 

Ben sighs, raking a hand through his hair. “Mom, Dad, Rey Jakksun. Babysitter.”

“Babysitter who sleeps over.” 

“Han,” Leia chastises. 

“She fell asleep after working on a big project due next Friday,” Ben explains quickly. “I didn’t want her curled up on the couch, so I let her take my bed and I took the pull out. I needed to get it ready for you guys anyway, so it made the most sense.” 

Rey still looks like she’s having trouble waking up, eyes wide and a bit unfocused as she looks between Han and Leia, unsure of where to go. So she turns to Ben instead. “I’m sorry I fell asleep,” she insists, shaking her head. “I should go, I need to-“ 

“Have breakfast with us,” Han insists, leaning against the wall with a can of Diet Coke in his hand. Ben frowns, looking towards his fridge and trying to remember when he saw his dad open it. “There’s plenty. We can make more batter if we need to.” 

“You mean I can make more batter if I need to,” Ben mutters as he watches his dad shrug. 

“Han, don’t pressure her,” Leia scolds as she bounces Amy, who’s starting to get a bit fussy in her arms, reaching for Rey. “We’d love to have you, if you want to stay.” 

“I need to take a shower,” Rey protests, but Ben can already hear her resolve weakening, and his heart does little fist pump as she smiles and nods. “I’m just going to shower and change quickly and I’ll be right back, I promise.” 

“Good. Someone seems to want you,” Leia teases, looking down at Amy who’s still looking over at Rey. The college girl grins and walks over to press a kiss to the top of Amy’s head. 

“I’ll be right back, okay? Thank you for the invitation,” she calls as she grabs her keys from the table near the door and leaves, closing the door behind her. 

Ben’s not even given a heartbeat of silence before his parents assault him with questions and statements he thinks it’s way too early in the morning for. 

“She’s hot, good job.” 

“Han, don’t be crude. She is lovely, though, and very sweet.” 

“Did you really sleep on the couch?” 

“Yes,” Ben insists firmly, glaring at his father. “Yes, I did. It’s not like that, okay? She’s just taking care of Amy while I’m at work. There’s nothing going on. She fell asleep on the couch working on her project, I carried her into bed, and I slept on the couch. Stop it, okay? Nothing’s happening, and nothing’s going to happen.” 

For a moment, all he can hear is Amy’s soft babbling around the stone necklace, and he looks towards his parents again. They’re both staring at him, his father smirking and his mother … also smirking, he realizes, the expression unfamiliar to him. 

“You want something to happen, though,” Leia replies knowingly, and Ben resists the urge to slam his forehead into the closest hard surface. 

“So what if I do?” he mutters as he turns back around to set the pancake aside on a plate and pour a new one. “She’s in college, Mom. She’s too young.”

“What does she do?” Han asks. 

“Sustainable industrial design,” Ben replies. “At Republic University.”

“She should talk to Luke, he’s at Achto, in Washington state,” Leia says. “I’m not sure how much of it is sustainable, but he’s engineering and philosophy?” 

“I’m not sure how much of her is philosophy, but I can ask if she wants to email him or something,” Ben admits just as his father steals another piece of bacon. He slaps Han’s hand with the spatula, significantly harder than he would have if it were his mother. “Stop it.” 

“Hey, it’s for your mother!” Han insists. 

“I’m all right, darling, thank you.”

“All right, then, it’s for me,” Han mutters, and Ben rolls his eyes as his father gives his signature smirk and takes a bite of the strip of bacon. 

Amy starts to fuss a little, and Ben looks over as Leia starts to soothe her with soft shushing sounds and some bouncing on her knees. The little girl immediately cracks a smile at the movement, and Ben smiles as well as he turns back to the pancake, flipping it again. 

“She’s the one who’s been taking the pictures and stuff, right? The one you told us about over the phone?” Han asks, voice low. 

“The same,” Ben replies, looking over to his father as he nibbles on the bacon and leans against the counter, watching Leia and Amy. 

Han hums a little, not tearing his eyes from his wife and granddaughter as he asks, “Anything from Kate?” 

Ben stops, the spatula underneath the pancake. He flips it quickly before setting watching it sizzle. “Nothing.” 

“No texts, no calls, no emails? Just gone?” 

“I think she’s still in Manhattan, last I heard,” Ben mutters. “That was when she was leaving after having Amy.”

“She hasn’t contacted you?” 

“I don’t see why she has to,” Ben admits as he flips the pancake over to check it and then sets it aside with the rest of them, covering them with a dishtowel to keep them warm. He pours a new circle of batter into the pan. 

“I mean, Amy’s her daughter.” 

“And I’m her father,” Ben growls as he watches the bubbles start to form in the batter. “And I think I’m doing a damn good job without her.” 

Already he regrets it as he flips the pancake. Han is already fired up, it seems, because he says, “You know that wasn’t what I meant, you know that damn well.” 

“I haven’t heard from her,” Ben says, looking up towards his father. “That’s all I can tell you, Dad.” 

Han stares at him, eyes hard for a moment before he turns back and walks towards where Leia is still bouncing Amy, but her gaze is towards her husband and son. 

Ben looks at his mom, her concerned gaze, before he sighs and looks back down to the pancakes. 

“How’s work, Mom?” he asks, wanting a desperate change in subject. 

“Good, just sent a few more chapters to the editor,” she replies, lifting Amy a little and smiling as the girl coos. “There’s a lot of research for this one.” 

“When’s it take place?” 

“French Revolution,” she replies. “A tale of rebellion and murder, thrown in with some feminist motives, some gay lovers, and some doomed soul mates.” 

“And as usual, dramatic as all hell and weird as fuck?” Ben asks, quoting her own words from a few years ago as he looks over his shoulder after lifting the pancake to test its side. 

“You bet your ass,” Leia says, grinning as she strokes Amy’s cheek and then tickles her, leading to shrieking laughter echoing in the kitchen. Ben grins back.

“Sounds intense.” 

“Not as intense as fatherhood,” she teases, smirking at him as she continues to tickle her granddaughter. 

“Debatable,” he teases back as he grins at his mother, flipping the pancake once more and turning as he hears the door open. 

Rey’s hair is still damp, pulled up into a loose bun. She’s in a more fitted t-shirt than she usually is, though, and her jeans are darker and bear significantly less holes and less marker-stains than the ones he’s seen before. Her eyes look bigger, too – makeup, he thinks. A little bit at least. He blinks as she rushes back in, grinning brightly.

“Sorry about that,” she apologizes, and Ben can see the flush on her cheeks as she strides up to Han and offers her hand. “Rey Jakksun.” 

“Han Solo,” Han replies, smirking as he takes her hand and shakes it. 

Ben watches as her eyes immediately widen. “Han Solo?” she asks. “Guitarist of Parsecs?” 

“You’re too young to know us, kid, but yeah,” Han says, smirking as he nods. 

“I didn’t know anyone still listened to your music, Han,” Leia teases as Rey turns to her. Ben watches as the sitter smiles at Amy turning towards her, little arms towards the brunette. “Yes, sweetheart, she’s back.” She offers Amy to Rey, and the college girl takes the baby in her arms, smiling. “I’m Leia Organa.” 

“The writer?” Rey asks as she adjusts Amy to sit on her hip. 

Leia nods. “The very same.” 

“We had to read one of your books in my ancient histories class,” Rey explains as she starts to rock with Amy. “It was the only way I remembered the structure of ancient Greek politics. Are you in politics?”

“I tried running for a position in office back in New York, but they thought me too crazy for official things,” Leia teases as she watches Amy coo in Rey’s arms. 

“I didn’t know you had such famous parents, Ben,” Rey says. He can hear the teasing in her voice, and smiles a bit as he finishes up the bacon, setting it aside on the nearby plate. 

The single father shrugs, looking back towards the woman who’s helped him so much in these past few months. “Figures their son would be working a desk job, right?” he asks, offering a weak smile. 

“Fame doesn’t equal happiness, Ben,” Leia teases. “Children do. Well, for me it did at least. Of course, that doesn’t apply to everyone.” 

“Finding the love of your life didn’t give you happiness?” Han quips. 

“Who said you were the love of my life?” Leia snarks back, and Ben snickers as he finishes the pancakes up as well. 

“Stop it, you two.” It’s an order, really, but it comes off more as playful scold as Ben grabs plates and starts to carry them into the dining room. “Breakfast is ready.” 

“Did you make enough for Rey? She looks like she needs to eat more bacon,” Leia says, and Ben watches as Rey’s cheeks turn pink. 

“Well, Dad ate a few pieces…” 

“Hey! Sorry that I was starving!” 

“I told you we could’ve stopped for donuts, Han.” 

“And I told you, I don’t like sweet things.” 

Ben rolls his eyes and glances towards Rey, who’s watching his parents like a tennis match, but at least she’s smiling a bit. She shifts her gaze and meets his, and he’s surprised to see her cheeks flush even more as his parents continue arguing over bacon and donuts and their drive over. 

He could tell Rey that he’s sorry, that he didn’t mean for her to meet them like this, but in all honesty seeing her in his kitchen, holding his daughter in her arms with his bickering parents nearby does something funny to his heart. And he’s not sure he wants it to stop.

\- 

“They’re nice.” 

“Did you mean that seriously or sarcastically?” Ben asks as he scrubs the bacon grease from the pan, looking to where Rey is drying the griddle. 

“Seriously,” she replies, and he looks over his shoulder to where Leia is holding Amy and Han is doing some gruff, manly version of ‘peek-a-boo’. “They care about you and Amy a lot.” 

He knows this. He knows this all too well when his mother got up at 1 and 4 in the morning with him to help soothe Amy, when he returned from the hospital with a newborn in his arms and no partner to help him. When he was running on a half hour of sleep and Han would take Amy from his arms and demand him to lie down in that no-arguing tone of his that Ben hadn’t heard since he was a teenager.

“Yeah,” he mutters, looking back down to a stubborn patch of grease. “Look, about you sleeping over last night-“

“I meant to thank you for that.” It’s a quiet admission, and he glances over at her to see that she’s drying the same place over and over. “You didn’t have to give me the bed, I would’ve slept just well on the couch. Or, really, you should’ve woken me up. I had more work to do, anyway.” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “You’ve been running on Red Bull and orange Tic-Tacs for the past two weeks. You needed a solid night of sleep, sweetheart.” 

_Sweetheart._

He freezes as the endearment slips from his lips. Fuck. It’s something he says to Amy all the time, something he’s heard Rey say too. But he’s never actually called Rey ‘sweetheart’, and a chill runs down his spine as he looks over to her. 

She’s stopped too, her hand still on the griddle. “Sweetheart?” she asks, voice soft and a bit teasing even as her cheeks turn bright pink. 

“Sorry, habit,” he covers quickly as he looks to the pan again. His cheeks and the tips of his ears feel like they could fry another piece of bacon, and he curses even as he hears her awkward laugh. 

“Hey, Ben, how’s about a little shopping trip?” 

“Huh?” he asks, confused at his dad’s offer even though he’s incredibly grateful for the distraction. 

“Grocery shopping, how about it?” Han asks, raising his eyebrows at his son. 

“I’m an adult, Dad, I have food,” Ben replies, frowning. 

“Not much of it. You’re almost out of milk, and you don’t have any fresh fruit in your fridge,” Leia scolds. 

“I have apples,” Ben offers weakly even though he knows that won’t fly with his mother. 

“You need something more than apples, Benjamin. We’re going grocery shopping. Rey, you’re coming, too.” 

Ben lets out a sound that’s in between the pitch of a whine and a groan, and he hears laughing beside him. He looks towards Rey, seeing that her blush has faded and she’s grinning instead. “I’m so sorry,” he pleads, and then her grin broadens. 

“Are you kidding me? I love them,” she replies, and he looks towards his parents as Rey sets the griddle down and walks over to take Amy from Leia. 

And they love you, he thinks, as Han looks at him and smirks knowingly. Perhaps a little too much.

 

**6 months, 1 week, 4 days**   
**Monday**

He feels awful for thinking _Thank God_ when they leave, but he thinks _Thank God_ when they leave. 

On the one hand, the extra help with Amy was awesome. So was the free food, home cooked meals, and the amount of time he spent with them. But the snarking got old pretty fast. It was amusing, sure, but he’s also pretty positive it’s a way of relieving some sort of sexual tension. 

And when it’s between his parents, he’s had more than enough. 

By the time Monday rolls around, he’s actually looking to getting back to work. Some time behind a desk, alone with his thoughts and his paperwork and his emails. No questions about whether he’s eating right, about whether his daughter is eating right, about what kind of powder his daughter likes on her butt, about how she’s growing up so fast and is going to eventually go to college some day. 

That was definitely a conversation and financial wake up call he did not want. 

The day at the office goes on a little too long for his liking thanks to a deadline that Hux pushed up just for the hell of it, and by the time he’s closing his office door and heading home, he feels dead on his feet after a weekend of trying to juggle his mother, his father, his daughter, and Rey without getting wires crossed and without Han and Leia dropping one too many hints to the poor college girl. 

He’s never been so relieved to see his front door in his life. He won’t go to bed for a while, he knows, but at least he won’t be up at 2am worrying if Rey got Han’s crude joke regarding height and the relative size of a particular body part after Ben whacked his head on the too-short archway into the living room.

“Hey, Daddy’s home.” 

There’s no Amy. He’s a bit late, having needed to stay a couple hours to finish the deadline. When he opens the door and shuffles in, he finds that most of the apartment lights are off, and Rey’s sitting in one of the living room chairs with one of her textbooks on her lap. 

“Hey,” he replies softly, setting his briefcase down and walking over to where she is. He stops halfway across the living room. 

She’s wearing his shirt. And, by the look of it, his sweatpants, too, tied tighter with a spare hair tie. 

The shirt’s one of his basics, a white v-neck that he wears under pretty much everything. The neck’s huge on her, almost gaping and revealing a white lace bra underneath. Realizing where he’s looking, her eyes dart down to the cotton before meeting his again. Her smile’s sheepish. 

“Sorry, we had a bit of an accident involving squash mush,” she admits, and nods to where her own dark blue shirt and jeans are folded near her books. “I didn’t want to leave her alone while I went back to my place to take a shower, and my apartment isn’t exactly baby-proofed with my tools lying all over the place. So I just took one here and stole some clothes. Sorry, I didn’t text you about it, do you want me to go change…?” she asks, voice trailing off as she looks up at him. 

“No, no, it’s fine,” he insists, cursing his voice for going down nearly an octave at the sight of her looking so damn adorable in his clothes. “It’s fine, really.” 

And it is fine. Really. It’s no trouble, she can borrow anything she wants, and he understands that his daughter’s a messy one and she’s starting to figure out that her hands plus the food on the tray plus slamming her palms down hard equals a mess that’s hilarious. Well, hilarious to her, at least. 

“How long ago did she go down?” he asks, changing the topic and trying to get his voice to sound as normal as possible.

“About a half hour ago,” she replies, setting her textbook down on the floor. “You want to change? I ordered pizza, there’s still some in the fridge. Pepperoni.” 

Right. Dinner. He’d forgotten about that. No wonder his stomach feels like it’s twisting itself into knots. “Sounds fantastic, thank you.” 

She stands, and his heart skips a beat when he sees the shirt rise a little. And then she’s stretching, and he catches a glimpse of dark blue lace on her hips, just above where the sweatpants are tied off, before she tugs it down again.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I’ll heat it up, you go change,” she says, approaching him and grinning up at him. 

He wonders, not for the first time since meeting her, how she even exists in this world. Or, rather, how she exists in his world. 

“All right.” Damn his voice, really. And his reaction to her wearing his clothes.

She brushes by him, and he hears the sound of the fridge door and a plate being pulled from the cabinet. He escapes after that, heading into the bedroom and pulling his tie from his neck. He sheds his blazer soon after, hanging it before moving to his dress shirt. Once he’s in one of the other white v-necks he owns and a pair of red and black plaid pajama pants, he moves into Amy’s room to check on his little girl. 

She’s sleeping like an angel, on her back with her arms over her head and little chubby legs akimbo. He smiles softly, leaning down to run the back of his forefinger along her soft cheek. She squirms, but doesn’t wake, and in the kitchen he hears the half-beep of the microwave before Rey jumps in it and tugs the door open. It’s barely hearable over the white noise of the noisemaker, and Amy doesn’t wake. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he mutters, voice low to avoid waking her. “I’ll see you in the morning, all right?” 

The little girl doesn’t give him a response, but then again he wasn’t expecting one. He turns and walks out of the room, closing the door gently behind him before walking into the living room. 

Rey’s apparently heated up a piece as well, and is sitting in the chair she’d been in before with her legs crossed and the plate balanced between them. His plate’s sitting on the coffee table, and he sees the glass of ice water with it. Offering her a smile, he settles on the couch and tugs the plate into his lap. 

“How was the test?” he asks, of the test she’d had the night before. 

He’d caught her mid-bite. He watches as her eyes widen in realization that he’s talking to her, and she quickly tries to remedy the situation. He grins as he watches her try to break the cheese string and fail absolutely miserably, left with greasy, cheesy fingers by the end of it. She swallows quickly, cheese string still on her fingers as she smiles at him. 

“Good, I think. I mean, I won’t know until next class, but I studied pretty well, I think,” she admits, pulling the cheese from her skin and dropping it into her mouth. She frowns at her greasy fingers and shifts, pulling her legs up to uncross them. The legs of the sweatpants are much too long, and he notices that she’s cuffed them. Several times, if the thickness of the cuffs is any indication. She stands, and he tries not to watch as the sweatpants slip down, revealing even more blue lace. She yanks them back up quickly, but grins at him instead of blushing.

“I’m getting a paper towel, want one?” she asks, looking back at him. 

“Sure.” It’s barely a word, more like a soft growl, and his cheeks flame as she tears two off and brings them back.

“So, yeah,” she starts, sitting back down. “I think I did okay. I mean, it’s not Teedo, so I’m sure I’ll make some sort of okay grade.” 

He hums as he takes a bite. He’s heard of the teacher from her before, one of the higher ups of the industrial design department. Even though she does well in his class, that doesn’t mean she enjoys it at all. 

They spend the rest of the time in silence, eating their slices of pizza. Ben carries the plates in once he’s finished, and she finishes her glass of soda before standing and bending to gathering her things. He looks steadily at the slowly-melting ice in his water glass, waiting until she’s standing and slinging her bag over her shoulder, holding her clothes to her chest. 

“I can get the shirt and pants back to you tomorrow?” she offers, walking up to the door. He follows, opening it for her and watching as she walks out into the hallway. He notices one of the cuffs coming undone, the fabric brushing the top of her toes. 

“Don’t worry about it, I have a bunch,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s nothing, really, I have plenty.”

“Next laundry day, then,” she replies, and he offers her a smile as he looks down at her. Her dark brown hair’s escaping from the topknot she’d pulled it in, the neck of his shirt’s slipping off her shoulder and revealing a white bra strap, and he has to resist the urge to pull her close to him and see if she’s really just as small and warm against him as he remembers. But he leans on the doorframe instead, one hand on the metal and one hand on the doorknob, keeping himself upright as he looks down at this gorgeous girl. 

“Next laundry day,” he repeats, entirely sure he’s grinning like an idiot. But then she’s grinning too, and nodding, and bidding him goodnight and walking down to her door. He waits, watching her as he always does to make sure she gets in safely even though it’s such a short distance. He catches another glimpse of blue lace as she moves, hiking her bag up and his shirt with it so that she can reach her keys, and groans softly as soon as he hears the door to her apartment close. 

“Fuck…”

 

6 months, 3 weeks  
Thursday

The coughing starts at 1. 

He hears it after her soft cry, and sits up, immediately worried. 

Whooping cough. That’s his first thought as soon as he hears the noise. But then it comes again, and his anxieties lessen slightly. It’s not the same sound; no, it’s somewhat dry and weak, but it’s not the ‘whoop’ that he’d heard when researching the deadly disease out of pure paranoia one night as she rested next to him in her basinet, just a few days old. 

He’s still out of bed immediately, rushing to his daughter’s room. She’s awake and crying, reaching for him as she coughs. He notices her runny nose, too, and hugs her to him. She curls into him immediately, small body bouncing against his chest as she coughs again and starts crying in discomfort immediately afterwards. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” he mutters, pressing his lips to the top of her head and rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her. 

He whimpers softly as she coughs again, worried. He carries her back into his bedroom, looking to the clock. It’s 1 am, far past when his parents would’ve gone to bed, but he can’t exactly call the pediatrician at this time of night. 

Amy coughs, a small sound, before she starts to cry. Loudly, probably enough to wake at least the apartments directly next to him. Probably enough to wake Rey.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he mutters as he grabs his phone and dials Leia’s number. He holds it to his ear as he tries to hold and comfort her at the same time, pressing his lips to her head as she goes into another coughing fit. The sound breaks his heart, and he closes his eyes as she catches her breath and then promptly lets it go in another cry. 

Leia doesn’t pick up. “Shit,” he curses softly as he pulls the phone from his ear and dials again. On the second ring, there’s a knock at the apartment door, and Amy starts coughing again at the same time. He clutches her to his chest as he speedwalks through the apartment. Three rings. Four. Voicemail. 

“It’s okay, duckling, you’re going to be fine,” he mumbles as he props the phone between his shoulder and cheek and yanks the door open. 

He’s entirely not surprised to see Rey standing there, hair in messy waves around her shoulders from sleep and the large t-shirt she’s wearing falling off of her shoulder. A quick glance down tells him she’s not wearing shoes, or pants, but she’s wide-eyed and staring at Amy as she starts another fit. 

“I’m calling Mom,” Ben explains as Rey reaches her hands out immediately, taking Amy from him and cradling her to her chest. The little baby rests her head on Rey’s right breast immediately as Ben runs his free hand through his hair. 

“When did she start?” the college girl demands as she rubs Amy’s back. 

“Ten minutes ago?” Ben offers. “Maybe fifteen?” The phone goes to voicemail again. “Shit.” He dials again. “C’mon, Mom, pick up…” 

“It’s not whooping cough,” Rey insists as she rocks Amy a bit, bouncing as she closes the front door behind her. “It just sounds like a dry cough– it’s probably just a cold.” 

“You think?” Ben asks. “You’re sure it’s not whooping cough or bronchitis?” 

Rey nods her head as Amy starts again before turning her attention to the baby in her arms, making soothing shushing sounds and rubbing at the little girl’s back to soothe her. “We can’t give her anything cough related yet, she’s not old enough.” 

“I don’t have anything anyway,” Ben insists. Two rings. “Does she have a fever?” 

Rey presses her hand to Amy’s head. “Doesn’t feel like it.” 

“Thank God,” he breathes, stopping dead when the line clicks. “Mom?” 

“Ben?” His father sounds incredibly gruff and groggy. “What are you doing, it’s-“ 

“I know what time it is,” Ben insists quickly. “I need Mom, Amy’s sick.” 

“Hold on,” Han says, sounding a bit more awake. “I’ll get her, just hang in there.”

His daughter’s soft cry demands his attention, and he looks over to see Rey holding her, holding Amy upright to help her breathe as she stares at Ben, looking as worried as he feels. “Ben, I-“ 

“I know,” he says softly. “I know, I’m going to ask Mom, all right?” 

“Ben?” 

‘Mom,” Ben breathes. “Amy’s coughing, a lot. We don’t think it’s whooping cough, but –“

“Is she coughing now?” Leia demands, and Ben can hear the shifting of sheets as his mother sits up in bed. “Let me hear her.” 

Amy coughs weakly again and Ben walks over, putting the phone near his daughter. As soon as she finishes the small fit, she rests back against Rey’s chest. The girl presses her lips to the top of Amy’s head as Ben pulls the phone back and puts it on speaker so that Rey can hear the verdict as well. 

“It’s not whooping cough,” Leia explains. “Is her nose running?”

“Yes,” Ben replies just as Rey reaches a part of her t-shirt up to wipe his small daughter’s nose. 

“Did she eat a lot at dinner?” 

“Not as much as usual, no,” Ben explains, walking to stand near Rey. She leans back against his chest as he stands just behind her, the position feeling natural in his exhausted and worried state. Ben reaches around to stroke his daughter’s head. The coughing seems to have stopped for now, but she’s far from sated, eyes closing and breathing uneven but not labored. Rey leans against him, her lips pressed to the top of Amy’s head as his hand finds its way to Rey’s waist in a half-hug, reassuring her.

“It’s probably just a common cold, but you can call the doctor in the morning if you want,” Leia explains. “For now, give her a warm bath. Get some saline nose drops and one of those bulb syringes to help clear her nose – that’ll keep her from coughing, too. If you can, run the shower hot and let her inhale the steam. Do you have a humidifier?” 

“Poe and Finn might have one,” Rey says. “I’ll text them.” 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Leia replies. Ben wonders if his mother’s questioning why Rey is there at 1am, but he says nothing. “A humidifier will help a lot. Try the shower, and be there to comfort her. It’ll last for a week or two, all right? Do you need us to come down again?” 

“If you want to,” Ben says, stroking his daughter’s back as she rests against Rey’s chest. “But I think I have it covered for tonight. Anything else?” 

“Fluids and rest, just like adults,” Leia explains. “And if she can sleep sitting up a bit, that’ll help keep everything from getting stuffed up.” 

“Thank you,” Ben breathes. “Thank you so much.” 

“Call if you need anything else, all right? I’m so sorry I didn’t pick up right away.” 

Ben bends to press a kiss to his daughter’s head. “It’s all right. Thank you, Mom. We’ll text you with updates.” 

“Please do. I love you both.” 

“Love you too,” Ben replies before hanging up and slipping the phone into the pocket of his sweatpants. He reaches for his daughter and Rey lets him take her. He guides her to rest against his bare chest. There’s a cough, but none come after, so he relaxes just a bit even as her nose drips slightly. She snuggles against his chest, and he coos a little before he kisses the top of her head. 

He looks towards Rey, who’s standing there and watching Amy. “I’m sorry we woke you,” he mutters. “Why don’t you go back to –“

“No,” Rey insists, and he blinks at her protest, the tone of her voice firm. “I’m going to go start the shower, all right? Get some of that steam working. Do you still have the pop-up crib?” 

“Yeah?” Ben says, frowning. “What are you thinking?” 

“I’m thinking we get her in the steam for a bit, see if that helps decongest her, and then we’ll put the pop-up crib in your room so you can get her easily if she cries out. I’ll sleep on the couch,” Rey explains. 

Ben doesn’t even have time to protest before she’s off towards the bathroom. He hears the sound of the shower curtain rings against the metal rod a moment later, quickly followed by the sound of running water. 

Amy coughs again, and then once more, before settling into his chest again. He looks down at her and kisses her head. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he mutters against her hair. “I’m so sorry.” 

She cries again, obviously distressed that what usually works right, well, isn’t. He gets it, he does. He looks up as Rey comes around the corner, offering her hands. 

“I’ll sit in the bathroom with her, you make her some formula to keep her hydrated,” she orders gently. He transfers Amy over, watching as she immediately curls into Rey’s chest, her slight fussing stopping when she’s handed over to someone a bit softer.

“I can handle her, I think, if you have class tomor-“ he starts, but she silences him with a glare as she cradles his daughter. 

“Ben. If she’s sick, I’m not going to class tomorrow,” she says. “Formula.” 

“Right,” Ben mutters, turning and walking into the kitchen to start the bottle. By the time he looks up again, Rey’s gone off with Amy and is most likely sitting in the bathroom with her as steam fills the room. 

He fills a bottle with warm formula, screws the lid on, and walks into the bathroom to find Rey sitting on the side of the tub with Amy propped up against her chest. While Amy’s far from asleep, she does seem to be calmer, just resting against Rey’s right breast as Ben sets the bottle on the counter and sits on the closed toilet, watching the two.

“Has she gotten a cold before?” Rey asks, looking towards him. He can see that she didn’t quite get her makeup off all the way, a smudge of mascara on her right cheek. Her hair’s still a mess, and the cut neck of her charity car wash t-shirt’s slipping off of her shoulder. She looks anxious, and he bites his lip as he shakes his head. 

“No, not so far,” he replies, voice barely above a whisper as Rey looks back down towards Amy who’s fussing a bit.

She shushes the 7 month old softly. “Well, it’ll strengthen her immune system, then,” she mutters as Amy presses her hand against where Rey’s t-shirt doesn’t cover. “Poor thing. Here.” 

Ben watches with wide eyes as Rey shifts, pulling the side of her t-shirt down until it’s just barely covering her breast. She guides Amy to rest on her bare skin, and Ben watches as the little girl calms almost instantly at the warm skin-to-skin contact. Rey lets out a soft sigh of relief, and then a little chuckle as she looks up at him, eyes wide in awe and smile soft.

“It helped with BB, or at least that’s what Poe told me,” she explains quietly. “When he had his first cold, Finn held him shirtless for a few hours. I mean, in terms of hygiene and contagiousness it probably isn’t the best idea, but it calmed her down, right? I know it’s supposed to be for moms and dads and their babies right after giving birth, but it was worth a shot… I mean, anything to help her?”

She looks up at him, eyes wide and almost pleading. Of course, right, anything for Amy. Besides, he shouldn’t be surprised that she went right towards the one of them with the breasts. Rey’s probably a lot more comfortable than his pec. “Right,” he says, the sound slightly choked as he watches her hold his daughter. It shouldn’t make his heart quiver in his chest the way that it does. 

He can hear Amy’s sniffling softly, trying to clear her own nose, and the sound of the shower as he watches the gorgeous, wonderful, beautiful woman in front of him stroke Amy’s back and kiss her head. 

“… I wonder what she would do.”

Rey’s lips are still pressed to the top of Amy’s head, but she lifts her eyes to meet Ben’s. She frowns, mouth coming up from Amy’s hair with a soft ‘smack’ as she stares at the father. “What do you mean?” she asks, shifting Amy when she fusses a bit so she can lie against more of her bare skin. Amy coughs once, twice, before settling back again. “What do you mean she?”

“Her mother,” Ben explains softly. “I don’t think the idea of Amy getting sick ever crossed her mind.”

“I mean, she’s a baby. She’s human. She would’ve gotten sick, eventually. She had to have thought of that, Ben,” Rey mutters, frowning.

“I don’t think she did,” Ben says gently. He nods to her bare skin. “She wouldn’t have done that, I don’t think. She wouldn’t have known to do that, or even think of it. She didn’t know much about kids when we got the results. She just kind of … accepted that she was going to have one, but not have to take care of one. She didn’t even nurse Amy.”

“What?” Rey demands as Amy curls into her more, little fist clutched in the soft fabric of the worn t-shirt. “She didn’t nurse her?” 

“Mutual decision,” Ben mutters. “We started her on formula right away.” He shrugs. “I mean, it ended up better in the long run. It would’ve been awful for her to have had her mother’s breastmilk and then have it so promptly yanked from her. I think that might’ve been her mindset, too. Don’t get Amy attached to something she won’t have for very long.” 

“Still,” Rey mutters, looking down towards Amy. She pulls the shirt up so that she can wipe Amy’s nose with it, and then lets it fall back down. Unknowingly, it falls down even farther than before, so Ben’s given a good view of a rosy, perky nipple and pale skin dotted in small, dark moles. Rey doesn’t even seem to notice, though Ben can feel his cheeks flush and his heart rate speed up slightly at the sight of her holding his daughter like that. At the idea of Amy being actually hers. 

She’s a better mother than Amy’s birth mother ever would be, he thinks, watching as she finally realizes and pulls her shirt back up to where it was before. Rey meets Ben’s eyes, and, seeing his pink cheeks, blushes as well. 

“Sorry,” she mutters. “It’s an old shirt I cut, I-“ 

“It’s fine,” he replies quietly. “Didn’t really notice.” 

“She’s breathing a little easier now,” Rey says softly, looking down towards Amy. “Why don’t we give her the formula?” 

“Sounds good,” he mumbles, pushing himself off of the toilet. Rey stands from the side of the tub and Ben reaches around to turn the water off, grabbing the bottle as the college girl steps out of the room and walks into Amy’s. 

“Do you want to hold her?” she asks, glancing towards him. 

He wordlessly holds out his hands, and she transfers Amy over to him. He moves to sit in the rocking chair, propping his daughter up against his arm and offering her the bottle. She starts to suckle as he starts to rock them a bit, watching her to make sure that she drinks. She does, thankfully, so he doesn’t have to worry about that. Her eyes go a little unfocused, no doubt tired after crying and warm and a bit sleepy from the steam and the warmth of Rey’s skin. Still, she drinks, and Ben’s satisfied. 

“I’m going to go text Poe and Finn to see if they have a humidifier. I don’t think we’ll get a response before tomorrow morning, but you never know.” 

“Sure,” he says softly, watching Amy as Rey goes. She returns a few moments later, settling down on the ottoman in front of him, holding her phone and the box of Kleenex. 

“Do you have one of those bulb things?” 

“Top right drawer of her dresser,” he explains. She stands and pulls the drawer out, returning with the white bulb syringe. 

“I’ve done it for BB, if you want me to try it for her?” she offers. 

“Sure. She seems to be done with the bottle anyway. I’ll go put up the pop-up crib,” he says as Amy pushes the bottle away from her mouth, having had her fill. Pleased with the amount that’s gone into her tummy, he passes her over to Rey and stands. The girl moves and sits in the rocker, bracing Amy against her legs and putting the syringe down against the baby’s nose. 

He gets the pop-up crib from the closet in the entryway and drags it into his room. Finding a bare space, he starts to unpack it and put it back together. By the time he’s finished, Rey’s walking in with a tuckered-out Amy against her chest. He leaves off the changing table, knowing that they have the one in the other room. 

“That helped a lot,” she says quietly as Amy reaches for her father. Ben takes her and holds her against his chest, delighting in the feeling of his daughter against him. She curls up, snuggling against his heart as his hand comes up to rest against her back. She’s warm, he thinks, but not fever warm, and for that he’s grateful. “I’ll go out to the couch. Spare blankets?” Rey asks.

“Hall closet,” he replies. “Take a pillow from my bed, I don’t need them all.” 

“Thanks,” she whispers, leaning forward to kiss Amy’s onesie-covered back before retreating out of the room. Ben watches her go before turning and placing Amy gently in the pop-up crib with her pacifier. Tired from coughing and in general not feeling well, she goes down easily. He watches her for a moment, reaching for her when she coughs a bit, but then her breathing evens out. 

His heart does a funny little hiccup in his chest as he watches her. Of course she would get sick. Of course. She’s human. She’s a baby. Babies pick up things and put them in their mouths all the time. She could’ve gotten it from Rey touching something at school, or from him touching something at work. Of course she’s going to get sick. 

He was an idiot to think he could protect her from everything. From sickness, from grief, from hurting. 

His own heart aches as he reaches down to stroke her cheek, her mouth slightly open to breathe better and pacifier nearly falling out. He smiles a bit when she moves her head to get it back in, and pulls his hand back, watching her for a moment longer before going to check on Rey.

He walks out to the living room, briefly, to see that Rey’s made herself at home on the couch. She has two blankets draped over her bare legs, and he can see the light of her phone as she presumably texts Poe and Finn. He watches her for a moment, lingering near the wall before he turns and goes back into his room. 

Ben climbs into bed, listening to his daughter’s soft breathing as he slips beneath the sheets and tries to get comfortable again. It honestly doesn’t take long, not with the knowledge that his daughter’s better and the tired ache that’s setting into his bones. His heart is still aching for her, yes, but exhaustion overcomes his worry, and before he knows it, he’s drifting off to sleep again. 

\- 

It feels like he blinked. It honestly feels like he only blinked, but as he hears his daughter coughing again he looks towards the clock and finds that only 20 minutes have passed. He groans softly, rolling out of bed as he hears Rey walking into the bedroom, bare feet light on the floor.

“I’ve got her,” Rey soothes softly. “Go back to sleep.” 

He gladly does. 

\-   
The next time he wakes, it’s 2:40. The last time he checked the clock, it was 2:10. He’d gotten a half hour. 

Amy’s crying out, but not coughing, so that’s a good sign. He pushes himself off of the bed and is by the crib by the time Rey stumbles into the doorway, half asleep. 

“I have her,” he assures her. “You can go back to bed.” 

“Are you sure?” she whispers. “I can take her.” 

“You took her last time; go to bed,” he says, and watches as she just nods, running a hand through her hair before turning and leaving. He watches her go before looking down at Amy and grabbing the syringe that Rey must’ve left on his bedside table. It doesn’t take long to unblock her nose again – he has the feeling that, with the shower, it’s just all coming out at once and eventually they’ll get all of it. 

He wipes her nose with one of the soft tissues once he’s finished, emptying the syringe into it and tossing it in the wastebasket by his bed before rocking her slightly until Amy goes back to dreamland. With her nose clear, she falls asleep again easily, and he can go back to bed. 

\- 

3:20. 

“I’ve got her.” 

He can hear Rey’s soft shushing sounds as Amy coughs, still congested despite their efforts. 

\- 

4:00.

He’d hoped that she would’ve stayed in bed, having not heard Amy’s soft cry, but as he scoops his daughter into his arms Rey walks in, looking exhausted from running back and forth between the couch and the bedroom. 

“I have her,” Ben says softly. She nods sleepily, rubbing at her eye with the back of her wrist as she turns to go. “Rey-“ 

“Yeah?” she asks, yawning and blinking blearily at him. “What’s up?” 

“… just stay in here,” he offers, stroking Amy’s back in an attempt to soothe her back to sleep after being woken up by her own failing nasal passageways. “It’s a queen, there’s plenty of room for both of us.” 

That seems to wake her up. She frowns, staring at him. “Are you sure?” she asks, jerking her thumb back towards the living room. “It’s fine, the couch is comfy, I’m sleeping well-“ 

“Don’t bullshit me,” he scolds softly. “You’re running back and forth between the living room and here every time she wakes up.” 

“It’s not that much distance,” she protests before she shrugs. “Which side do you sleep on?” 

“Left.” 

“Great, I’ll take right.” 

He watches as she leaves and returns with her phone and the pillow she’d taken out earlier. Still holding Amy to his chest, he watches as she puts the pillow on the left side of the bed, crawls beneath the covers, and is promptly asleep as soon as she curls up. He smiles a bit as Amy fusses and then calms, and then he’s putting his daughter back into her crib and sliding beneath the covers as well. With the way they’re positioned, Rey’s closer to Amy – he has the feeling he’ll be fighting her over that, soon, but for now it works if they’re going to be switching turns like they have been. 

It doesn’t take him long to succumb again. He wonders if it should’ve been harder with another person in his bed, if it should’ve been more awkward or more difficult considering the last time he slept with a woman beside him. But instead it’s comforting, and he falls asleep easily with her beside him. 

\-   
4:40. 

“I’ve got her.” 

He just hums softly, listening to the shifting of sheets as she gets up. He opens his eyes a bit, watching her in the soft moonlight as she scoops his daughter up and sits on the side of the bed with the syringe and Amy braced against her legs. 

Ben can hear his daughter’s soft sniffling, and the sound of the syringe sucking what’s plaguing her out of her nose, and Rey’s soft muttering as she soothes his daughter as best as she can. Amy’s too tired to protest at the intrusion of the syringe, and seems to have made the connection between it and the removal of what’s ailing her. By the time he wakes up slightly, Rey’s already putting Amy back down and crawling back underneath the covers. 

She’s facing him, but her eyes fall closed almost immediately. He watches as her chest rises and falls, her lying on her side so that he can see her sleeping face clearly. She’s sweeter, like this, though he didn’t think it possible. He desperately wants to reach out and pull her close to him, to see how she’d feel against his chest, but he keeps his hands firmly on his side. 

She’s better than anyone he could’ve ever asked for, or could ever achieve. 

He closes his eyes, letting sleep take him again. 

\- 

5:20. 

He doesn’t wake to Amy’s crying or coughing. No, his daughter seems to be fine – her crib’s quiet aside from her slow and even breathing. 

No, he’s woken by his own accord, and by the soft weight on his chest. 

Ben glances down and his breath nearly catches in his throat as he sees that Rey’s apparently snuggled up to him, her head resting on his chest and her arm draped over his waist. In turn, he’s put his arm around her waist as well, and has apparently been holding her for the past few minutes. 

She feels softer, warmer, than he could’ve imagined. Her hair’s in tangles around her shoulders and across his chest from tossing and turning because of Amy, and as he moves his hand slightly lower he can feel that the loose t-shirt’s budged up enough that he can press his hand against her bare lower back. He doesn’t, though, because that would be crossing a very very inappropriate line, to be touching his daughter’s babysitter – even as close as they are. 

He just holds her, watching her sleep on his chest before Amy starts coughing again. It’s a short bout, five at most, and she seems to go back to sleep pretty easily, but Rey’s already on alert, eyes opening and finding the position she’s in. Her cheeks turn red pretty much immediately when she looks up to meet his gaze. 

“I-uh…” she starts. 

“She’s fine, go back to sleep,” he insists softly, pulling her back down against his chest. “If this is comfortable, go for it. We’re gonna need the best sleep we can get over the next few days.” 

“… you’re right,” she admits, and rests her head back on his pec. He watches her as she closes her eyes, and within minutes she’s asleep again. 

It takes him a bit longer, though not for lack of prompting. Sleep’s tugging at the back of his mind, his eyes barely staying open, but he wills himself to watch her for a few more moments before he finally lets sleep take him. 

 

**7 months, 2 weeks, 1 day**   
**Friday**

“Poe and Finn are bringing over the humidifier. I asked them if they could also pick up orange juice, apple juice, saline drops, and some boxes of Kleenex to help keep her from running too badly.” 

“You’re an angel,” Ben whispers from where he’s lying on the bed. Amy’s asleep on his bare chest, slightly propped up in his arms to keep her from getting too congested again. He glances towards Rey, who strolls in wearing a pair of black yoga pants and a tank top. She’d gone back over to her apartment in the early hours of the morning to shower and get dressed, and retrieve her phone charger and her homework so that she could work while they take care of Amy. 

She slides a paper towel towards him, three strips of crispy bacon on it. “And I figured it was my turn to make bacon, seeing as you did made it last time I spent the night here.” Her tone is teasing, smile bright. 

“… how do you exist?” he questions, genuinely shocked as she just grins, somewhat cheeky as she slides onto the bed beside him. 

“How’s she doing?” she whispers, lying beside him to gaze at his daughter. Amy’s face is turned towards her. Ben’s propped up slightly, letting his daughter sleep on her stomach and keeping a watchful eye on her breathing as she lies on him. 

“Pretty good. Breathing seems to be better so far,” he says. “She hasn’t coughed in a while.” 

“Thank God,” Rey mumbles, faceplanting into the pillows before pushing herself up again. “Thank you for letting me sleep here, by the way. It was a lot easier to hear her and get her while in here.” 

“Thank you for even staying,” he replies, glancing over. “You’re getting a hell of a bonus this week.” 

She just snorts, shaking her head as she reaches out to stroke Amy’s downy hair. “Don’t worry about it. I was worried for her. I’m glad she seems to be getting a bit better.” 

Rey pushes the bacon towards him before climbing off of the bed. “Eat. You’ll need it,” she insists, grinning before she walks out of the room. 

He watches her go, before glancing down at his sleeping daughter. “… I don’t deserve her, you know that?” he mutters, barely over a whisper as she stirs slightly on his chest before going back to sleep. 

 

**8 months, 2 weeks, 5 days**   
**Tuesday**

Amy’s much better than Thursday. Though she’s slightly congested, Rey sends him updates throughout the day and tells him how much better she’s doing. The coughing’s completely gone, and she’s eating a bit more and is a lot more energetic than she’d been before. 

“Great,” he breathes in relief when the next paragraph of a text comes through, informing him of his daughter’s condition. “Fantastic.” 

“Solo.” 

His eyes snap to the doorway of his office, and he finds Hux leaning against it. “Yeah?” 

“I need you to work late tonight.” 

“I can’t, Hux, I need to get home. Rey has class.” 

“Can you get someone else?” the redhead asks. “We have a deadline on Friday. We need to submit at least 15 new prospects to Snoke.” 

“How many do we have now?” Ben asks, frowning as he runs his hand through his hair. 

“6.” 

“Fuck,” the father curses, fingers clenching against his scalp. “… why can’t you stay?” 

“I’m meeting with Snoke to try to get him to extend it to Saturday,” Hux explains. “I’m hoping to hell we can get the extension, but no promises.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben mutters. “Okay. I … I’ll call Rey and ask.”

The phone call is short. She needs to go to class, but has enough time to drop Amy off. Fine, perfect, wonderful, Ben tells her as he continues to panic, shifting papers and trying to find files in the mess that has become his desk in the past 45 minutes. 

He doesn’t even hear the first knock. He doesn’t hear the second, either. He’s unaware of her presence until he hears the “Knock knock?” she offers, a bit louder than her knuckles against the door.

Ben’s eyes dart up, and he blinks when he sees his girls. He scolds himself immediately for thinking his girls. Amy is his. Rey is very much not. “Hey,” he breathes, standing and walking to the door where Rey has Amy in her arms, the stroller in front of her with a folded portable jumper in the seat. “How was she?” 

“How do you think she was? A little angel,” Rey teases. He can see that she’s dressed, now, in a tank top and a long open sweater and jeans. “I have to get to class.” 

“Yes, of course,” Ben says, taking his daughter into his arms. She’s bundled to the nines against the chilly weather, and he’s grateful for it as he kisses the top of her head. “Good luck, hope you get there in time.”

“I have a half hour, it’s a 15 minute train ride, I’ll be fine,” Rey explains, grinning, and he can see her backpack slung over her shoulder. “Sorry I can’t take her with me.” 

“Hux will just have to deal with it,” Ben mutters, seeing the redhead watching the exchange with a displeased look. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Absolutely. Good luck with the deadline,” the college girl exclaims, grinning before she’s turning and tearing off back down the hallway. Ben can vaguely hear her calling for the elevator doors to be held open, and then he has an eyeful of tall redhead before him. 

Hux looks smug as Ben shifts Amy in his arms. “So, the babysitter,” he says simply. 

“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t,” Ben grumbles as he feels Amy tug on his tie gently. He knows, though, that he has to hand her a toy soon before his tie turns into a noose. Girl’s got a surprisingly strong tug. “There’s nothing going on.” 

“So if I were to ask if she’s single-“

“She’s not,” Ben lies immediately. 

“And you’re a liar,” Hux replies, and Ben feels himself flush a bit as Amy tugs a little harder on his tie. “But don’t worry, she’s not my type.” His smile isn’t exactly kind, but it’s not as smug as it was before, and Ben watches as the man turns and makes his way back to his corner office. He’s so distracted by his own thoughts that he doesn’t realize his tie only needs one more tug to become suffocating, and as such nearly chokes when Amy gives it another sharp pull. 

“Ow, no, sweetheart, Daddy likes breathing.”

 

**8 months, 3 weeks**   
**Thursday**

He wakes up at 3am to his phone blaring. 

Ben frowns, looking towards the device in confusion before looking to the alarm clock next to it. No, it’s not morning, yet. And besides, his clock goes off before his phone does. 

The ringing stops for a split second before the screen lights up again, and he reaches for the phone, catching the R and the y of Rey’s name on the screen before he’s swiping across and putting it to his ear. “Rey?” 

“Is she okay?” 

That has him sitting up immediately, shoving his glasses on his face. The brunette sounds absolutely panicked, near tears as he sits up and shoves himself out bed. “Amy?” he asks, standing on still-somewhat-asleep legs, waddling a little as he makes his way to the nursery. A peek inside shows his sleeping daughter, arms and legs spread like a starfish as usual. The nightlight’s still going, scattering stars across the ceiling and soft blue across her face. He can see her little stomach rising and falling, her body snug in a pale pink sleeper with stars all over it. He frowns, closing the door behind him. “She’s fine, why do you ask?” 

He can hear Rey sigh in relief, and it sounds almost like a sob. He can hear sheets and blankets rustling, and frowns as he makes his way into the living room. “I just … I had a dream…” she tries, sounding even more panicked than before, and his heart lurches. 

“Rey, Rey,” he tries, keeping his voice calm and smooth as he leans against the wall. He can’t speak too loudly out of fear of waking Amy, but he tries his best as he hears Rey try to even her breathing. “Rey, sweetheart, calm down for me, okay? Amy’s all right. She’s fine.” He doesn’t care that he just called her sweetheart, only caring about getting her to calm down.

“Is she breathing?” Rey demands.

“Yes, I saw her,” Ben replies. “But if you want to come over and check, you can.” 

There’s silence on the other line, and he knows she’s considering it. He pushes off from the wall and walks over to the front door, unlocking the handle. “The door’s unlocked,” he says simply as he steps aside to wait, crossing his arms. 

“Thank you.” It’s a soft breath, and all he gets before the line is cut. Within minutes of putting his phone back into his sweatpants pocket, he hears the jiggling of the handle, and then the door is being pushed open quietly. 

Even in the dark, he can see that Rey is a complete and utter mess. Her hair is down, tangled around her face and some pieces stuck to her forehead, and her eyes are wet and puffy. Whatever the hell that dream was, it must’ve scared the crap out of her. 

“C’mon,” he mutters, jerking his head towards the hallway. She sniffles, and makes a beeline for Amy’s room. 

The noisemaker and nightlight cover the girl’s footsteps, and Ben lingers in the doorway as Rey steps inside the room and hovers over Amy’s crib for a few moments. He can only imagine what Rey dreamt to have such a reaction, to have the immediate need to see Amy, and frankly he doesn’t want to think about it. So he decides not to, instead choosing to just watch as Rey bends a little to stroke Amy’s cheek before she’s turning and walking back to him. He can see that she’s been crying, her tears shining in the light of the nightlight, and she laughs softly and without humor as he closes the door behind them to let his daughter sleep in peace.

“I’m sorry,” Rey insists immediately, and he can tell she’s still a little choked up. “I dreamed she wouldn’t wake up, and you were at work, and I couldn’t get a hold of you, and I couldn’t feel her pulse, and she wasn’t breathing and-“ She cuts off, unable to breathe or speak properly as she wipes her tears again with her sleeve.

Ben sighs, stepping forward to wrap her in a hug. He gets it. Of course he gets it, he’s lost count of the nightmares he’s had, of the times he’s stood over his daughter’s crib to make sure she’s still breathing, sometimes for hours on end until his feet ached and his hands cramped from holding onto the crib tight enough that the plastic creaked. With how much time she’s spent with Amy, and how much she cares for his daughter, he’s not surprised. 

Her arms wrap tightly around his waist, and she buries her face into his t-shirt covered chest. He can feel tears soak the cotton immediately, and bends to rest his cheek on top of her head, feeling her frame shaking. Of course she’d be upset. Of course it scared her half to death. The best thing he can think to do is have her see Amy alive and well, like she just did, and to hug her. 

“I’m sor-“ she starts, the sound choked and barely audible, but he just hugs her tighter as she continues to cry into his chest. 

“You have no idea how often I’ve had them,” Ben mutters against the top of her head. She smells like lavender, like the lotion he rubs on his daughter to get her to sleep. He wonders if that’s where the nearly-empty bottle went. “It’s okay. She’s okay. That’s all that matters.” 

Her next breath is a shaky thing that seems to rattle her entire frame, and he reaches up to cup the back of her neck, fingers massaging her nape gently. She sighs again, and as she calms down, he relishes in the fact that he’s holding her. Shit circumstances, to be sure, but having her in his arms is a comfort and one of the sweetest things he’s felt in a while. 

“You want chocolate milk?” he asks suddenly, and there’s a heartbeat of silence before he can hear her laughing a little against his chest, watching as she pulls back, smiling through the tears. 

“You have chocolate milk?” she questions, moving one arm from around his waist so that she can wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. The other stays, though, hand clenched in the back of his t-shirt. 

“What kind of question is that?” Ben asks, purposefully keeping his tone light like he uses with Amy. “I have milk and I have chocolate syrup, of course I have chocolate milk.” 

Her laughter is beautiful after her tears, and he smiles as she shakes her head at him, but doesn’t say no. “All right, fine, I’ll have some chocolate milk,” she replies, smile brighter. 

She still hasn’t let go of his t-shirt, and he hasn’t let go of her. 

“All right, sweetheart, chocolate milk it is,” Ben mutters, once again using the endearment, this time a little purposefully. If she’s bothered, she says nothing as he lets go of her and makes his way towards the kitchen. She keeps close, hopping up onto the counter as he gets two glasses.

He opens the fridge, and she laughs as he’s blinded by the light of it, blinking and wincing at it. “Fucking hell,” he mutters as he blinks and grabs the gallon and the syrup quickly. 

“Sorry,” Rey says, but she sure doesn’t sound like it as he sets the two glasses beside her. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure you are,” Ben grumbles, but he’s teasing as he pours the milk and squirts the syrup into his before handing the bottle to her. “Choose your own chocolate level.” 

She laughs again, and makes hers significantly more chocolatey than his. He wonders if she should be having sugar this late before remembering that she spent the entirety of her midterms week running off of energy drinks and candy, and then he decides that a glass of chocolate milk isn’t too horrible. 

He stands next to her, the gallon and the squirt bottle between them. There’s silence, the only sounds their breathing and the ambient noise coming from the baby monitor he has set up in the living room. 

Ben gets through half of his glass of milk before he feels a tug on his t-shirt, and he looks over to see that Rey’s fingers are pulling at the hem of it. She has that look in her eyes that she gets when she’s thinking, when she has a brilliant idea. He’s seen it when she decided to attach a hook to the back of the high chair to hold spare bibs. He’s seen it when she realized how to fix the icemaker in the fridge. He’s seen it dozens of times, now, he’s sure, but it never fails to take his breath away. 

“Yeah?” he asks, sliding over to her so that she’ll stop tugging on his t-shirt. 

She says nothing and instead scoots closer so that her arm is brushing his. And then she leans over, and rests her head against his shoulder. 

So her brilliant idea this time was to sleep on him. He’ll take that. 

“Sorry I woke you up.” 

It’s a quiet thing, barely above a whisper, and Ben sets his glass of milk down so that he can wrap his arm around the college girl leaning against him. She goes against him immediately, and he instinctively goes in to kiss the top of her head. She just sighs, and he rubs up and down her arm, feeling her warmth through the soft cotton of her sleep shirt. 

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” he mutters against her hair. “I’ve lost track of how many nightmares I’ve had where she didn’t wake up. It’s fine. And you’re welcome to come over any time to check on her, okay?” 

She snorts softly. “I won’t break into your apartment just to make sure she’s breathing,” she teases. 

“It would make me feel better if you did,” Ben confesses. “Because that means you care about her enough to come and see if she’s okay, even if it was just a dream.”

“Still, I don’t want to scare the crap out of you by opening the door when you’re not expecting it,” Rey admits, and he shrugs. 

“Just text before you barge in,” he proposes, and he hears her laugh a little before she leans against him again. 

He has no idea how long they sit in the kitchen. He has no idea how long she leans against him, breathing slowly and listening to the noise of the baby monitor. He doesn’t care, really, what time it is when he sends her off back to her apartment and sets the glasses in the sink. He doesn’t look at the clock, and he doesn’t register the time when she texts him with a simple ‘thanks’. 

All he cares about is the heart emoji that comes afterwards, right after the ‘thanks’, and the grin that refuses to fade even as he closes his eyes. 

 

**8 months, 3 weeks, 2 days**   
**Saturday**

“Are you absolutely sure you can handle her?” 

“Please, Rey tells us she’s an angel constantly,” Poe scoffs, grin bright as he reaches with eager hands for Amy, who looks just as eager to go to him. Sometimes Ben wonders if she enjoys Poe’s company more than her own father’s. But he just grins as well and watches as Poe takes his little girl, his lips immediately finding the top of her head. “God, I miss this smell.” 

“Baby smell?” Ben asks knowingly, handing over the bag full of everything his daughter will need for the night. Well, plus some extras. The pop-up crib is already in Poe’s pickup, the car seat in the minivan. The checklist on his phone takes up the entire screen with baby items, and even then he’s entirely sure he’s missing something. 

“Yeah,” Poe replies with a chuckle as he cradles Amy close. The little girl immediately starts playing with his stubble, in awe of the scratchy hair against her tiny palms. “You like that, huh? Yeah, Daddy doesn’t have stubble, does he?” 

Ben smiles at the other man, watching as his daughter becomes completely enraptured in the feeling of Poe’s stubble, his leather jacket that’s apparently a shared thing between Finn and him, the soft cotton of his t-shirt. “She likes you a lot.” 

“You like Uncle Poe, huh? You wanna come spend the night with us? You wanna come spend some time with BB?” The man’s voice drops into a coo, and though not all of his fear abates, a good bit of it is swept away by the warmth in Poe’s tone. 

“You really don’t have to take her,” Ben protests, but he’s cut off with a stern look from Poe. 

“Let the princess spend the night in another tower,” Poe insists. “The King needs a night to himself. Go out, have fun, go dancing or something. Or whatever you do with those long limbs of yours.” 

“Not dancing,” Ben mutters as he watches his daughter tug on one of the loops on the leather jacket. “Writing, with some wine and some takeout.” 

“Also a good plan,” Poe replies. “But I was thinking something with some female company.” It’s accompanied by a wink.

His heart does a funny little hop-skip-plummet thing in his chest, and he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, cheeks burning. “I don’t know, Poe, she’s … she’s still in college. I don’t think-“

“I didn’t even mention Rey,” Poe says, smirking. “But seriously, Ben, it’s your decision as to whether to date again,” he continues, all playfulness dropped for something a bit more serious. Ben looks up and finds that he’s still bouncing Amy, but his gaze is focused on the single father. “And you’re doing just fine as a single dad, I swear. But there’s a certain someone who may be interested, and I don’t want you to push her away because of a stupid age difference. You’re both consenting adults, Ben.” 

“That’s not it,” Ben mutters, reaching his hand around to run it down his face. “That’s … that’s not it, Poe, I just-“ 

“Just think about it,” Poe replies, voice quieter now. “Something open, maybe, to start? Something just fun.” 

“So you’re saying fuck buddies. That’s a nice thought, Poe, but I don’t need-“

“I’m saying very good friends with some potential benefits that include more than just sex,” Poe insists. “Like kissing and cuddling and affection that goes beyond fucking.” 

“Poe, I don’t need-“

“I know you don’t need, but you want. C’mon, Ben, you look like a lovesick puppy when you look at her. It’s a wonder she hasn’t figured it out herself.” The older father has the audacity to wink at him before he grins back down at the little brunette in his arms tugging at one of the loops of his jacket. “All right, princess, say goodbye to Daddy.”

“Text me if you have any issues, I’ll be up and have the ringer as loud as it can go,” Ben promises as he reaches forward to kiss his daughter’s chubby little cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow, duckling.” 

“Oh my God, that’s fucking precious, duckling? Why didn’t I think of that?” Poe asks, grin bright as Amy tries to reach for her father. “BB’s excited, he loves her.” 

“I’m sure she’ll learn to love him too,” Ben teases as he pulls back, feeling as though he’s left his heart in her tiny little hands. But this is good. It’ll be good for her. New place, new toys, new people. Somewhere outside of their apartment and the farmer’s market and his office. Somewhere with new things to learn and see and experience. “Call me if you need anything, I promise, I’ll be right there.” 

“Uh huh, sure,” Poe replies off-handedly, already beaming as Amy giggles when he bounces her a little. “Have fun doing boring writing things!”

Ben’s smile is slight as he watches her go, listening to Poe make exaggerated “boo!” noises every time he pretends to drop her, and hearing her giggle echo down the hallway even to the elevators. 

It’s going to be a long night. 

\- 

He couldn’t have predicted how strange it is to be alone in his apartment. It’s a little eerie, if he’s honest. As small as his daughter may be, she’s still another person, and he finds himself lonely as he walks to his desk with takeout from that Japanese place he never splurges on, leftovers aplenty and a beer in his hand as he settles at his computer. 

He can watch TV without worrying about her getting screen time too young, he can listen to whatever music he wants. He can get more writing done without the crackling of the baby monitor next to him, and he can indulge in some quiet time to himself. 

How rare that is, nowadays.

Ben turns his stereo up a little higher, soft and slow music playing to guide his muse through the emotional scene he’s been pecking at for the past two weeks. Nothing quite feels right, and he hums, frowning as he chews on the end of his glasses, staring at the screen. Two revisions so far tonight, an hour and a half gone, his beer bottle empty, and he’s no closer to something he’s happy with. 

He’s so engrossed in the text file in front of him that he startles when he hears the knock on his door, and he frowns, checking the clock. Nearly 7. He already has his food, he hasn’t gotten anything from Poe or Finn. Still … “Returning her already?” he teases, his voice louder to call through the thin walls as he stands, walking to the front door and opening it. 

“You didn’t tell me they were getting her for the night,” Rey teases, her arms crossed over her chest and her brow raised, mock-irritated as Ben stares down at her, his own eyebrows raised nearly beneath the wave of dark hair on his forehead. 

“Uh, I didn’t think it mattered?” he asks, incredulous as she swipes on her phone and shows the nearly twenty videos of his daughter. Poe’s contact name is at the top, and he blinks as she smirks. 

“He’s been sending them all night,” she explains, smirk turning into a bright smile. “I figured I’d see what her daddy was up to.” 

“Writing,” Ben says simply. “But you’re welcome to crash. I ordered from Sakura, there’s leftovers on the kitchen counter.” 

“I don’t want to interrupt your muse,” Rey teases, holding up her hands, but she’s grinning. 

“I haven’t had one in weeks, you’re not interrupting anything,” Ben insists, stepping aside so that she can walk in. He notices her tank top, the shorts that look like they’re from some high school sport. Comfy. Casual. She’d planned a quiet night in, too. “I swear, I’ve rewritten this scene like 8 times,” he groans as he runs his hand down his face and closes the front door behind him. 

Rey hums, walking into the kitchen and fetching a plate and utensils. He joins her, watching as she grabs the bottle of red wine that Leia grabbed when she and Han came down. He hasn’t opened it, yet, but he’s glad someone is as Rey rummages through the junk drawer for the rarely-used wine bottle opener. “Maybe another set of eyes?” 

“Maybe,” Ben mutters as he leans against the counter, leaning against the counter as he watches her grab a glass from the cupboard and pour herself a portion. “Can you make that two?” 

“Sure,” she replies, grabbing another and filling that one with the deep red wine as well. “Well, what’s it of?” 

“An emotional scene between the hero and the heroine. The last four chapters have been building up to it, and I want to make sure it’s perfect,” he admits, taking the glass of wine she offers him and watching as she takes a sip before she serves herself some spicy green beans from the black plastic container. “A kiss feels too soon, but then when do I put it?” 

“Hmm, how action-y is it?” she asks, snagging one of the beans and biting it with a ‘snap’. 

“Somewhat?” he offers, groaning. “I would call Mom, but her kisses are a little-“ 

“Graphic, I remember,” Rey teases as she finishes her portion and reaches for the teriyaki beef. “Well, what happens before that?” 

“Dancing,” he admits. “Which I don’t know how to write, either.” 

“It’s simple. Make him step on her toes occasionally, sway side to side, done,” Rey explains as she takes another bean from the container. 

“Not that simple. I need to accurately write a Venetian waltz.”

“Viennese waltz?” the brunette asks, and Ben stares at her confused face before he groans, his hand finding his forehead as she laughs. 

“Yeah, that,” he mutters, listening to her laugh as she reaches for some of the shrimp rolls he’d bought. 

“Don’t know how to help you with that one, I only know the awkward swaying of the required one slow dance at prom,” she explains before she takes another sip of her wine. 

“Writing that would be easier than writing this,” Ben grumbles. “I just make him step on her toes a few times and it’ll be relatable.” 

“Two left feet?” Rey questions, smirking behind the lip of her wine glass. 

“More like four,” he replies, watching her as she sets the glass down. 

“I doubt that,” she says with an amused snort, holding out her hand. “C’mere.” 

“Wait, what?” 

He’s given little time before she’s grabbing his hand from his side and guiding it to her back, skin warm beneath the thin cotton tank top. This should not be happening, he thinks as she takes his other hand and holds it out, her other going to his shoulder. Her smile’s bright, though, and he doesn’t have the hear to let her go, not when she’s holding his hand so tightly. 

“C’mon, you know what to do,” she teases. 

“No, no, I really don’t,” Ben mutters, blinking at her behind his thick–framed glasses. 

“You step,” Rey explains. 

“Where?” 

“Oh, for – c’mon, follow my lead,” she insists, and even though she sounds annoyed, he can hear the laughter in her voice as she guides him into something he’s pretty sure will never be seen in any competition. It’s some weird scramble of steps, and he spends most of the time looking down at their feet, trying not to step on her small ones and – has she always had that tattoo? 

“And turn,” Rey goads, and then she raises his arm to spin beneath it before pressing even closer, grinning. “You’re getting the hang of it, see?” 

“This isn’t a Viennese waltz,” he insists. “I can’t see this helping.” But he smiles, sure his cheeks are flushed as he tries a side step and she follows him with ease. “But it’s fun?”

“There we go,” Rey coos, in the same tone she uses with his infant daughter, and he laughs as he steps backwards, her feet following his. 

He spins her again without her guiding him, and grins at her surprised laughter as she moves out and then comes back in, her back to his chest and his hand reaching for hers. “Where’d you learn that one?” 

“Romantic comedies I used to watch with my mother because Han never watched them with her,” Ben explains as he turns her around again and guides her back against him. “Figured you would know it?” 

“It’s a basic move,” she teases as her hand finds his shoulder. “Poe uses me as practice for his and Finn’s wedding.” 

“Are they engaged?” Ben asks, voice going up in surprise. 

“No, but they want to get married,” Rey explains. “He’s been using me as his guinea pig for dancing. He’s pretty good. Ish.” 

“The Great Poe Dameron? Only pretty good-ish at something? I’m shocked,” Ben jokes, and he laughs as she smacks him on the shoulder. “But seriously, the man’s good at everything. Hair styling, facial hair, looking like a sex god in just a leather jacket and a t-shirt, parenting…” 

“Your hair somehow looks good without styling, I can’t imagine you with facial hair, you’d look like that too if you wore your jacket more often, and you’re a great father,” Rey replies, voice softening a little as she looks up at him, their dancing more like soft swaying now as her hand creeps up to cup the back of his neck. He’s hyper-aware of her playing with the soft waves of his hair, brushed that morning and abandoned until now. “… you doubt yourself that much?” 

“You would think Poe was her father and I was the sitter with how excited Amy was to go to him this afternoon,” Ben mutters, tasting something bitter behind his tongue. He doesn’t blame the other father, no, not one bit. Poe, Rey, and Finn are all sunshine personified. Bright, upbeat, funny. Making his daughter smile and laugh in ways at which he rarely succeeds. Yeah, sure, cuddles are great, and he gets his own share of peals of giggles, but her excitement when she sees one of them, the way she nearly pitches from his arms to get to them whenever they meet…

“She hasn’t seen him in a while, and she loves him,” Rey explains gently. He refocuses his gaze on her, blinking down at the beautiful girl in his arms who’s still guiding him to sway to the slow beat of some sappy song he’d put on in hopes it would help him write the damn scene. “Yeah, he’s a great dad, but he’s not her dad. You are. And she loves you so, so much. You’re doing a great job, Ben. Really. And to be on your own, having no idea what you’re doing, and she’s thriving as much as she is?” 

“I’m not on my own, though,” he interjects quickly before she can go on some rant about how it’s just him and Amy. “We have you.” His heart stutters in his chest. “I have you.” 

There’s a moment where he’s sure all he can hear is his own heartbeat roaring in his ears, her breath and his, and the song playing distantly from his stereo before she’s reaching up on her tiptoes and pressing her lips to his. 

Fuck it. 

His hand tightens in the fabric of her tank top, clenching against her lower back as he lowers the hand that was holding hers out. That hand immediately finds her back as well, and she uses hers to cup his face, both of them pressed to his jaw as she kisses him fiercely. He can still taste the damn spicy teriyaki sauce on her lips as he holds her tighter, her hand slipping up and into his hair as she tugs him down. He has to bend to her, but he doesn’t give a damn as he kisses her back, his head feeling light. 

He’s not sure how long it lasts. He loses track of how many times she pulls only to kiss him again, can’t remember how many times his hand has roamed up and down her bare back, having slipped beneath her shirt. Her own hands are holding his face and clutching his hair, keeping him down to her before he pulls back, breathless with his glasses a little crooked. 

Her eyes are wide, lips pink and parted and pretty as she stares up at him, and he finds himself switching his gaze between them, her flushed cheeks, and her dark eyes. “I … shouldn’t have done that,” she whispers, her hand sliding down to clench in his t-shirt. 

“Why?” he asks. He’d said it thinking it would come out as a growl, but instead it comes out as a whisper. 

“I … don’t know?” she admits. “I mean, I’ve wanted to do that for months, but I know you don’t want-“

“What? I don’t want what?” 

“I don’t know, you don’t want a relationship? You think I’m too young? Poe said you said so.” 

“Poe needs to keep his pretty mouth shut,” Ben mutters lowly. 

“But Poe also said we’re both consenting adults-“ 

She doesn’t finish whatever she’s about to say. Her tone is sultry, her eyes lingering to his lips, and damn it, Poe did say that, didn’t he? Ben leans down and kisses her again, his hands tightening on her hips as she grips his shirt, the other still in his hair as she pulls him to her. 

It’s almost too easy to lift her into his arms, to set her on the kitchen counter – thankfully the one that doesn’t hold takeout, he’d never forgive himself if he accidentally sat her in a sushi platter. He can feel her nails along his back, scraping gently against the cotton of his t-shirt as he steps between her parted legs, sucking on her lower lip. 

“We should talk about this,” he mutters, lips sliding to her jaw. 

“We should,” she breathes, hand slipping up to clench in his hair again. “Later?” 

“Later,” he agrees, hands finding her waist as he pulls her against him and slips one hand up her tank top to feel her bare skin. He kisses at the soft skin beneath her jaw, dragging his teeth against it. His breath hitches as he hears her quiet moan, and he moves back up to kiss her again, slower this time. Not quite so heavy, or so desperate. And God, he really is coming off as desperate, isn’t he? 

“… you said you’ve wanted this for months?” he asks once he pulls away, her arms still around him. 

Her flushed cheeks turn even darker. “Yeah.” It’s a soft little admission, and it makes him grin as he kisses her again. Just a sweet, chaste peck, but it’s incredibly rewarding when he pulls away and he hears her desperate whine. All right, so they’re both desperate. He can work with that. 

“Me too,” he mutters, this time low and almost rough. “Fuck, I’ve found myself desperate to even kiss your cheek…” 

Her laugh is soft, her hands loosening in his shirt and his hair as she reaches to cup his cheek and damn, he didn’t realize how much he wanted that. “You can do that,” she whispers. 

And so he does. He leans in and kisses her cheek, sweet and soft, and hears her gentle hum as he does it again. 

He kisses a trail to her lips, finding her mouth wet and eager as she clings to him, opening her mouth for him. The red wine is rich and heavy, and he moans as his hands slip down beneath the athletic shorts, feeling soft cotton and lace. “Rey-“

“Sh.” He’s shushed by this wonderful, perfect woman as she takes his hand from her ass and moves it around, kissing him again and oh, fuck, she’s guiding his fingers down the front. He can feel her sex through the cotton of her panties, and groans low in his throat. 

“We’re going too fast,” he mutters against her mouth.

“Do you care?” she breathes, her nails raking down his back again, and when he searches in his mind for reasons that they really, really shouldn’t do this, he … doesn’t find any. 

She’s wanted this for months. He’s wanted this for months. She’s giving him the opportunity to do this. 

“Fuck it,” he says, out loud this time as he kisses her again, so hard she nearly tips backwards as his fingers slide along her slit through the thin fabric. It’s not much, but it’s apparently enough for her, because she mewls and bucks against his touch. He can feel the heat of her against his fingers, the soft curves of her folds, how damp the fabric is. And he’s glad for the loose sweatpants he’s wearing, his cock very much interested in everything he can feel just through the cotton. 

“Ben…” 

His voice is a soft gasp as his lips find her bare shoulder, his eyes closing as he focuses on stroking her. She grinds against his fingers as best as she can, and he presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss to her bare skin as he trails up and down her slit before slipping back up to rub at where he thinks her clit might be. 

“Lower…” It’s a sigh before he inches lower and rubs again, and he gets a jerk of her hips in response. “Oh!” 

“You’re sensitive,” he mutters. 

“I’ve been spending most of the nights in the labs,” Rey breathes. “I haven’t had the time to…” 

She trails off, letting him think about it, and he groans lowly. “You’re going to be the fucking death of me, Rey,” he growls, hearing her breathy laughter as he continues to rub at her through the thin cotton. It cuts off into a moan soon after, and he feels her nails dig into his shoulder through his t-shirt as she gasps a little. 

It’s not much, no. Not as much as it would be on bare skin, or with concentrated effort instead of just feeling blindly, but he feels her tense, her hands clenching against his shoulder and in his hair before she’s sighing, laughing slightly. 

“Fuck…” she whispers, and he pulls back from her shoulder, looking up at her as she grins and reaches for his jaw. She tugs him in for a kiss that’s far gentler than any of the others they’ve exchanged, and his heart does this strange swooping thing when he realizes that he can do this. He can kiss her. He can touch her. Sure, they haven’t talked about it, not really, but the idea of this going somewhere, of him being able to hold her and kiss her on the cheek and slip his hand into her shorts-

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Ben murmurs, his cock half hard in his sweatpants as he feels her grin against his mouth, pulling him against her. 

“Then I’m glad we’re doing it,” Rey says, and he smiles as well before he feels her hand slip along where his t-shirt has ridden up, skin hot. “You need a little help?” 

“Yes, please.” It’s practically a moan as she slips her hand beneath the elastic of his sweatpants, her grin absolutely sinful when she doesn’t feel any boxer-briefs beneath the worn cotton. “I was going to do laundry, too,” he explains quickly, glasses askew as he stares down at her. 

“Easier for me,” she teases, leaning in to kiss him sweetly as her hand wraps around him, and oh, fuck, that feels so much better than anything he’s done in the last few months. Granted, he hasn’t done much at all in the last few months. But what he has done is leagues behind her soft hand wrapping around his cock, pumping slowly and thumb brushing over the tip. It takes him an embarrassingly short time to become hard in her hand, and he moans against her mouth as she takes her sweet, sweet time with him. 

“Rey-“

“Patience, grasshopper,” she whispers, and somehow she manages to make the ridiculous phrase sound somewhat sexy as she tugs gently, her other hand slipping up and into his hair. “I’ve always wondered how soft your hair was…” 

“I don’t have much to compare it to, so I don’t know,” he admits, gasping as her hand tightens. “Fuck, Rey…” 

Her lips find his again, and he’s quickly becoming addicted to the taste of spicy teriyaki, red wine, and her as he moans and tries to step closer only to be blocked by the damn counter. He groans in frustration, but is rewarded by her scooting a bit closer, wiggling until she can loosely wrap her legs around his waist. 

Nothing more is said as she jerks him off, his hands finding her hips as she does this sinful flick of her tongue against his mouth that makes his fingers tighten. He’s close, he knows, and he tries to pull back to tell her only to have her chase him before he can even get the first letter of her name to roll from his tongue. He’s a goner, afterwards, her teeth scraping along his lower lip as he groans and cums in her hand. 

She pulls away soon after, breath hot against his lips as she stays in his space, dark brown eyes meeting his as she smiles sheepishly and moves her hand from his hair. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see her reaching for a paper towel from the dispenser, and he dips his head to watch her clean her fingers and palm up. He’s distracted by the sight of his cum on her hand, and so doesn’t realize that she’s leaning in until her soft lips press against his. 

“We should talk,” she whispers, and he couldn’t agree more. 

“We should,” he admits, before kissing her harder. 

\- 

“I’m not ready to date again.”

It’s a quick sort of confession, after her plate is cleaned and their wine glasses are empty and she’s settled against his side, his arm wrapped around her and her head on his shoulder. It feels incredible to have her so close, and have it be intentional. She still smells like lavender. He wonders if she continued to buy the baby lotion after she took the nearly empty bottle he’d noticed went missing the moment he bought a new one. He wouldn’t blame her – it smells good, and is the best moisturizer he’s ever used. 

“I don’t have the time for it,” Rey admits from beside him. “Classes are ramping up and lab times are slim. If I’m not here with Amy, I’m usually there.” 

“So we’re on the same page, with that,” Ben replies, the squeezing around his heart easing just slightly. “So … if we’re not dating … what is this?” 

There’s silence, then, and he looks down at her to find her wearing her thinking expression, the one where her brow bunches and her lips purse and she looks so damn cute he can barely stand it. “… friends who kiss a lot and do sexual things while the girl friend takes care of the guy friend’s adorable daughter during the day and kisses him when the daughter is put to bed?” she asks, looking up at him with one brow raised. 

“I like that,” Ben admits quietly. “I’m sorry, I just … after Kate-“ 

“So she does have a name,” Rey insists, sitting up straight. “Poe, Finn and I just call her the Bitch Who Left.” 

“She’s not a bitch, don’t say that,” Ben protests as he sits up straighter as well. “She just … didn’t want to be a mother. And I wanted to be a father. And it was her body and her decision and I’ll be forever grateful that she decided to carry Amy and that she transferred full custody.” 

Rey’s quiet for a moment, before she leans into him again. He lets her, wrapping his arm back around her. “… what happened?” 

“We had a one night stand that turned into a month of awkward dating once she realized she was pregnant, and then she figured out that I wanted to be a father, and decided to carry Amy so that I could raise her,” he admits, voice soft as he looks at the blank-screened television. “And then she moved to Manhattan, and aside from the checks that come, I haven’t heard from her since.” 

“Nothing? No text to see how Amy’s doing, no email, no phone call, nothing?” Rey asks, and Ben shakes his head before shrugging slightly. 

“No,” he says, voice quiet. “I can’t hate her, and I can’t blame her. She wasn’t the mother type. I can only be grateful that she gave me Amy. And we would’ve been a horrible couple, anyway.” 

There’s silence from Rey, and then he startles a bit at the soft kiss to his cheek. “Kate,” she mutters. 

“Katherine,” Ben murmurs. “Amy Leia Katherine Solo.” 

“I didn’t realize that’s what the K was,” Rey admits. 

Ben shrugs again. “It felt like the right thing to do,” he confesses, and he feels her hand as she finds his and laces their fingers together, resting her head back on his shoulder and tucking her face against his neck. 

There were quiet moments like this with Kate. Soft, tender ones, though they were few and far between and mostly in doctors offices before pivotal milestones. Ones that were filled with him asking what the hell he was doing, her probably asking herself the same thing. But through all of them, all he wanted to do was get up and leave. 

He doesn’t want this moment, this one with Rey, to end. 

“So no dating,” he says quietly. “But kissing’s okay?” 

There’s a burst of soft, sunshine-y laughter from his right, and he looks down to see Rey grinning at him, her hand squeezing his. 

“Kissing is definitely okay,” she replies, leaning in to do just that.


End file.
